Thread: [Pokémon] Choiced (T)
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Old January 13th, 2013 (8:39 PM).
EthyG EthyG is offline
Idk what to write here x3~~~
    Join Date: Feb 2012
    Location: Earth :3.
    Age: 22
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Hasty
    Posts: 11
    hey peeps; literary critique or anything of that sort is super-appreciated . just wanna know if other peeps like this stuff or not~

    chapter four: intimidated

    *warning: there's the use of (the equivalent of) the F word, and there's a little allusion to seduction somewhere in there, so viewer discretion is advised.

    Noisy walked down the aisles of the police office, greeting each officer at their respective table. She made her way to the table which was enclosed in four glass walls; this was Crimson’s table.

    Stepping inside the room, she saw so many things which she had seen so many times; some of them hadn’t moved since the last time she stepped in. There was a huge poster of the ranks in the force, thrown onto the floor and left untouched, a picture of every officer in the force, captioned “My Family”, and a huge basket of candy. Yes, candy. The only other thing, not named alcohol, which turned his gears of life.

    Noisy hovered over the table – something which the Hoppip evolutionary line was made to do, and went for the phone. Having Crimson break off from work early wasn’t an unfamiliar sight, but Noisy knew that Rocky was the sole cause of it. It seemed as if every conversation Rocky and Crimson had would be one which involved throwing insults at Crimson, leaving him at a rather vulnerable state.

    Noisy dialed the six numbers which were already familiar to her.

    “Hello Chief? Yeah, Crimson’s gone and knocked himself out agai-“ Noisy paused in the middle of her sentence. Strange. Magnezone would have said something interesting by now. “Excuse me, is there anyone there?”

    Of course there wasn’t. Magnezone had abruptly retired.

    “Dang it,” Noisy cursed, as she put the phone down.

    But just as she put the phone down, it rang again. The little display screen on the phone showed the Chief table’s number. Noisy instantly picked it up.

    “Good evening, Chief!” she said cheerfully.

    There was no response.

    “Erm…good evening, Chief?”

    There was still no response. But it was from the Chief’s table, so it must have meant something. In any case, she’d have to report that Crimson was taking leave.

    “Inspector Crimson has…just drank past his limits. Again. Yep, nothing new.”

    Suddenly, the receiving end was dropped, and Noisy was left really confused.


    “Play time, cons! Get out there to the field now!”

    Recreation time. Some convicts thought of it as an opportunity to escape, since the field was in the open; if you wanted to escape, you could just call a ride over, climb over a puny fence, and you’d be out. Then came the bigger problem; A signal would sound and there’d be a police battalion strolling over to intercept you, and you’d be thrown into an isolated cell for a while. And isolated cells were really boring; you wouldn’t want to end up there.

    Ethereal and Frenzy were having a nice long chat, albeit a slightly one-sided one, when the gate opened and they were forced to suspend their conversation for a while. The convicts lined up in a single file and walked out into the field.

    “Remember the golden rule, cons! If you attack anyone else, be it officer or con, you will be sent into isolation!”

    Frenzy gnarled. “Poocheyena.”

    “Whoa, fluffball,” Ethereal said. “If they caught you cursing, they’d do something.”


    “Well, I don’t know. I don’t wanna try either.”

    The two of them walked out into the recreation area.

    “So, where are you headed for?” Frenzy asked.

    Ethereal cheekily chuckled. “Wherever you’re going,” she said.

    “…I don’t really know where I’m going. You know what? I’m going to go back and catch some sleep.”

    “Oh. All good. I’ll go practice some Blizza-“

    She caught sight of something which didn’t please her too much.

    “Hang on, furball. Let me settle this.”

    She dashed over to a corner, leaving Frenzy behind.

    Frenzy shrugged his shoulders and followed Ethereal to that corner.


    “Excuse me, peep,” Ethereal said, sternly.

