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Old January 28th, 2013 (12:09 PM). Edited January 28th, 2013 by Alice.
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Alice Alice is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Oregon
Age: 25
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Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
Generally speaking, the best advice I can give for coming out (which I only did a few months back myself) is to make sure you actually do it yourself. Make sure you go to them rather than have them find out somehow. It feels so much better when you have the power and you decide how it comes out. If they find out and are forced to come to you, as happened with me, it will make you feel really invaded and gross, like somebody knows something they shouldn't. Then you don't get to really have that freeing feeling that coming out is meant to give you, and that sucks lol.
In my experience, coming out just sucks in general. I've done it 3.5 times now (Had to remind my mom once), and it's been a miserable experience each time. The first time I came out, my mom took it well enough, but still said she was going to pray for me, and hinted that it was disgusting, and she failed as a parent, etc. The second time, I stressed out and dwelled on it for weeks, and it just destroyed me. Finally telling him didn't make it feel any better either, although he took it well. The third time, I tried to explain it in detail to some friends online, and they responded with "I think you're confused." and proceeded to make fun of me, until I deleted the thread. Since then, I just don't care about what people think/know about me. If they ask I'll just say I'm bi, and leave everything else out. That said, I was way too invested in trying to find the perfect label for me, and was taking it way too seriously. I'm bi, whatever. Technically polysexual is more accurate, but no one knows what that means so there's just no point.

So my advice would be: It really just doesn't matter. Like, seriously. If you want to date someone, just do it. When your parents see it, just tell them that you're gay or trans or whatever and act like they're already supposed to know, that you're surprised that they don't, and that it's not a big deal. Otherwise, coming out is just pointless, and causes you a lot of stress.

Perhaps I'm just jaded after all that though. =/ I feel bad for saying that, because I don't want to scare people off, and make them think telling other people is a bad thing. What's important is that you just do what you want. No one else matters, and their opinions matter even less. (Unless we're talking about religious parents who could hurt/abandon you... in which case, it's probably best to just wait until you're on your own, or have a LOT of backup before they find out.)