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Old April 7th, 2012 (5:55 AM). Edited December 8th, 2012 by bobandbill.
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Part Three - Looking for NETARO
Or a lot of walking north in which for the patient reader, curry increase!


BUT FIRST let's examine the stat screens to see what stuff means!

...or you can just skip the following spoiler! It's not that exciting.

Not-Sandslash (whose name has been shortened for the stat screen...despite that the remaining two letters might fit in anyway!) is 'Knd wood' - of the wood type, in other words. His personality trait is also to 'get angr' (or 'angry'), which is also represented by the lightning bolt. It means that he'll sometimes 'attack freely' - attack without you telling him to do so! (And how about that - Telefang had personality traits before Pokemon had natures, let alone its own 'personality traits', and these actually affect how they act in battle).

LV is level, and you start at 5 with the starter e-monster (and max out at 99). HP is HP, FD is... a happiness trait it appears (friendship?) as it goes up upon winning battles and the such, and EX is EXP. Maximum you need to level up is 999, btw.

SP is speed, hit is attack, and fend is defense - obvious enough. Bolt however stands for 'special attack' - and what that means is the ultra-super-special-awesome attack only some (usually evolved) e-monsters get. 'Teleg' is the defense against such attacks, or so I assume...

And finally - moves (or 'strategy'). Dive is an attack (akin to Tackle), and Diverge boosts his attack - like Howl. The last one Not-Sandslash learns later! Excitement!

And so ends the exciting tour of the statistics. Time to explore the world!

We have a time display and whatnot at the bottom, while the signal strength showing changes area to area...and is actually pretty important. We have 500 BL... boring lives? Brown lyrebirds? Bloody limbs? Oh, and we have full healt-


Just when you think you've struck it rich, it turns out Bek is too weak to move a box. Or unable to climb over it. Even Not-Sandslash cannot do anything to it. Truly the toughest of obstacles.

I bet this is all the tree stump's fault.

'It is truly a exciting place. Can we go home now to watch the [baseball]?'

Aw, bugger. I guess we have to go help out then. That crafty turtle-lizard...thing.

It seems Bek already got his running shoes on though...

You can run so fast you cut the grass! And from the grass you can get currency and hearts! HMM, this sounds awfully familiar...

Suddenly, a KESI. Oh god that's not familiar in the slightest.

Ah, our first battle. Fight is...well, fight, Position means 'check out the opponent's stats and whatnot', and Escape is Escape.

Bek has Not-Sandslash as a friend, but nobody else... so sad. Anyways, during a battle you can call other e-monsters to help you, but if you don't have any other phone numbers, then you 'didn't call the mate!'

...Miao? Does this KESI believe it is a cat?

That was not very nice, KESI. =(

Ah, good old engrish. What it means isn't hard to figure out, but oh dear, what an awkward way to word it.

Despite being only one level higher, Not-Sandslash is clearly superior, dealing some 17 points of more lost!

Moves can also miss/fail!

The 'attacked freely' bit is Not-Sandslash's personality trait kicking in.

We have overthrown the KESI and caught it!

...well, not really - catching in this game actually means getting the creature's phone number (I assume you got a good glimpse of their phone...right?). But despite beating up this KESI to a bleeding pulp and giving it the inability to sit down for a week, it refused to tell us its number! How rude.

On the flip side, exp points get...and balls?

Yes - it turns out BL stood for BALLS. The currency of the electric-monster's world is ball!

And Bek now has 531 balls!


As a side note - any HP lost in a battle can be regained by waiting, or waiting and mashing the B button. Take that, Pokemon Centres!

'Not really - they're far uglier and lacking in baseball. =( No offence, Not-Sandslash.'

Well, that's true, I guess - just look at Not-Sandslash!

And hey, another house - let's check it out.

'Holy baseball - a talking house!'

Oh god, this Takabi is really Frankenstein's monster!

I would not be surprised if he meant to teach Bek how to get phones to say hello. 'Why hello there, Mr Nokia!'

