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Old December 23rd, 2012 (6:43 AM).
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Xlugon Pyro Xlugon Pyro is offline
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    Join Date: May 2007
    Location: Wisconsin
    Gender: Male
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    Posts: 307
    Originally Posted by gimmepie View Post
    I'll make it as much more detailed as I can, but I was pretty clear on why he left the Grand Line... I'm not sure what else I could say to clear that up for you...

    Edit: SU has been fixed up, I'm not really sure what else I can add in but if there are any specific details you feel I need to add let me know.
    You specified he left his island on the Grand Line and that he decided to avoid the Grand Line but not exactly how he left, but I suppose it's implied that he left then.

    Your background is where work is needed most as it's a bit short and doesn't explain much about how he grew up, how his view of the world had evolved, etc. Marines are also probably more likely to just dock on the island and trade with the people there for their resources, but they can still be corrupt in their interactions with the people of Loka, but they wont act like pirates most of the time.

    If you can fix that up, you'll be good to go.

    Originally Posted by Lilizuki View Post
    @Pyro: I just tried to fix it some by taking out formatting, but no luck was to be found. D: Dunno what's wrong there.

    Also, Sov probably knows how to make a nutritious meal, thanks to her time in the temple. But, that doesn't necessarily mean tasty and I imagine she's gonna be busy...Academying.
    That's weird. Well I'll have to read over it again and the PM about her past beyond that point to remember her background more thoroughly, but your second half is approved.
    My posts look too short, so I'm going to misguide the general public and artificially enhance the length of my posts with this garbage of a signature!



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