Thread: [Pokémon] Redemption
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Old July 30th, 2012 (8:18 PM).
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Astinus Astinus is offline
Remember NovEnder
    Join Date: May 2006
    Location: Connecticut, USA
    Age: 30
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 9,959
    Yeah, docowocool, you'll want to double-check your facts when reviewing. As Umbr30n pointed out, Groudon is a Ground-type only and Victini is Fire-Psychic.

    Anyhow, Daniel Evans, welcome to FF&W! I'm glad to see that you managed to start your fanfic, and I hope it continues to go well for you! Because I am drat interested with this fic. To find out how the main character fought in the wars, what happened between the opening scene and the hospital scene, and everything else.

    Only small piece of advice is on punctuating dialogue, especially with full stops and commas.

    “My ex-boyfriend’s nickname.” she replied, blushing.
    The full stop after "nickname" should be a comma, since you're describing how the sentence is spoken.

    “I take away your sword,” My blade, three feet of gilded silver, levitated towards him and he caught it in his hand, vaporizing it in the process.
    Here, though, the comma after "sword" should be a full stop since what follows after the dialogue is its own sentence.

    I hope that (brief) explanation helps a little!
    Now nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody speaks my name
    I'm just another blister in the mouth of shame
    A bug in Ender's Game

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