View Single Post
  #41    
Old October 14th, 2012 (6:39 AM).
Vato Vato is offline
This Is Our Last Goodbye
     
    Join Date: Dec 2011
    Location: Juarez City, Mexico
    Age: 19
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Lonely
    Posts: 533
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Nineray View Post
    Name: Felix "Phoenix" Chance
    Well... the appearance and personality are just too short...

    And the backstory... I have said this over and over again by now xD
    It must make sense, how did he managed to live on his own two years? Yes he had his cousin, but what happened when his cousin wasn't there? For that matter, how did no one realize he was alone? At age 10?!

    He stopped talking to Laurel after he became a criminal... I'm assuming that either Laurel is a criminal or Phoenix becme one, whatever the case, you must explain how it happened.

    Also, how did Rowan knew who Phoenix is? It's not like he knows each and every trainer around, y'know? And, he wouldn't just... send a letter after surviving a catastrophe to some random teenager talking like he knew it was all going to happen...

    So, yeah, you need to fix that :3
    Also, I finished half of my double SU, if anyone wants to see what I've got so far :3
    __________________
    Hoenn


    FC [B2]: 0992 1015 0443
    VM/PM me whenever you feel like trading/kicking my butt on a battle