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Old June 7th, 2009 (9:05 PM).
Misheard Whisper's Avatar
Misheard Whisper Misheard Whisper is offline
Waiting for the rain
  • Gold Tier
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Doctor Drakken's lair
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 3,389
Oh. My. God. Shrike, I haven't read any of your work before, so I didn't know what you were capable of, but . . . jeez. This story - even unfinished - is just amazing. You created a really great sense of suspense throughout the piece, and I just loved seeing the Pokemon getting picked off one by one. (I'm sick like that) I have a funny feeling that Buneary will be next... And it's great how you've included the relationships between the Pokemon, and how each one reacts differently to situations. You know, I've seen so many fics where Pokemon just pop out, do their attacks or whatever, and vanish again. But even in those that don't, very few authors give all their characters (including Pokemon) individual personalities. So that, to me, is one sign of a masterful author. Kudos to you.

I always, however, try to find a problem with everything I review. With most, it's not too hard. With yours, however, all I could find was this:

Slowly Christine looked up, only to come face to face with a Gastly standing right in front of her.
Logic Nazi on the loose. Perhaps "floating" might be a better choice, but pfft. I bow down before your superior literary skill. *goes off to edit own story in hopes of making it seem readable next to this* Please let me know when you write the next part.
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