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Old March 1st, 2012 (3:24 PM).
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dbcification dbcification is offline
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    Originally Posted by psyanic View Post
    My, my, my. My. So many people to help! Yes, two is a lot in my book. I don't have very high standards. That's just depressing... These spoiler tags are annoying me now. Boo~

    Okay, so first at dbcification:

    Your Sneasel idea is still a bit off. I think the point of training Pokemon is to make Pokemon stronger. Being different doesn't necessarily help it. Looking for the perfect Pokemon is like finding your special other. Your special other is not perfect, I'll tell you that right now. It's all about looking for the person you can see in the perfect light. Stop looking for the perfect thing, make it perfect for you. The Sneasel should be perfect for the trainer. It should be like a match. Studying abnormal behavior (which is really subjective in my opinion) in Pokemon is, like I said before, trying to figure out what a normal person is like. It's impossible to do that because everybody is different. Honestly, making Sneasel so "special" makes the idea of it seem forced. Try to work in the canon. I know I mentioned this before, but I'm really starting to like the idea of Professor Elm wanting to study how Pokemon born/raised in captivity differ from those in the wild. It's just more logical.

    I know you want Team Rocket to be stronger than usual, but taking over regions just isn't realistic. Team Rocket is as strong as they are depending on your world. That's part of world building. Make them how you want them to be, don't judge them based on the games. Look at a few other works of fanfiction. If you can't find any decent ones, just message me or Google, or even Bing if you're feeling lucky. A few have Team Rocket and they're not exactly wimps, but trainers aren't looking for the perfect Pokemon. They just battle them or fight against them the way they always do, with their normally trained Pokemon.

    Okay, so for the whole Ilex Forest thing. I mean, that's not a bad idea as long as the writing is solid. Then again, that's the case for anything really. I never heard of Celebi laying an egg to begin with. What's more important is why is it injured? And why would it trust the duo with an egg? It's not the fact that it just disappears, but more of the fact that its introduction and its behavior act more in canon.

    Yeah, no spoiler tags. I'm being a rebel.

    Geez, you ask some hard questions. It makes my brain shed a few pounds, which isn't good if you think about it literally.
    I've thought on this for a couple days, and I'm going to have to take a few more to figure out my direction with this additional input...

    However, I want to ask about my ending/ending third of the story. I just want to say, this is heavy, heavy spoilers ahead. Sorry. :/

    Also this is a ridiculously long part, so don't feel as if you have to read it all at once and comment all at once.

    So, the last third of the story is ignited by the death of Lyra. I really don't want to spoil exactly how she dies, because that's one of the most poignant moments in the entire story, but just giving background. Ethan is reeling from her death, and thinking about what to do next. Giovanni has been somehow cranking up the power of his Pokemon to dangerous levels, to the point where Weavile (who evolved from Sneasel during the fight with Silver in Mahogany Town's Gym) can't even hurt Giovanni's Nidoking with Ice Punch.

    Before she passes, Lyra gives Ethan her Celebi, who he resolves to release in her honor when the rest of the adventure is over. He releases her other Pokemon on the Routes she found them, after another tearjerky scene of her burial back in New Bark. I'm just going to say, I already wrote those two scenes, and I cried like a sir reading it back. He spends a while in a kind of depressed stupor, then Celebi starts tugging on his arm and he follows it out to Lyra's grave, where it Teleports him to a very dark cave. Celebi starts emitting a soft light, and Ethan follows it. Eventually they come to a sort of conclave.

    The powerful Psychic Pokemon, legendary and non-legendary alike are all represented at this meeting. Their minds meld as one, and they telepathically speak to Ethan about the source of Giovanni's power. Time for a history lesson.

    When Arceus created the world, it created powerful gemstone eggs, which held the forebears of every type of Pokemon, the common animals, and humans. These early humans, in honor and reverence to Arceus, gathered up the shards of these eggs and forged tablets, pleading with Arceus for its continued favor and protection. They built a temple to house these tablets, which were as big as a full-grown man, and Arceus itself manifested in the temple and set power in the tablets to keep balance over the world while it slept. Some generations later, a group of evil-minded humans stole these tablets, awakening the fury of Arceus. They knew they were as good as dead, but they hated Arceus for the way they were made - equal to Pokemon, which they regarded as mindless beasts. Even so, Arceus spent the energy and fury it had built up in its sleep eradicating these humans, but the damage was done, and Arceus needed to sleep again to rebuild its strength. Its last action before falling into the slumber it has been in ever since, it split the tablets and scattered them across the world.

    The plates were lost to time, as was the language used to plead with Arceus. But by an devastating trick of fate, Giovanni stumbled across one of the plates, an Earth Plate, as it were. He studied it, and concluded there must be more out there. He spent countless years tracking them down, but the year of Team Rocket's takeover, he finally found the second half of the Earth Tablet, as well as the Poison Tablet and the Normal Tablet. With those under his control, and Arceus safely slumbering as it had for eons on end, he used the tablets to gain control over the Pokemon governed by said tablets. Not control in a literal sense (something Ethan will have trouble comprehending), but control in that no Pokemon governed by a tablet in Giovanni's possession can put a scratch on him, or on any of his Pokemon.

    The Psychic conclave will suggest that Ethan go look for the one Psychic type who's single-handedly stood up to Giovanni and won before, and has the all the same motivations as Ethan does to exact revenge, Mewtwo.

