View Single Post
Old February 14th, 2013 (12:01 PM).
Cutlerine Cutlerine is offline
Gone. May or may not return.
    Join Date: Mar 2010
    Location: The Misspelled Cyrpt
    Age: 23
    Nature: Impish
    Posts: 1,030
    > Open the door. But take a chair for defence.

    Of all the strange ideas that have flitted through your head this morning, this is surely the best. Who cares about the fleshiness of that thump? Or the horror of that gibbering? Or the fact that a moment ago you were about half a second from shrieking in terror? You are a Pokémon Trainer, and Pokémon Trainers care not for danger. You spit in fate's eye and go teach golems to throw rocks at dragons. The very fact that you own a Skarmory, even if he's not currently with you, makes you more than badass enough to deal with whatever lies on the other side of that door.

    Still... As you heft the chair and creep over to the door – thump, goes the Unseen Thing – you do wonder whether or not this is the best course of action.


    Thump thump thump.

    Can the thing outside hear you? Is that why it's thumping more – to get your attention?

    You reach the door, but realise you can't open the door and hold the chair at the same time, given that the chair is rather large, and also because the door opens inwards. What if the Unseen Thing on the other side lunges through as soon as you open it? You'll have to get the chair from the floor at your side, swing it up and bash the Thing, all within a very short space of time.

    You're not sure you want to open the door after all. The Unseen Thing does not share your opinion, if the near-constant stream of meaty thumps is anything to go by.

    Well... You are a Pokémon Trainer, you remind yourself. The kind of guy who owns a fifteen-foot long cobra with the power to paralyse with a glance. The kind of guy who voluntarily wanders alone through horrendously dangerous mountain caves without a thought for any kind of safety.

    What's one Unseen Thing to you?

    You nod to yourself. That's right, you're the goddamn boss and that Thing out there needs to know it.

    “Chair, I choose you,” you mutter grimly to yourself, and wrench the door open.


    You know the phrase 'eldritch abomination'? And how you've never had anything to apply it to before?

    Yeah, now you have.

    The gibbering, hunchbacked beast on the door looks like the hellish result of an experiment wherein someone crossed a crocodile and a man and tried to melt the offspring; its flesh hangs off its body in rolls and loops, dragging on the ground as it moves. It starts with an unspeakable jagged head and ends in a broad flat tail, and as you stare, you see two dim, jaundiced eyes peer myopically out from under its sagging brow, registering that the door is now open. Its taloned hands, held curled under its spongy chest as if in prayer, twitch and begin to creep forwards.

    You're going to need a very good idea.

    You're going to need it now.

    For information about A Grand Day Out, a bizarre short story in video game form, click here.