But no, Frankenstein's monster just rambles in a repetitive manner on what is super-effective against what with an attack of boring, wordy words.

Meanwhile, another KESI tries to fight us!

...eww. =(

After spitting its breakfast at us, the KESI decides that it would like to become friends!

Do you want the phone number of this...gray blob thingy?, sure why not.

Very good indeed!

Let's look at the 'dex entry' for it!

So it doesn't always come in this colour? Then why does it look like this!?! Yes, KESI, do go and hide yourself from sight. =(

Now whenever we have a battle, we can call up our new friend to fight for us! Yes - it's OK indeed.

This allows for wonderfully fun one-sided battles in your favour against opponents! And look, an OSIE shows up. Say hello, OSIE.

This means...that the attack was super effective. For the telefang bootleg, engrish increase!

Level up Grade raise!

These are such amazing stat gains!

Clearly this grade raising business impressed the OSIE.

What a wimpy entry.

That's enough of this showing of battles business for now - let's get moving and talking to people.

This thing tells us what types there are in the game. Not an interesting fellow either...

Yes, and it's once too many- oh hey a shop. I wonder what kind of stuff they sell here?

...ok, maybe they like mining or something?

It's not just a card - it's a P-card! But...what does the P stand for? Is this a Pokemon card?

Well this I can agree with-


...or maybe this is the D Shoot everyone talks about? =/

Yeah, maybe we'll just buy the game for now.

Seems everyone is waiting for this NETARO bloke to deliver the water already. Maybe they should tell KESI to stop spitting breakfast in it - then it'll be cleaner! And look - a person who does not look like Frankenstein's monster!

Ok you're just plain boring and telling me things I already realised. =(

Bang Bang.

Oh? Why is that?

Gotta hate those horrible guies! (But actually, he's not lying...)

Oh joy.

That's the entire content of that phone call. Well, have you had sense, Telefang?

Let's just walk north already and get to that place.

It's a bird!

A very mean bird. =( Note that flying stuff is super-effective against Not-Sandslash here.

Luckily it was foolish and attacked OSIE who is strong against it! (Somehow).

I was...unaware that birds had teeth...

Hmm, shopping for 'D Shoot', maybe? =/ But let us investigate.

Yes, I think Bek is a human... not necessarily a bright one, but he still counts!

How rude indeed!

More talking reveals he wants to just make friends with the electric monster...but wasn't the thing complaining about him one? And why does he have 'no interest in human being'? Man, this game is confusing.

I don't even know anymore. Why didn't anyone buy him an alarm clock!?

By 'take care', you mean...?

So that's why nobody else wants to go wake him up? How rude. You're all a bunch of wimps. =(

Nooooo not more engrish!

Sometimes your 'friends' will call you and tell you what item a particular species may want.

'That is the kind even though are not able to use but prefer'. Okaaaaay. If I get a computer I'm keeping it for myself.

Yes, I'm glad you agree with me.

What has happened here that isn't strange?

I hate it when that happens!

I am not even sure what [Midew T] was supposed to have been in English...

Man, what a nasty guy.

...mood swings?

Yes, I'm sure it would.

Bek also demonstrates an inability to lift barrels (despite him holding a drill and whatnot back in the shop just fine).

A speech! I wonder if he'll tell us something useful...

Hi, Dr Nick!

Oh god no. A politician!

You know a politician is desperate for votes when he decides that he'll use a curry store as a way to gather up votes. But then again, half of everyone seems to be crazy, so.

Then he walks off after jumping multiple times.

I wonder who is the more confused - Bek, for meeting a politician who promised to build a curry shop so he can become the Prime Minister, or the e-monster who doesn't even know what is the thing that the politician promised?

Ok, moving on away from the crazy curry cult... oh wait, OSIE was one of them. D=


Suddenly, a hole.

Ah, we must be getting closer finally! Whenever you see silly statues with faces you know you're nearly there!

The next update should be no less confusing!