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Old February 14th, 2013 (5:08 PM).
Hann's Avatar
What's all the Buzz about...
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Belgium
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Nature: Lonely
Posts: 352
Originally Posted by Gyardosamped View Post
I’m sort of confused with your posts, though, and don’t necessarily understand what you’re confused about. It seems as if you know you’re gay and are satisfied with that, which is a really good thing confidence-wise.
First of all, thanks for the welcome and the hugs again

Sorry for the confuse-inducing posts. The reason why I seem so confident and confused at the same time is just me. I'm not very good with emotions in general and most of my confusion with my sexuality stems from a 'disability' to understand 'love'. (Not to say that I don't know what love is or don't recognize it, I just think it's a hard concept). I believe I've never been in love and while I don't think that's weird because as you pointed out I'm still young, it's something that made me think. (I also tend to think too much and generally make things more difficult than they are). As I said before I don't know what love is, so how do I know when I'm in love with someone? That's a question that's relatively easy to avoid, because I think a relationship starts with a mutual liking that will/should develop into love. No worrying about that anymore because starting a relationship is the first thing to worry about. (Sorry if I'm not making sense anymore, I'm almost giving myself a headache here).
I'm going to stop myself here, because if I go any further I think I'm going to be writing a book here so let's stick to the basics: love = difficult concept. Basically how can I know I'm gay if I don't know who I love or even who I like? And not knowing how you know that? (I like a few people, more than a few but I have no idea if I like-like them or just like them)

I thought about the terms asexual and aromantic for a while, but I believe they don't fit (here I go, labeling myself again ). No, I didn't mean to label myself, I just thought that they might make it a bit easier for me to explain, but they don't. I'm capable of romantic (and sexual, but I'm not going to mention that) feelings, but believe it or not: for a lot of people. (That makes me sound so ... weird) Well take my friend for example. She's a nice girl, (has a boyfriend) and I enjoy talking to her, hanging out with her (she is my friend, so quite obvious). Would I go on a date with her? Quite possibly, yes. Would I enjoy that date? Probably. Would I go on a second date? Well, why not? Would this situation ever occur? No. (At least, I don't think so) But (and I'm seriously going to be mortified if I'm the only one who thinks like this) replace her with any of my friends (or other people, not everyone) and I wouldn't mind. (And by date I mean drop of on the doorstep and kiss goodnight date cliché)

Man, I'm just going to blame the late hour for my ramblings. I meant to ease the confusion a bit, but I'm afraid I just made it worse. Well, at least you've got some hugs back from me and my sincerest apologies for the headache you might get.

Well, one last thing maybe. I've never met anyone who has the same thoughts about love (or really anything) as I do and I'm not exactly confident about everything I've written here, so excuse me for being so vague in explaining myself (or trying to), but I've never dared to before and I haven't exactly proofread any of this.
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