    To make a long portion of the story short, Celebi teleports Ethan and co out of the conclave, and Ethan sneaks across the border to Kanto by crossing Mount Silver. In the process, he convinces Red to come out of solo training, and in the ensuing fuss over Red's reappearance, Ethan gets out past the blockade. He makes his way through Mt. Moon, and, guided by memories Red imparted to him, sneaks his way to Cerulean Cave, which the Rockets have sealed off. Ethan's Sandslash (captured in Union Cave in between the first and second Gym challenges) tunnels beneath the Rockets' sealing stone, and Ethan descends to the depth of Cerulean Cave, avoiding the wild Pokemon, who exhibit the full strength that wild Pokemon can attain. At the very bottom, Ethan meets Mewtwo, who is surprised to see another human in its home. It tells Ethan that he is distinctly more powerful than the feckless little Rockets that sealed off the Cave, and asks why Ethan came here, to his doom.

    Ethan tells Mewtwo about Giovanni and the tablets, and Mewtwo flies into a rage. It agrees to come with Ethan if Ethan shows it "the power of one worthy to be my partner in my last bid for revenge on my creator." After a very intense battle, Mewtwo calls for Ethan to stop, and teleports them to the outskirts of Saffron City, or, what's left of it. Giovanni destroyed most of the outlying buildings and homes, including the Magnet Train station and Ethan's old neighborhood. He's taken the old Silph Co. building as his headquarters, and Rockets are swarming the place.

    Mewtwo, always one for intimidation and flashy tricks, teleports them to the top floor of the building, at the same time releasing a shockwave that blows the roof off of Silph Co. Ethan and Mewtwo meet Giovanni there, and Giovanni reveals that he's collected the Psychic Tablet, and quickly wipes the floor with Mewtwo and turns his attention to Ethan. However, Celebi flies out of its Pokeball and teleports Ethan and the badly injured Mewtwo to a far-off ruined temple, which turns out to be both the Sinjoh Ruins and the Temple where the Tablets were kept. Celebi, however, is overwhelmed by Giovanni's Pokemon, and is captured.

    Once in the Sinjoh Ruins, Mewtwo understands the true nature of Giovanni's threat, and tells Ethan how to get out of the ruins to the Sinnoh side, and where to find, and hopefully awaken, Arceus. Mewtwo stays behind, and uses the residual energy in the Temple to amplify its psychic power to send out a telepathic message to all the legendary Pokemon, informing them of Giovanni's plot and Ethan's mission. Meanwhile, Ethan emerges in a crypt beneath the Solaceon Ruins, and after a few moments of confusion, emerges into the Library itself. He goes to the Pokemon Center to look at a map of Sinnoh to find out how to get to the Hall of Origin, without success. He decides to stay the night in said Pokemon Center, only to be visited in his dreams telepathically by several Pokemon, ranging from the Lake Guardians, to Darkrai and Cresselia. None of them mean him any harm, and appear to him in the dream to speak to him about the Hall of Origin, and moreover, the key to the Hall, the Azure Flute.

    The next morning, word of his emergence from the ruins attracts Cynthia, who, upon hearing the full story of his journey and dream, leads him to Celestic Town, where she retrieves the Flute. However, she won't give it to him without putting him to the test, and their original Pokemon square off (Garchomp v Weavile). Weavile, being both a very strong Pokemon and an Ice type, easily defeats Garchomp, but doesn't strike it when it's downed, instead waiting for it to get back up before resuming the battle without being told to by Ethan (not the first time Weavile/Sneasel shows mercy, but one of the few he does so without input from Ethan). This strikes Cynthia as noteworthy, and she gives Ethan the Flute in exchange for taking her to the Hall of Origin as well, to ensure he means absolutely no harm to Arceus.

    They make their way to the Spear Pillar, where Dialga and Palkia are waiting. This surprises Cynthia, as she clearly was expecting the Spear Pillar to be empty. She then admits that if they weren't there, the Flute wouldn't have worked anyway, since it needs their song in harmony with it to open the way to the Hall of Origin. Ethan plays the Flute via impulse, and Dialga and Palkia begin humming along in harmony. As the song goes on, their song varies, and they take on a mournful sound. Eventually, Ethan finishes, and opens his eyes to see a glowing stairway leading up beyond the clouds where previously there had only been a sharp drop to the bottom of Mount Coronet. Ethan begins to walk up it, but stops as Cynthia doesn't follow. He begins to ask, but a Voice tells him that only the one who played the Flute and has been admitted can enter. Cynthia, upon questioning, admits she knew it, and that it was another test.

    Ethan marches up the stairway, going up past the clouds to beyond the edge of the atmosphere, even higher than Rayquaza flies. And there, he meets Arceus. Arceus appears as every Pokemon ever seen and recorded, as well as many Ethan's never seen in any database, as well as a swirling mist, a raging fire, and Arceus' true form, with its many arms curled around it. Arceus judges Ethan there on the spot, and wakes up, descending and manifesting itself in the form shown in canon. Arceus then speaks to Ethan, and I haven't worked this conversation out, but it ends in Arceus destroying all the plates and reassembled tablets, transporting Ethan to the top of Mount Silver, giving him the authority to remove Giovanni from power, and returning to its slumber.

    Ethan then descends, and passes through the blockade, marching down from Cerulean to Saffron. Then comes the final battle, which I haven't decided on how to execute. However, Giovanni will die. That much I've decided on.

    Any thoughts on this massive amount of text would be appreciated.
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