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Old November 4th, 2012 (4:14 AM). Edited November 4th, 2012 by stars.
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The Uncaged Wrath
  • Platinum Tier
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: TARDIS
Gender: Female
Nature: Naive
Posts: 28,540

Congratulations, you created the MOUNTAIN SPEW! It is a weapon of the same shape as DAD'S BAT but it is made of tin material, wears a Mountain Spew (!?) logo and if you swing it hard, the top of the bat will break up and spew out a flood of Mountain... Dew upon impact. Then it will magically close up, ready to spew once again.


I smile at Candice's message. She's a bit naive, isn't she? But kind. Oh well, those are good people to have around. If she even is around now. I have no idea if her snowy world and my oceanic world are even close to each other. Or Vieve's forest or Vinnie's desert for that matter.

"Young master, you should probably alchemize something before you go through your gate," my sprite says, looking like it has just finished crushing an imp to death without raising an eyebrow. How do I see that? Well, there is a couple of grist pieces on the floor behind him.

"Right. Come again?"

LEGOFOOTSPRITE impatiently but calmly at the same time explains to me the concept of alchemizing and how to use the alchemiter, totem lathe and cruxtruder when I actually know what I'm doing. I still don't really know what I'm doing when I turn the handle to extract a few dowels of cruxite and bring them up to the totem lathe. And then I realize that I should captchalogue some stuff to use the punch designix. Looking around, I feel clueless about what to choose. The polo mallet is an obvious thing to upgrade. I sneak out into the garden, which is quite the achievement as mom's servants have started patrolling the corridors. The upside is that they seem to have gotten rid of those imps running around. Apparently, more spawn every second though, as I turn around in a corridor to find one sneering at me where nothing at all stood one second ago. We spend a minute in a frightful but merry chase, until a patrolling cook finds us and smashes the imp to death with his frying pan. I take the opportunity to escape outdoors.

Part of my garden seemed to follow us to this world. The lawn ends with crashing waves from an ocean who's horizon is a blurry line far away. The sky is fairly gray from clouds and the waves aren't exactly calm. I walk down the alley in front of the large house, the one that is lined with plants shaped like animals. An idea strikes me and I take some thorns from one of the plants. They are quite large, but I take some small ones too, because I'm not sure what to do with them yet.

That's when I feel the ground beneath me rumbling. The water near the lawn's edge seems to be boiling all of a sudden... and then a monster's head comes up. It's a basilisk underling with a neck at least five times longer than my sprite's neck and the necks of the imps. Speaking of which, some imps who were on their way to sneak up on me before this, thinking that I couldn't see them, now stop in their tracks and run for cover as if they were afraid of this new sea monster. Aren't they allies? I decide to not wait around to find out more, but make a dash for the house as the long necked basilisk starts climbing ashore with a hissing noise and a terrifying smile.

Just inside the door, two servants are trying to fend off a very irritated LEGOFOOTSPRITE. "Please, sirs, I'm only trying to keep an eye on your young master so that you won't have to bother with him. Oh, young master," he adds when he sees me. He doesn't look directly at me though, but rather towards the other end of the hall. The servants look that way and don't understand why I'm not there. Legofootsprite waves his long front leg at me to signal that I should sneak past them now. I do so and give him a thumbs up on the way. Maybe he isn't that dumb an ally after all.

I come into one of our fine living rooms, where two maids are in the process of fending off some imps by throwing lit match sticks onto them. They fizz when they hit and annoy the imps but don't do much in weakening them. I sigh and take out my polo bat. Whistling, I gain the attention of the imps and then pretend that they are unusually ugly polo balls... or perhaps my opponents in said game. And for once, I'm allowed to beat them for real. One of them manage to scratch my left arm, making a rift in my shirt. But soon they are turned into grist and gathered by yours truly. The maids stare at me with jaws dropped.

"I'll just be taking these. Go and do something productive instead of using your ridiculously bad fighting skills!" I shout at them to wake them up from their daze, while I take the box of match sticks from them, captchaloguing it.

