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Old April 15th, 2012 (3:28 PM).
bobandbill's Avatar
Do the Wess dance!
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
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Sorry, but this is breaking a few of the FF&W rules. Firstly, you need to have some content in the first post rather than some author notes.

Then there's this:
All fanfics must be readable.
Fanfics are best shared in a readable manner. This means that proper English grammar rules should be followed as best as possible. When you finish writing your chapter, take a day to let it rest before reading it over for typos and other mistakes. If you believe that you are not good at catching your own mistake, ask for a beta reader in the Beta Place.
There's a number of typos and mistakes that a spell and grammar checker would have picked up on (such as the lack of capitalisation of 'I', and a lot of missing full stops), for starters, so make sure to write your story in a word processing document and make use of it, and take time to proofread as well.

It seems very quickly written too as each chapter is very short, and you're practically using the game text to describe a battle which isn't very enjoyable to read. Essentially, if someone wants to read how a battle goes like the games they might as well play the game themselves. With a story it's better to describe the battle and show us what happens and how it happens, rather than state that a Pokemon lost 30 damage.

I would also suggest against signups - they don't often work out, are more suited for RPGs rather than fics and you don't often get a good sense of the character/s someone else made up as well, and forcing them into a story decently isn't easy either.

I'd suggest checking out some other stories and the Writing Resources thread (linked in the FF&W rules thread) and work on editing your story before reposting, please. At any rate, going to close due to the reasons stated above.