    A Rhyperior was having a nice time keeping a Porygon-Z in the air, and the poor creature didn’t feel like fighting back. Apparently, the guards were asleep right now.

    He put the Porygon-Z down, tilting his head downwards to make eye contact with Ethereal.

    “Whoa, who’s talking big here?”

    “I suggest you put that guy down now.”

    The Rhyperior turned his head to Frenzy, and Frenzy jumped slightly at his intimidating gaze.

    “Erm…yes! Put that guy down!” he said, out of no particular reason.

    The Rhyperior laughed.

    “Your boy?” he asked Ethereal.

    “What are you talking about?” Ethereal replied, gnarling.

    “You’ve chosen a lousy boy this time, you know?”

    Ethereal looked at Frenzy. Frenzy shrugged his shoulders, saying, “I’m okay with that” in the most casual manner possible.

    Ethereal swung her head back, and was now glaring at Rhyperior again.

    “You know, Plutonium,” the Rhyperior said. “I remember you so well.”

    “It’s Ethereal, damn you. And I think you should really spend your time on something more productive.”

    Frenzy tapped Ethereal. “I thought…we weren’t supposed to swear or something?”

    “’Damn’ isn’t a bad word.”

    The Rhyperior turned around, and showed off the two golden stubs on both of his arms. Ethereal reclined in shock.


    “Yes, you radioactive Jynx. Big Bubblegum is back.”

    Ethereal growled. “What did you just call me?!”

    The Rhyperior stomped on the floor, grinning maliciously. “Radioactive. Jynx.”

    Ethereal stood stuck at her position for a few seconds. Then, she snarled at Bubblegum, a thick icy mist suddenly forming around her.

    “You muk-king hunk of junk! Taste my-“


    Frenzy was already crouching; he was probably slightly intimidated by Ethereal’s rage.

    “You…can’t say that ‘Muk’ isn’t a bad word…” he stuttered, then continued, “…especially in that context…right?”

    “Shut up, furball!” she snapped.

    Suddenly, the anger seemed to dissipate. The icy mist around her faded.

    “I…I didn’t mean that…” she muttered.

    “Well, I’ll get busy having fun with this little toy then! Have fun crying in your cell!” Bubblegum said, laughing.

    Frenzy stood in his battling stance. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ethy’s a lot stronger than you thi-“

    No, she wasn’t. She was already in tears. She let her tears fall freely, subsequently letting her words fly freely as well.

    “Is your heart made out of stone or something?! Do you actually think about anyone before you do Muk-king anything?!” She blared at Bubblegum.

    Frenzy turned around, looking at the guard. He was asleep. Thank Arceus.

    “You don’t actually give a damn, right?! Well, have fun getting stuck in prison, you tyrant!”

    Ethereal swung her head, and a shard of ice suddenly flew outwards, striking Bubblegum in his right cheek; it smashed with a heavy impact, blasting so hard that Bubblegum’s head was, almost literally, slapped to the left.

    She turned the full turn and headed for her cell at full speed, tears freezing the ground as she ran.

    Frenzy looked backwards, and saw that Ethereal had already disappeared out of the field.

    “Well, congratulations, you Muk. You just pissed her off,” Frenzy said, sternly.

    “So what? All you did was be a little Purrloin through it all.”

    Frenzy chuckled. Suddenly, his eyes flashed, and he let out a roar so loud that the field was silenced for a second. It was his Intimidate coming into effect; he’d only pull it off when it was actually necessary. Now was one of those times.

    The guard was instantly woken up, but he quickly returned to sleep. Yes, the city police force contained some rather lazy workers. Perhaps it was just because the guard happened to be a Snorlax. He was only useful when awake, but that didn’t happen too often.

    Bubblegum shielded his face in fear. “W-whoa, take it easy!”

    Frenzy grinned, letting his fangs protrude outwards.

    “Who’s the Purrloin now?”

