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Old December 5th, 2012 (12:57 AM).
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Astinus Astinus is offline
Remember NovEnder
    Join Date: May 2006
    Location: Connecticut, USA
    Age: 30
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 9,980
    Well this is interesting. I'm always ready to review Let's Plays, and it's interesting to see one start of more like a fanfiction than an Let's Play. Depending on how this goes, though, it might get moved over to the Let's Play subforum. Right now, though, it can stay since it's more like a fanfic.

    First, some small grammar things:

    I've spend my last 16 years of existence studying Pokemon

    My Mother feels the same way I do about my dream
    That should be lower-cased, since you're not using it in place of her name.

    There's not really much to say about the rest of this. Your character at least gives a reason for writing a journal. And his characterization is starting to come through in the writing. Since he sees Mr. Pokemon as a "fruit" and forgetting exactly what Elm asked him to do, he has a real attitude to him! Looking forward to seeing how he reacts to the rest of Johto and its interesting characters.

    And yay, you're doing a purple mono-color challenge. I hope that means I can see one of my favorite Pokemon, Nidoking!
    Now nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody speaks my name
    I'm just another blister in the mouth of shame
    A bug in Ender's Game

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