Thread: [Pokémon] The Ballad of Greg Thomas
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Old February 13th, 2012 (7:04 PM).
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psyanic psyanic is offline
    Join Date: May 2011
    Location: The USA
    Age: 21
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    Originally Posted by FourCartridge View Post
    As for the whole Greg looking like he's a native thing, not to offend you, but you should've read a little closer. That's not Greg. It's Anthony, a character I created just so Greg has a way to get into the Pokemon World. I wanted to show the whole incident about the portal from that side so the reader wouldn't get blindsided and ask rapid fire questions when Greg went through. Don't worry, Him and the Alakazam lose significance after the Prologue, so you shouldn't get confused about who's who.

    Dang it. Bad habits... that's why I just got back a failed test because I just speed-read through everything. Sorry about that. To be honest, I think starting with Greg would have been a lot better. Starting with someone else and then just throwing them out is a bit weird. Not that I haven't seen it happened, it's a tad unusual though.

    No matter what, the crash is a big deal. Even if Greg is describing it, it should still be very descriptive or emotional or anything. Do what you want with it, but keep in mind that you have to build it up so that we know it's important. In my opinion, first person should have more description than anything. I mean you're actually seeing it. The writing puts readers into the story, so visualization is a bigger factor.
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