    “W-what?! Not m-me, I’m not s-s-scared!!” Bubblegum stuttered.

    A crowd was now gathering around the two, or rather, three of them. The poor Porygon-Z never said anything through the entire event; then again, the Porygon evolutionary line never spoke. They could transmit their thoughts to machines and stuff, but that was about all.

    Bubblegum looked around, and he cringed in fear. Blatant, blunt fear.

    “Argh…Rock Wrecker!!!”

    Bubblegum channeled energy through his two arms, and a stone formed out of pure energy was conjured up in between those arms. He threw the stone towards Frenzy at a high speed.


    Frenzy cloaked one of his paws in energy, and with one clean attack, the Rock Wrecker was smashed.

    “W-what?! Impossible!”

    “You’re too scared to give your best, right?”

    Bubblegum panted heavily from the Rock Wrecker attack; it drained so much of his energy that it became necessary to try to recharge it. Through his panting, everyone saw that he was shivering. From fear.

    He was so much more than intimidated.

    Frenzy grinned maliciously, causing Bubblegum to jump slightly. Then, he shut his eyes for a moment, letting the lust of battle drain out of him.

    “Well, I’ll go comfort my Ethy now,” he said, calm once again.

    Suddenly, voices shot out from the crowd.

    “Wait, Ethy’s back?”

    “Arceus, Ethy!”

    “Gawsh, gotta meet her!”


    A bunch of cons followed Frenzy inside to his cell; Ethereal was busy hiding at a corner. Hopefully, she was done with her tears.

    The cell door opened, drawing Ethereal’s attention to Frenzy. She took a glimpse at the cons behind Frenzy.

    “Furball,” she said, a slight stutter in her voice. “Why did you bring these peeps in?”

    “I mentioned your name.”

    “Sweet Arceus.”

    Ethereal got up, and Frenzy walked up to her. The other cons stayed outside the cell; they would receive bad stuff from that sleeping Snorlax, in some way or another, if they went in. Prisoners weren’t allowed into each others’ cells, for obvious reasons.

    “So, you feeling better?”

    “I guess so.”

    “Don’t worry, I schooled that Rhyperior.”

    Ethereal’s eyes widened. Then, they returned to slits.

    “No, you shouldn’t have…it was my fault.”

    “How was this your fault?”

    “Well…I’m a sensitive poke. Forgive me for that.”

    Frenzy patted Ethereal.

    “You’re a Scarfer, remember? Compassion?”

    Ethereal smiled. “Yeah, guess so.”

    They hugged each other, as the cons sighed. Suddenly, a thought struck Frenzy.

    “Wait…that thing which Bubblegum called you…Jynx, was it?”

    “Radioactive Jynx. Radioactive is a reference to my old name, Plutonium. I changed it after big Hydra suggested it that night.”

    “Who’s Hydra?”

    Frenzy turned around to see that one of the cons was a Hydreigon. He was waving his hands wildly.

    Ethereal then continued, “Jynx is a reference to-“

    “No, wait. Wait a second. Don’t tell me.”

    Frenzy looked back.

    The cons who followed him were all guys.

    He rolled his eyes, a strange feeling creeping up to him.

    “Oh my...”

    “Well, that’s actually how I got out of prison the first time,” Ethereal said, shamelessly. “They expelled me.”


    Crimson was called into the prison for some emergency case. A Rhyperior named Bubblegum was whacking away at his cell wall, apparently crying; something that seemed uncharacteristic of a prisoner. The psychiatrist of the prison got a little too scared – intimidated, rather, to try to talk to that Rhyperior. Crimson functioned as a psychiatrist very rarely, because he was nowhere as good as the one they had, but unlike her, he could fight back in the event where the prisoners got violent.

    The very few times where Crimson took the role of psychiatrist involved him scaring – intimidating, rather, the prisoners so much that they didn’t even try to fight back. The first thing you’d see from him was the Choice Specs; taking an Eruption with that in play wasn’t easy. For those who resisted the Eruption, there were always other slightly less painful ways to get slammed.

