Thread: [Pokémon] Zanas's Fired Red Nuzlocke
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Old October 21st, 2012 (3:50 PM).
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darkpokeball darkpokeball is offline
Beware the Chainsaw Meowth 0.o
    Join Date: Feb 2010
    Location: In your nightmares
    Posts: 770
    Hello! I just read the prologue and it seems rather interesting so far. I have a few tips to make:
    “Mommy get up, you shouldn’t sleep on the chair like that.” Catherin yawns and manages a smile as she picks up her little boy, wrapping him up in her arms and holding him up to shoulder length.
    Put an 'E' after Catherine.
    "Well young man you shouldn’t be up this late anyway. But I appreciate your checking up on me.” She kisses his forehead and runs her finger through his hair. Arceus he needs a haircut soon.
    Add a comma before young and a comma after man.

    There's a few other things, but I'm too lazy. Anyways, cool story so far! I'll read Chapter 1 when I have more time.
    My Chainsaw Meowth is currently missing! If you have a lead or think you know something, PLEASE PM ME! I am desperately searching, and I dread the possibility that I may never find him...
    On a side note, if anybody can answer the following question right, then they get a mystery prize! *Must have a Gen V game to claim prize*
    Question: What the heck did Jinora do in the finale?! I don't get it! I know 90% of you won't know what I'm talking about, but I need an answer!
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