I finally reach the punch designix in my room again. Legofootsprite waits for me there, looking grumpy since he had to flee from the servants at the entrance. But he explains how I should go about doing this. I type in the codes of my polo mallet, the batch of thorns and the matchbox. Then I think again and take out one single matchstick, lighting it up. I use my third pink sylladex card to captchalogue the burning stick, typing the code on its backside into the designix as well. And just for the heck of it, I captchalogue the fourth sylladex card into the fifth one and type in its code as well: 000000. Heh. I get four new red cards out from the punch machine. Then the sprite directs me back to the totem lathe. There I have to suddenly think again. But it's ok. I'm good at thinking.

I first make a totem from combining the polo mallet with the thorns. Then another totem with polo mallet + lit matchstick. Then I just make a totem from the sylladex card's red card. It looks awfully plain. Nevertheless, it would be neat if it worked. I could carry more things in my sylladex with more cards!

The alchemiter is in the middle of my room so I go back in there only to find that another imp has materialized there. Legofootsprite pushes it out through a window and we both watch it soar down and hit the ground below, exploding into a couple of grist pieces. Then we look up and see what is on its way to us from the ocean. More bubbling and waves come up and now there are not one but four, FOUR, basilisks crawling through my garden. This is outrageous. There is also that weird rumbling still, and I can hear some servants scream from the other side of the garden, where I can't see from my windows.

"**** is going down," I mumble.

"Indeed, jerk," Legofootsprite says, astonishing me. "What? I'm not programmed to be polite, I've just chosen to be so far. Let's just get on with it now before I have to save you again."

I decide not to grace him with a comment and place the totems in turns on the alchemiter. The first thing I create is the POINTYTHINGY. Don't ask me how I know its name. I think it's got something to do with the construct of SBURB... making us strangely meta while we are inside SBURB's world. Maybe. Anyways, the Pointythingy seems to be a polo mallet covered in thorns all over. The two sides of the mallet's head are made up of two large, very pointy thorns. This is obviously a very lethal weapon! Unfortunately, the handle as well is covered by thorns. Stupid thing. I'll have to alchemize some kind of glove that allows me to hold it without making a massacre out of my own hands.

The next thing I create is the FLAREBONKER, which is the matchstick+polo mallet. Since the matchstick was only lit in one end, only the head of the mallet is on fire now. And it doesn't seem to be distinguishable! Awesome. Maybe a bit dangerous in crowded situations, but hey, flaming weapons are awesome. Surely lethal if used smartly.

Then I alchemize five new sylladex cards. No need to go overboard, but now I have ten spaces in my sylladex and I think that'll be useful. I look around my room and find a glove that I use when playing polo. That'll do, if I can find something to alchemize it with that can withstand small thorns... hm, something made of metal? I captchalogue a bronze medal that I won in some polo competition that seemed to be ages ago now. Getting their red cards from the designix and mixing them to create a totem, I proceed to alchemize the LOSERGLOVES. That's not a fitting name. I came in third place, that didn't mean that I lost! Anyways, they are my gloves but in a semi-bendable bronze material. Perfect. I can now handle the Pointythingy without trouble!

I put the Pointythingy and Flarebonker in my green wallet. I now seem to have three weapons to choose from, but still only mallets. Fair enough. It's not like I need other kinds of weapon with these awesome things. I keep the Losergloves on. They look cool and could provide some general protection, at least until I need to do something delicate with my hands. Like now, when I decide to write to Candice. Typically.
-- babelsEngineer began pestering archaicMiracle --
BE: Hey! Look at my sweet gear!
BE: THAT'S how you alchemize, baby.
Ugh, I sound like Vinnie, don't I?
BE: So anyways. I'm getting invaded by sea monsters here that I doubt even my faithful, eh, servants can handle.
BE: So I'm gonna climb up on top of the building and see if I can see that gate that Legofootsprite mentioned.
BE: Wanna build up? I put some cool stairs on top of Vieve's house. Maybe something like that could work on mine too?


Of course he could help you! Maybe. If he had time. But that was likely unintentional, yeah. He's caring more about his own clientship than being your server now, it seems. Anyways, you have a clear path up to your first gate. Will you be the first player to pass through it and flee the horrible imps that start flooding your foresty place, or will you hurriedly alchemize something before you leave?

on demoted leave of absence