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Old March 1st, 2012 (3:27 PM).
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Greiger Greiger is online now
A mad mind... hehe
    Join Date: Sep 2011
    Location: A water pond, duh!
    Age: 26
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Serious
    Posts: 2,010
    @ShadowTheDarkrai Your appearance section is good enough since I really just want a general idea on what your character looks like. Your personality and history sections, however, need some work. Since your going for the job of Knight-Commander I do expect a more polished SU and since you are on the Knight's side I suggest reading their section more closely.

    Your personality might work if you edit it. Knights are protectors of the city and act to some as role models and to others as kind, compassionate enforcers. The Knights code specifically state that they show "compassion, bravery, honesty, empathy, chivalry, and mercy to all but their enemies". While it is acceptable for Knights to hate the Mechanists and do whatever they can to destroy their machines they wouldn't go around spreading violence whenever they could (i.e. in the cities.). Also the Knights take religion very seriously so you might want to edit the part about Necro not praying as much as his fellow Knights.

    Also you will need to rewrite your history. Whenever a pokemon is decided to be trained as a Knight they are taken to Swine where they train under retired Knights, so he wouldn't immediately be sent out onto the field. Also the Oak Enclave has not been attacked by the Knights or discovered yet so edit that part as well. The Council cities have no technology of any kind as there are Knights on patrol in each city.

    Once you correct your SU I'll check it over again but for now your reserved.
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