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Old July 23rd, 2009 (7:17 PM).
JX Valentine's Avatar
JX Valentine JX Valentine is offline
Your aquatic overlord
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Harassing Bill
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Nature: Bold
Posts: 3,280
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Protip: Never ever write your fanfiction in the Reply to Thread/New Thread box. Write it in a word processor. That way, you can save your work without letting anyone else see it, and you can spell check it, proofread it, and generally spend more time on it than you would in one sitting on PC.

Other than that, it's really difficult to pick out what you're doing correctly/incorrectly because your grammatical errors are so distracting. Sorry to say it so bluntly, but yeah. The entire single-paragraph thing going on actually (literally) makes my eyes cross when attempting to read your work, and thanks to a lack of period usage, you're actually making it a bit of a challenge just trying to figure out who's saying what. That's not good.

So, yes. We welcome you with open arms to this forum, but please go back and proofread your work carefully, making sure you write in a word processor in order to give yourself enough time to work on things and clean up your writing. Your readers will most likely be seriously turned off by a large block of text with linguistic errors everywhere, even if you happen to have a really awesome story idea. Feign has given you specifics about paragraphs (although it's in general that whenever you start a new topic -- and a change of speakers is considered as such -- you start a new paragraph), but even then, given the fact that you've stated you'll add better grammar and spelling makes me think you're not working to your full potential. I'd like to see what you can do yourself before offering any further advice.
Professional ninja. May or may not actually be back. Here for the snark and banter at most.

Need some light reading?
Anima Ex Machina (Chapter 20 now available)
The Leaf Green Incident (SWC 2012 winner)
Braid (Creepypasta apparently)
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