View Single Post
Old March 31st, 2011 (2:37 AM). Edited March 31st, 2011 by Beechlgz.
Beechlgz Beechlgz is offline
    Join Date: May 2010
    Posts: 521
    I was having a really long dream last night and I thought "I cannot waste this because it's such an interesting story idea". Please tell me would you read a story like this? I'm not sure if I'm going to write it or not because it's a difficult feat for me. I don't mind if someone else gives it a bash, but bear in mind if you do I might also attempt it too.

    main character:

    Male, teenager, living alone, final year at high school. The high school is a dump. His education is pretty bad, and he's going to leave with no prospects for his future. He lives alone because he got sick of his drug-abusing parents, and now lives in an abandoned warehouse where he has collected furnishings, a fire, etc.

    Lives in a rough neighbourhood, almost pre-apocalyptic. Very dangerous. Police are corrupt criminals. Hospitals are too - they will treat you, but then you will be in debt to them and they will seize all of your assets to cover the cost of the treatment. If you don't have any, they won't even look at you (or if they've already treated you they'll have you thrown in prison).

    Our male protagonist is annoyed by the Japanese trio who lark about in class, causing mischeif. A group of high energy teenage boys who are loud, boistrous, fight and play a lot, and generally see life as one big game. Protagonist can't stand them. Protagonist only really sees the serious side of life, worrying about how he will support himself.

    These are the 3 Japanese guys: A tough-guy jolly character with a shaven head and tattoos, a calm, caring type character with long black fuzzy hair, and a slightly quiet character with an emo hair cut (shaven at the sides, long and dangly from the top with red streaks). But all 3 have personality traits in common: happy, non-serious, boistrous, etc, surprising since they're living in poverty.

    Walking back from school, past the slums (which he hates passing due to safety risk), our protagonist is caught in stray gunfire, with a bullet crossing through his frontal lobe. The Japanese trio catch sight of this as protagonist crashes to the ground.

    For a moment there is no movement, then protagonist finally stirs, before sitting up, swaying and clutching his bleeding head. The trio go to his aide, amazed and impressed that he even survived, never mind that fact he got back up. Since going to hospital is financially risky and could land them in prison, the trio take him to their home and treat him with home remedies.

    All the trio have is a single shop in a run-down neighbourhood which doubles for them as a home. It seems to sell second-hand home electronics, but is doing poorly, full of only bits and pieces and no regular stock, and hasn't made a sale in a long time. Very unprofessional. It used to belong to their parents, but nothing is said about what happened to them. Our protagonist recovers here until his wounds begin to heal. It's touch-and-go, though. He risks severe infection.

    When he is up and about after a couple of weeks he seems a different person, more child-like and innocent and less serious. He seems to be re-learning things and seems to have suffered some brain damage. He doesn't talk at first, even when spoken to he just stares back seemingly confused. His memories do start to come back including his ability to speak, but his personality is permanently altered due to the permanent damage to his frontal lobe. He starts to be less serious and more fun-loving, like the Japanese trio.

    They teach him their ways of living, of being free and happy even in the face of poverty and oppression. Protagonist has forgotten about all the worries he used to practically get sick over from stress when he lived alone.

    Their idea of fun is getting into fights with each other, running around, stirring some light-hearted trouble (with those who oppress others and the fat-cats), getting drunk, etc. Something at the back of protagonist's mind keeps telling him "this is wrong, I shouldn't be doing this, these people aren't good for me" but it's not clear enough.

    One time during the day when they're messing around together and it's hot out, tumbling around on the concrete and kicking a ball with some of the local kids, having a few beers, etc generally a lazy day, protagonist starts to feel dizzy, faint and distant and walks into the underpass for some shade. Very suddenly and unexpectedly he collapses to the ground. Long-hair fuzzy guy runs over while the others haven't noticed yet and turn protagonist's head round so he can see his eyes asking him over and over if he's okay.

    Protagonist seems to be staring into nothingness and not responding to anything, only blinking occasionally. Then he starts to fit and foam, causing long-hair fuzzy guy to exclaim something in Japanese. He runs up, leaving protagonist to fit, (clearly not thinking straight due to panic because he shouldn't leave him alone).