    When Crimson appeared in front of Bubblegum’s cell, he found the huge creature using his huge arms to slam on the impenetrable walls, the impenetrable ceiling, and even himself. It was a hilarious scene, but the atmosphere in the prison just didn’t allow that kind of humour. Bubblegum never realised that he was being watched until Crimson knocked on the door.

    Bubblegum hastily turned around, revealing a pool of tears in that little corner he was standing at; literally, a pool of tears.

    “Oh My Arceus,” Crimson said, a little too loudly.

    Bubblegum sighed, trying to hold back his tears. Crimson noticed how he was shaking, possibly in fear.

    “Great…you’ve…seen me in this state…”

    Crimson was slightly shocked. Normally, the prisoners who he had to council would be reeling in fear because they didn’t want to get attacked by him, but this time, the intimidating job was already done.

    Bubblegum whacked himself right in the face; Crimson wondered if he even felt anything from that, but it became apparent that he didn’t.

    “I-I-I…don’t even know what…I’m…saying…”

    Crimson’s heart softened. This guy was afraid.

    Almost instinctively, he reached for his head, took off the pair of Choice Specs, returning it to a pocket in his uniform where the Specs stayed most of the time.

    “Alright, buddy. I’m clean. I’m not going to hit you.”

    He then turned off his fire, practically removing his source of power and preventing him from using any attacks.

    Bubblegum sniffed, soaking up a tear. He deftly walked to the door and opened it for Crimson.

    Crimson politely walked in.

    “Right peep, I’m going to need you to be extremely ho-“

    The Rhyperior was already starting to reel in fear.

    He couldn’t do this the same way he was taught to do these conversations.

    “Tell you what, let’s sit first, kay? Get on your bed.”

    Bubblegum did as he was told, then realised that Crimson had nowhere to sit.

    “Crimson…I m-mean…” he looked at Crimson’s beret, then continued, “I-Inspector…you’ll stand?”

    Crimson smiled. “Nope, I’ll sit.”

    He sat on the floor, giving Bubblegum a little shock. He stammered for a while, trying to talk, but ended up bursting into tears. Just like a little Purrloin in some ways.

    “Whoa man, hold yourself. Hold…” Crimson said, standing up and patting Bubblegum on the back.

    “I don’t get it! I don’t Muk-king get it! What’s wrong with you Choicers?! Why is it that you’re so amazing?!”

    The Snorlax turned his head towards Bubblegum’s cell at the sound of the word “Muk”, but saw an Inspector there. He decided to leave the dirty work to the Inspector.

    Crimson gave the Rhyperior another pat.

    “Shh…stay cool.”

    “You’re just like Ethy and her boy! I don’t get it!”

    Crimson’s eyes widened. “Ethy and her boy” must have done something. Something that made this guy in tears and confined to his cell.

    “Please, if it helps, explain.”

    Bubblegum looked at Crimson, who was now sitting beside him, teary-eyed.

    He took a few deep breaths, and calmed himself down. Crimson saw a faint smile appearing.

    “Ethy’s a crybaby. She gets hurt so easily that it's annoying.”

    Crimson wanted to challenge him, but there was no lie in that; Ethereal was a little viscous.

    “Ethy’s boy is dumb. He just doesn’t know how to act properly in front of people.”

    That one didn’t really make sense.

    “Wait, justify the ‘dumb’ part.”

    “When I told Ethy that she chose a lousy boy, he said, ‘I’m okay with that’. What’s his problem?”

    “Oh, it’s his way of being sarcastic.”

    “He’s also a little bit of a freak; that’s about all he said while I was talking to Ethy,” he paused, then continued with a more sarcastic tone, “other than the times he was insisting that she had to follow the rules.”

    Yep, that qualified for a freak.

