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Old February 14th, 2013 (3:58 PM). Edited February 14th, 2013 by Gyardosamped.
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Gyardosamped Gyardosamped is offline
entering snake habitat
  • Crystal Tier
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Florida
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Lax
Posts: 1,464
Originally Posted by Buzz Buzz View Post
First of all, I wanted to say welcome to you, although I already said it to you through VM. :p

What I’m understanding from your posts is that you’re trying to sort of find “who you are” before what you consider to be more important things start entering into your life, like college, for example. In reality, though, everyone is different when it comes to finally appreciating themselves for who they are. I definitely don’t think you should rush things, especially with trying to find out who you truly are. I’m sort of confused with your posts, though, and don’t necessarily understand what you’re confused about. It seems as if you know you’re gay and are satisfied with that, which is a really good thing confidence-wise. Are you trying to find the courage to come out to your family/friends before college? Someone’s sexuality is a very private matter, and it’s something that should not be hurried. Go at your own pace. Growing up too fast is definitely not a good thing. Also, it seems as if you’ve really been pressured into “thinking about the future”, and although you really need to have plans when it comes to how you’re going to live, where you’re going to go school, etc., there’s no need to make any hasty decisions when it comes to your personal self. I know it feels like a heavy weight is put on your shoulders during the duration that you’re closeted, because I am also closeted and I also really want to find the courage to just “come out” already, but I definitely am not letting anyone or anything pressure me into making any decisions that I could potentially regret in the future until I feel it's time to make those decisions. When I feel it’s the right time, then that’s the time for me, but that’s different for everyone. Just because you’re entering college and possibly a new life without your parents/family for a while, doesn’t mean you have to hurry things.

What you’re feeling is normal, and it’s natural to feel confused, because, well, society has taught us that being anything but heterosexual is “incorrect”, and it really makes those that aren’t heterosexual feel as if we’re making all the wrong decisions. I really want to come out to my family, too. I want that burden lifted off of my shoulders like you do, too. Although I don’t necessarily want to tell the whole world, I want to be able to find the courage to tell people I’m gay without any hesitation, but that braveness hasn’t entered into me yet. If you rush things, it could potentially end bad and you’ll probably be a lot more confused than you were before, trust me. I also believe my family thinks I’m gay, too, and are just waiting for me to come to them to reassure their thoughts. It’s very difficult to hold back in the urges, too. Anywhere I see a male I like, it’s not necessarily easy to hold back in the thoughts, either.

Although this post didn’t really give any advice, I just wanted to make it clear that it’s completely fine to feel the way you’re feeling. Don’t grow up too fast. It’s not worth it in the end. Finding who we truly are takes time and it's part of being a human being. Finding who we want to be takes time. It’s not going to come to you in a day, a month or a year. Hell, it might even take decades, but that’s fine. I know you want to get that weight lifted off your shoulders, but don’t force things until you feel it’s the right time. If you think it’s the right time now, then just come out to your closest relatives and that’s it. The world doesn’t need to find out about your sexuality, and your friends don’t need to know for the moment, either, or ever if you don’t want them to. Yeah, you might be starting a new journey in your life soon, but you’re still young, and there’s still plenty of time to think things out. Don’t let college and new beginnings pressure you!

We’re all here for you. :]

*sorry for super long post omg dear Lord lol*