    Long-hair guy insists to the other guys on an ambulance when they realise protagonist is bleeding heavily from the nose too, even though it means they will need to hand over their shop to pay for the expensive treatment and end up homeless. It's a risk they end up taking, and the paramedics arrive not long after protagonist has stopped fitting and is conscious again. The paramedics just give him some drugs to prevent any future fits, since they have assessed that the guys don't have enough between them to cover any major treatment, they'd need to do scans on him in hospital and stuff to find the exact cause. They squalid little shop wouldn't cover it, they're already going to have to give up their stock to pay for the drugs.

    Protagonist seems to be in a bad way, lying on a futon in the back room of the shop, not recognising anyone. He sees lots of people in the room who simply are not there, maybe people from his childhood. He keeps seeing seahorses. He also seems to have a temperature and is sweating a lot. His friends suspect that there's more to these drugs than meets the eye, and decide not to give protagonist any more.

    So, I'm thinking later in the story they manage to find an actual proper doctor to come and have a look at him, maybe one who is sympathetic to the needs of the poor, or maybe one of the group get involved with something more dangerous, such as finding a doctor who is involved in an organised gang and who he can do illegal grunt work for in return for treatement and hospital access. Not sure about this. But they do eventually find a doctor who discovers it's the fact he was shot in the head that is causing this to happen to him. Swelling, heat, infection and restriction, causing burst veins and impaired brain activity. Requires surgery to remove the bullet, as well as long and costly treatment to fight the infection, with no guarantee of success.

    The gang involved with the doctor need somebody to do something for them, knowing that the job is too dangerous (maybe something that will involve death, or something that will involve imprisonment, basically they need to use someone as a figurative human shield) and now the boys are in a difficult situation because the gang want to use one of them. In return they will treat their freind, but should they refuse, they will kill him.

    So we see the boy's happy-go-lucky nature slowly dwindle away. I'm not sure how it might end. I haven't decided yet.
    What are your thoughts?

    If you're curious this is the dream that inspired it:

    Some guy who lives alone is shot in a classroom in the forehead (should have killed him instantly) three times, and amazingly gets back up and sits forward. The Japanese trio in the class (who the main character hates) are amazed and think its totally the coolest thing they've ever seen and take him in as their new fourth friend. Why the guy doesn't get medical care, I don't know.

    So, the Japanese trio live in what was once a shop in a slummy area (maybe the whole city is like that) and take their new friend there to let him recover. All is well. Main character has a new lease of life and starts to take things a bit more lightly, realising he almost died in misery. He starts having some fun for once. His wounds heal and he seems a different person... maybe because he just had a partial lobotomy!

    There are 3 of the Japanese guys: A tough-guy jolly character with a shaven head and tattoos, a calm, caring type character with long black fuzzy hair, and a quiet, emo-ish type character with an emo hair cut (shaven at the sides, long and dangly from the top with red streaks). But all 3 have personality traits in common: happy, non-serious, boistrous, etc, surprising ince they're living in poverty.

    However, suddenly out of nowhere the Japanese guys' new friend takes a sudden down-turn, collapses out of the blue, and starts to take fits, while not recognising anyone or anything, and not responding to stimuli (sometimes staring into space, or shaking violently). Long-hair guy freaks out and starts shouting something in Japanese before shouting for an ambulance.

    The guy who was shot, now the one having fallen ill (this is long after his wounds are fully healed over), is visited by paramedics who, being from such a run-down slummy city, don't take him into hospital but instead just give him lots of drugs to stop his fitting, especially since he has no money.

    Later, somehow, they get a doctor in (who? How? Why? I don't know) who is in amazement that this guy survived from gunshots to the head, and explains that's probably what's causing the fits and loss of awareness and personality. Meanwhile, the guy is having hallucinations that his 3 friends are seahorses floating around the room (and thinks this is totally normal), before they actually enter the room, and is also hallucinating lots of other people in the room who aren't there, maybe people from his past.

    Then the dream switches to a woman going into a Channel 4 News station for a job interview. She heads up the building until she reaches the office of the woman who will be taking her interview, only to discover the interviewer has gone completely mad.
    Reply With Quote