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Old September 6th, 2009 (11:58 PM).
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Citrinin Citrinin is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
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Age: 20
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Originally Posted by Kanto Lover
Josephine’s sincerity was genuine enough it threw the Shinx’s tantrum out the window.
This seemed a bit odd to me, as if to say there's some threshold other than total sincerity that the Shinx would accept. I would change it to something along the lines of "Shinx could see Josephine's sincerity, which through his tantrum out the window."

Originally Posted by Kanto Lover
“All right, Riley! Let’s go! Give it all you’ve got!” the fourteen-year-old girl yelled, before Sandshrew could muster up a counter-attack.
You've already established that she's fourteen years old in this chapter, so the sentence seems a bit redundant/awkward. :s

But apart from that, I enjoyed this chapter, particularly your battle description. ^^ Keep it up. :D
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