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Old August 2nd, 2013 (8:39 AM).
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Esper Esper is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: California
Posts: 10,703
Originally Posted by TéaQQ View Post
It's always hard coming to terms with things when you feel like you can't talk about them with anyone. We all get worried that people won't accept us and it holds us back from making those connections to good and understanding people who can support us. I'm glad you're feeling better and have the opportunity to talk with a therapist.

Originally Posted by GreatTornado View Post
Well my first time of being outed, I guess it had to happen...

To copy and paste from the empty closets thread:

I'm going to try and explain this the best I can and if you need any further insight into something just let me know.

So today I figured out I was outed. K is my friend that knows I'm gay(Female), H is my friend that I've been outed to(Male).

K and H are currently 'going out' with each other and I guess this is what lead to me being outed. This morning we were mucking around as usual and H said 'CF' which is what set off the alarm bells. 'CF' is the initials of someone I like and he quickly tried to cover it as 'capture the flag without the 't'' but luckily I knew better. I pulled K away and said "Did you tell him?" and she said "Yes" I still can't believe it. I trusted her and she betrayed my trust. I told her this and she got on the defensive. She said that I wouldn't be reacting like this if we were 'true friends' and I said that has nothing to do with it since she betrayed my trust. I haven't talked to H about this yet but I guess I'll have to eventually. It's even worse because I was starting to come out but now I feel like I sprint jumped back into the closet. Now I regret telling her because probably 90% of my coming outs are going to be her fault. It's even worse that I told her to I like and now H knows. I think I might have to lie and say that I don't like CF because I think H is going to go tell my other friends and get both me and CF embarrassed...

My initial reaction to your story is to think that you shouldn't lie. It's not going to feel good to think that someone else has control over you like that. What I mean is, you can't change what's already happened, so maybe you should embrace it. Be the one who comes out to people instead of letting other people do it for you, possibly under circumstances that you'd rather not see.

Of course, this isn't just coming out, but admitting that you like someone so that complicates things. But, you know, there's nothing to be ashamed of in being gay and liking someone. Maybe you can talk with H and get him to understand that this is your thing to do and that he should be a good friend and let you do that when you're ready.