Thread: The Beta Place
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Old November 13th, 2008 (7:19 PM).
Blue Screen of Death's Avatar
Blue Screen of Death Blue Screen of Death is offline
Wait, what?
    Join Date: Jun 2008
    Location: Wherever
    Age: 22
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Quirky
    Posts: 325
    Category - Plot and Grammar
    Genre specialty- Adventure, horror, journey, thriller. No romance though.
    Preferred method of contact - PM
    Examples of writing -
    Absol tales
    Iron man
    Forever shall I be at your side (Not completed)
    Thud thud thud. I heard the foot steps, dreading what was next.

    Thud thud thud. They continued, adding to my dread.

    Thud thud thud. Time slowed, but my heart sped up.

    Thud thud thud. It was here, outside my door.

    Thud thud thud. Slowly the door creaked, the thing was coming in.

    Thud thud thud. The foot steps moved into my room, intesifying my fear.

    Thud thud thud. It was standing there, underneath my bed.

    Silence. It stopped moving. It must have seen what was on my desk.

    Thud thud thud. It is standing by my bed again.

    Thud thud thud. It is coming to the ladder.

    Thud thud thud. It is climbing up to my bed.

    I cannot look, my fear is to great.

    "Zeke, wake up!" It shouted, at the foot of my mattress.

    "I am awake." I replied, still not wanting to look.

    "Good, then this will hurt more." It sneered, preparing whatever barbaric torture device it had in store.

    Sharp, stinging pain in my forehead. A round metal object had been thrown, and out of it came a dear friend of mine.

    "Sentret?" It said inquisitively.

    "Hello Ette, how are you today?" I replied, rubbing the spot of impact on my forehead.

    "Hey, idiot, get out of bed!" The thing said, this time simply hitting one of my feet with its fist.

    "Leave monstrosity! To the realm from whence ye came!" I shouted, pointing at it.

    "Hey! Mom told you not to call me that!" It exclaimed, equally as loud. "I'm gonna tell on you!" '

    I sighed at this, hoping the consequences wouldn't be to severe. "By the way," It added before leaving "Mom told me to wake you up."

    I watched the thing I call my sister leave, knocking over a few books on my desk on her way out. I groaned as I got out of bed, not wanting to leave the warmth of my blankets; and my body shared my minds sentiment. As I got to the bottom of the ladder leading up to my bed, I sat down on my sisters bed underneath. Ette had followed me down, and even as I sat on my sisters bed, she squeaked repeatedly, sometimes scratching at my door. I watched, wondering why she was acting so odd this morning, but nothing came to mind as I thought about it. I slowly made my way to my dresser to get my clothes for today, still wondering what Ette wanted. Once I had decided to wear a black turtleneck shirt that day with thick carpenter jeans, I walked over to my desk to pick up what my sister had knocked off. One was a book I was reading called 'Absol tales' and the other was a complete field guide of Johto, the region I lived in. I softly placed them back on my desk, turning around to find Ette, still scratching at the door. After watching her do this for a little bit longer, I finally figured out why she was acting this way.

    Toady was the first day of my Gym leader challenge journey!

    I quickly grabbed the books I had placed on my desk and rushed out of my green walled room and down my stairs, and into my kitchen.

    My mother was in there, and when I walked in, she said "It's about time you woke up, you have to get going today!" Unlike most mothers, mine had accepted the fact that I was leaving, and had no problems with it. I said a quick "Yes, I know." to my mother, and sat down to eat my breakfast.

    As I nearly inhaled my cereal, a sudden chill came over me, and I bolted upright slowly turning around. There stood the thing, and as I laid my eyes upon it, a shriek escaped my lips, and I nearly fell out of my seat.

    Examples of reviews/beta-reports: -
    Review of Purplestealth's An awesome adventure
    Review of Dark_Aero's Little bit longer
    Review of lvl99rayquaza's Sinnoh guardians: rise of Blaze
    Strengths/weaknesses: I may be a little harsh, or just plain odd. I tend to review things in a way that gets the job done good, but not in an extremely professional way. Other than that, I do sometimes act impulsive.
    "Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms."
    ~Groucho Marx
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