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Old October 26th, 2003 (12:44 AM).
    Posts: n/a
    Not bad, not bad at all. A pretty nice touchy-feely story of beginning love. The description isn't bad, but I did find some redundencies. I think you mentioned a setting sun three times in one paragraph once.

    If I were to say a comment to consider for improvment, I think that this chapter was simply OK. Nothing to terribly exciting happens. If you could find a way to improve upon this, I think you have a very solid fic.

    Nice writing style too, it is very balanced.

    *gives oni flygon Mega's "Seal of Good Writing Style"*