Thread: [Pokémon] The Tale of a Wanderer
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Old July 12th, 2013 (6:59 PM). Edited July 12th, 2013 by Cosmic Fury.
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Cosmic Fury Cosmic Fury is offline
Evil Overlord
  • Platinum Tier
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Someplace unimaginable
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Nature: Mild
Posts: 395
Thanks for reviewing! This part of the story was rather meant to go by rather quickly. I had originally had the chapters written down much differently, and I had to spend a long time getting rid of useless parts that didn't move the plot forward -- and I may have been just a bit overzealous in the endeavor.

The rest I'll put in spoilers so that it doesn't get in the way.

As for how Dragonite's situation went down, I wanted to impress the fact that some things in life are incredibly sudden. But you're right in the fact that he went down pretty quickly -- due largely to the fact that I was more focused on pace at this particular part of the story over its description, as I didn't want to bog things down. However, I might go back and edit it so that we know how he goes, instead of it just going.

As for the laboratory, I'll definitely be going back and giving that part of the chapter some love. However, it's a massive place, and I honestly feel that the main part that needs description is the one where the scene starts, as well as the emotions the Typhlosion is going through at the end.

Otherwise, the fast pace of the fight is the way I more or less intended things to run right to when the scene transfers from Robb to his Pokemon (at the end). Perhaps I'll go back and change it up to where the description is more stressed where I mentioned it at. Thanks for the tips!

Chapter Two will be up very soon!
The Tale of a Wanderer -- Reboot coming in the future

Main Game: OmegaRuby
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