Just Me Being Sarcastic About Pokemon (Pt. 1)
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February 2nd, 2013 (9:40 AM).
Ya'll Are Weird
Numbers 3 and 5 are the ones that seem the most questionable. At least games like EarthBound gave the cops a reason to be useless. In Pokemon, everyone is so bland anyway that it just doesn't make sense even from a sense of humor perspective. They couldn't act any more like stereotypical NPCs.
It's as if Pokemon is really just a terrible stage play (with really good special effects. Sounds like the recent entries of a certain franchise about a war taking place in the stars), and everybody in the town has a role, despite not everyone in the town being good at acting. When their part comes up, they just reguritate the lines that have been fed to them for weeks on end, and that's it. They're done. Now they can go home.
Seriously, I've never played a game with a more forgettable, bland bunch of people. God, even Pac-Man has a more exciting cast. The only characters that have any kind of soul to them are ironically the evil cult members of the game. After that is usually your rival. And then who cares. It's especially bad that the professor who usually sends you out on your journey (which seems oddly more for his benefit than for yours) is robotic to a fault. Some mentor. He must see these kids as dispensible. Heck, you're probably number 48 in a line of kids he sends out to do his dirty work by the time you get to him.
Maybe this has changed in recent games like Black/White. I'm really only speaking for gens 3 and prior, since that's all I've played. Even so, I still doubt things have changed all that much. NPCs I'm assuming are as one dimensional as ever. I'm sure it's no Mother 3.
As for Pokemon not knowing how to do what they're supposed to, game limitations, really, but it is sort of ridiculous. Maybe the Pokemon are just trying to spite you, or play stupid to make trainers rage or something, I dunno.
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