    “And you…” he said, sighing, “…you’re a police officer. But you don’t act like one.”

    Crimson blushed slightly. “Yes, I have trouble taking things seriously at times.”

    “Well, you admitted it.”

    There was a dramatic pause. Then, Crimson decided that he had to speak.

    “You know, you shouldn’t critici-“

    Bubblegum smiled. “I was getting to that part.”

    “Wow, am I that predictable?”

    “Yes. Yes you are.”

    Crimson laughed.

    Bubblegum paused for a second, then said,

    “Ethy is a sweetie. She cares so much for others, even if they don’t mean anything to her. Just now, I was…bullying this Porygon-Z. She stepped in to help. I’ve seen her five years ago, but that Z wasn’t there was she first came in. She didn’t know that guy. And yet she tried to talk back to me.”

    Bubblegum then chuckled, continuing, “I guess that’s why she has the boys on her side. A beautiful girl isn’t too hard to come across, but one like her…is impossible to find anywhere else. Sure, she’s a bit of a Jynx, but with a heart like that, no one cares.”

    Crimson nodded.

    “Her boy is a freak, but he’s got so much self-control under all of that. He acted so dumb, until I got Ethereal running. That was when he stepped in. He knew when to step in. That, and he controlled his rage so well, and it only came out when Ethy started crying. It’s as if he’s Ethy’s pet. It’s the Band. Only a wielder of the Band carries fierce loyalty like that.”

    Crimson nodded again.

    “And you. Sure, you’re a bit of a joke, and I’ve heard Volcarona talking about you so many times. That’s why I never really looked up to you…until today. I never believed that you could be a Choicer, but I’ve just seen it. You stood through my harsh words and stupid actions. You never tried to lunge out at me for criticising you, and being a jerk in general.”

    Crimson raised an eyebrow. “Whoa, you were testing me?”

    “Not really. I was a little…unstable. So yeah, apologies, Inspector.”

    “No sweat.”

    Bubblegum chuckled. “I guess only some people get to be Choicers. And yeah.”

    Crimson smiled. “Yeah. Guess so.”

    He thought for a while, then tried to speak, but got interrupted before he could start.

    “You’re going to ask how I know about this Choice stuff, right?”

    Crimson laughed. It was true.

    “Yeah, figured,” Bubblegum said. “You’re like a kid in many ways; that’s a good thing, I guess.”

    He continued, “Prisoners aren’t dumb.”


    When Crimson appeared in front of Ethereal and Frenzy’s cell, the door was instantly opened, and the two convicts welcomed him in with open arms.

    The first thing Frenzy said was, “You just talked to that Rhyperior, right?”

    “How did you know?”

    “It’s in your face. You’ve got this twitchy expression which shows how you’re impressed at something; my best guess would be that Rhyperior told you the story.”

    Crimson rolled his eyes.

    Ethereal chuckled, “You’re predictable. I like it.”

    Crimson blushed. “Erm…thanks?” he said, scratching his head.

    He quickly gathered his thoughts.

    “Anyway, your trial is tomorrow. Wishing you good luck.”

    Ethereal nodded, then asked, “Are we going together? I wanna go together.”

    Frenzy shrugged his shoulders.

    “Well, I guess it’s okay, since you’ve got to know each other so well and stuff…”

    “Yay! Thanks, dragon!”

    Crimson smiled widely and shut the cell doors. He walked back to his office with a spring in his step, and got Noisy to call Judge Arceus, asking him for permission to let the two convicts trial together.

    The Judge agreed instantly; he was pretty agreeable to stupid ideas like this.

    Noisy never told him about the strange call that morning, as she thought that it wasn’t important enough.

    Crimson walked home on time for the first time in a long while. Volcarona must have taken leave for the day; it felt much better without her.

    once again, reviews/critiques are appreciated <3
    popping my head back in here for lit/art purposes .
    always open for random conversations and stupid convos though ;D!

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