View Single Post
Old August 28th, 2012 (9:06 PM).
Astinus's Avatar
Astinus Astinus is offline
Remember NovEnder
    Join Date: May 2006
    Location: Connecticut, USA
    Age: 30
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 10,048
    An alternate universe anime fic? Those are my favorite!

    This is looking to be interesting. I like how you're taking your time in setting up the story and getting the characters connected. It leaves time for references to older characters, like Todd and Suzie. It's also just really nice to spend time with all these characters, getting to know how they've changed in the years and how you're writing about them.

    The only advice I can give right now is to keep your eye on typos. There weren't any huge ones, but there were a lot of small ones. Mostly comma placements. Proof-read your chapters before you post, or you can ask for a beta reader to check them over for you. It's a step that, if taken, would help make your chapters read better. For example, towards the end of chapter one, the chapters weren't as numerous, and I didn't stumble over an unnecessary or missing piece of punctuation.

    Good luck, and I'm looking forward to more!

    The prologue begins now! Before you start to run
    Reach out with your hand and grab your freedom
    An absolute protagonist, a perfect hero...
    Sadly, these are things I'll never become

    Reply With Quote