Thread: [Idea] Pokemon Morning/Night
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  #34    
Old June 2nd, 2013 (12:20 AM).
ppooookkkkkkk ppooookkkkkkk is offline
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    Join Date: May 2012
    Location: Newbud town (Pokemon Morning/Night)
    Age: 16
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Gentle
    Posts: 229
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by IceGod64 View Post
    Alright, this is looking a lot better than before. Some of the sprites could use tweaking, but the grammar is much better.

    Here are a few things that could use adjustment:

    "Maple: I was out of the region for my studies, when your family shifted here."
    "shifted" may be technically correct, but I would say "moved" instead.

    "Is there something you want to tell me dear?"
    There's a continuation, add a comma after "me".

    "I heard some strange people talking about Lunar and Solar energy, When I was on my..."
    The comma doesn't belong there, because it's in the middle of a though that's ongoing, not at a pause. "When" also should not be be capitalized, as it is not a new sentence.

    "Halt!
    I'm stoping everyone from harvesting the..."
    Misspelled "stopping". Two p's.

    Hope this helps!
    Why thank you! I will correct those mistakes as soon as possible.

    About the sprites, yeah I'm trying to make them more attractive and better as I proceed.