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Old April 1st, 2010 (5:39 PM). Edited September 10th, 2010 by Goku.
Yuoaman's Avatar
Legen- wait for it...
Silver Tier
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 4,675
How many of you did I fool, even for a moment? I hope at least one...

Anyway... I'm starting a new LP - that will probably be updated less frequently - of one of my favorite GBA games of all time. This game is Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town.

This LP will be written in a slightly different format than those you've seen from me previously, there will probably be less emoticon use (which is hard for me, haha.), and there will probably be less reader participation, as Harvest Moon has mechanics that wouldn't quite allow for that. :\

Well, onto the LP!

Spring 1 -

Dear Diary:

If you had told me this morning that by the end of the day I'd be the owner of a farm in a small town whose name I can't remember, I would have called you insane for suggesting such a thing. But today that's become my reality.

This morning I was violently awakened by my girlfriend of six months Sharo Megan (strange that that would slip my mind...), who told me that we were “going on a picnic”. Why I didn't suspect anything then I'll never know: we had never been on a picnic previously, and I had never detected from her any desire to go on one in the future. But, suffice to say, in my less-than-coherent state I saw nothing wrong with this, and dressed myself in the clothes she had provided me. I should have realized that none of these garments were familiar to me, but at the time I was, as stated, not perfectly coherent at the time.

Within ten minutes of my awakening I found myself sitting in my car next to Megan, who hadn't spoken since we had entered the vehicle. She was holding the steering wheel so hard that it looked as if she were afraid of it running off on her. “So where are we going?” I recall myself asking her as we left the main highway, and started along one of those dusty roads that seem to appear out of nowhere, and disappear just as suddenly.

“A nice place,” Megan said in a cheerful tone that only now I realize was horribly false.

Still rather groggy from staying up rather late the previous night I decided to see if I could get a little rest on the way to our mystery destination. I can't recall sleeping, but the next thing I knew was Megan tapping my shoulder insistently, and telling me we had arrived.

After I had worked my way out of the car I closed the door and made my way over to open the driver's side door. By the time I had rounded the front of the car, however, Megan slammed her foot down on the pedal and began driving away. “I think we should see other people!” she called to me, as I stood on the side of a small dirt road at an unknown distance from our my apartment.

After analyzing the situation (there wasn't much to analyze) I set off down the road, hoping to find some sign of civilization...

Hmm... this place looks sort of familiar.

Oh thank god, another human being, I've been alone for ever so long! It definitely hasn't been twelve minutes...

And...? I'm not hurting anything... I kind of just wandered in from those trees over there.

But I just did...

Shut your mouth!

Oh god... it's like when my parents fought while we were on that...



Yeah... I haven't thought about him in years, though...

How could I have possibly known that?

I don't know... maybe you-

Never mind, it's not important.

Of course. Well...

So... did you start rifling through his things before or after the funeral?

D-did... did I say that? I meant to say... err... I meant to say... say...

Haha! Don't sweat it, man. I'd have probably been in there the second I found out.


Well, whatever. What about the will?

Oh damn...

Yeah... that's my name.

Oh! You said Kevin... I thought you said Kivee-

Of course I said it! I'm pretty sure I'd recognize my own name!

Sorry, I was just making sure...

He doesn't mean that apology...

Well it all started when I was eight years old...

Hell no. I want to go back home, I forgot to feed the goldfish.


Oh ****, I've been found!

I will give you seven dollars if you don't, those fish-haters are not my family.

Screw you, old man.

Because I obviously have a great love of the wilderness, what with all of my video games and reading...

You know that money, old man? That money I offered you? You know what's happening to that? I'm going to buy several pounds of candy and I will burn it just to spite you. So... take that.

Oh god... I apologize, I apologize! You can have your damn money!

I am upset...

Why are you so keen on having an eight year old child around your farm?

And many chances to escape... MOM, DAD, I WANT TO STAY ON THE FARM, NOW!

Curse you, cow... I would have gotten over the fence, I would have...

Did you have to tie me in?


Back off, chicken! I know who you work for!

You have to do what you have to do... I'll escape soon...

You're the only one that I can trust here, dog...

Alright... so after I clear the fence I run to-

Am... am I hearing voices?

So... lack of movement means death for you? I guess I'd better not sleep where you can see me...

I'm not really interested in a playmate...



Alright, alright, I'll move...

Well... my-



Yeah... most of that vacation is pretty much a blank afterward...


Don't sass me, boy. Anyways...

I don't think you have the sexual preference that would allow for procreation...

I would prefer no-

Don't sass me, boy.

Alright, alright... I'll write you a letter.

This... this just says 'The Farm'... there's no postal code...

Yep! No time for goodbyes!

Well, that's just how the cookie crumb-



Not if I have any choice in the matter...

That's one thing you could call her...

I will write you! I will! Just get out of our car!

But I-

Just go!


I wrote two letters... and both were returned to me...

No, my gir-

Of course it's what happened.

Hmmm... I guess I need somewhere to stay while I wait for Megan to cool off... I'll take the place, stranger.

I guess I should have payed more attention in my law classes, but this is probably proper procedure for passing ownership of a property...

He's watching!?

Dear Diary:

What have I gotten myself into?

EDIT: I'm well aware that the joke is late, but this thread took a couple of days to be approved...

Suit Up!

"pps new screenie" - No, really shut up yuoaman.

Haaave you read my LP?
Pokémon Quartz - The only one of mine really worth reading.

What about my [Un]Abridged series?
Aquaman the Unabridged Parody Series - Language warning.

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