Thread: [Pokémon] New Journies
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Old May 11th, 2012 (6:27 PM).
Vato Vato is offline
This Is Our Last Goodbye
     
    Join Date: Dec 2011
    Location: Juarez City, Mexico
    Age: 19
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Lonely
    Posts: 533
    Well, It's looking good so far, here are some flaws (the ones I could see)

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rafael p
    Journies
    *Journeys

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rafael p
    five o clock
    I think this should be "five o' clock", but I'm not pretty sure.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rafael p
    happiny
    Just like we do with people, you must start a Pokemon's name with a capital:
    Happiny

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rafael p
    Oh yea
    * yeah

    I like your story, but, I don't know, it just seems to progress a little bit too fast, try to go slowly, you can do this describing what's around or how the characters feel and stuff, and also, where exactly is the character? You should add notes about the region where he is and things like that.
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