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Old May 12th, 2013 (8:48 PM). Edited May 13th, 2013 by Inkblots.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Canada
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Nature: Calm
Posts: 175
Originally Posted by Fenneking View Post
Wow, great. Thanks for sharing.

I can't imagine what life would be like. If I would feel out of place or rather if I would feel less pressure or less controlled by romantic or sexual feelings. Probably a little of both...For me, I get the worst of both, feeling out of place AND all those intense romantic/sexual feelings that help us make terrible decisions! haha.

Aromantic, huh? Oohh, this makes this so much more interesting that it already was. Basically, you would be looking for best friend(s) to supplement partners as a very superficial way to sum things up. Though, now I am wondering, do asexual/aromantic people have any sort of physical relationship with anyone usually, even if not monogamous? I mean they still have all of the physiological responses to certain stimuli (my way of word sanitation).

Disclaimer, I have very little knowledge about the many sexual minorities among the sexual minorities. So bear with me :p
A little of both is definitely the best way to put it. I've been lucky in not having to deal with ignorant people directly, but I do feel excluded (and a little resentful) when I hear people talking as though every single person must find a mate of some sort in order to be "real" or "whole", and treat romantic love as the most important or "powerful" thing in the world. On the flip side, I am glad I don't have to deal with a lot of the relationship crap other people do, though I wonder if part of my intense dislike for it is that I don't understand why people go to all the trouble they do. It's kind of like, imagine you were plunked down on an alien world where colour is very important. All the aliens can see a colour that humans can't see, and that colour is the most important one of them all. You can understand that it exists, that it's located at this spot on the radiation spectrum, that these objects reflect that colour, and that the aliens describe it like this... but you still can't see the colour, and you still can't imagine what it might look like, and no matter how many times they try to explain, you still can't understand why it's so important or why they will do just about anything to own something that is that colour.

Looking for best friends is a good way to put it as far as physical intimacy, yes, some asexual/aromanic people do look for physical relationships, but as far as I can tell, it's not the norm, and I'm not sure what those relationships might look like for those who do seek them out (though I imagine they tend to be a non-monogamous friends-with-benefits type). I can't speak to actual numbers, but most seem to prefer to take care of any "urges" they may have (which usually seem to be less frequent and/or less intense than those of sexual people, at least from what I've gathered) on their own, rather than with a partner. A lot of aces are completely disinterested in having sex, if not somewhat disgusted by it (even if they aren't bothered by other people having sex). Speaking for myself, I can definitely say that there is very little that weirds me out more than the thought of having sex - particularly if it's with a specific person. And the better I know the person, the weirder it is to think about. I don't care if other people want to have sex, I just don't want to hear about it, haha.

(also, I have no problems with you, or anyone, asking as many questions as you want so don't worry about that.)