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Eyes of the Ghost

Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
Table of Contents:
Eyes of the Ghost - this post
This Me
Sunset Morning
The Face That Isn't There
Fade
In the Garden of the Burning Rose
Parting Gift
Parting Gift II
The Voiceless Eve
Sunderance
Candlelight Breath
The Willow Tree
A Phantom's Asylum
Castle of Ruins
In Loving Memory
With Wings of Lead
Breath of Fire (The Chess Piece)
O Sweet Tormentor
Darkness
Part 1: Realization
Part 2: Angelic

Eyes of the Ghost
Spoiler:
 
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
Well, at least some people read it, or accidentaly click on it. I thought I might post two of my other poems here. I don't think they're better than the one above, but here they are anyway.
This Me
Spoiler:

And another one...

Sunset Morning
Spoiler:
 
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
The Face That Isn't There
Spoiler:
I literally just just wrote this one. I didn't give it a name, 'cuz I couldn't think of one. I may give it one someday tho.
EDIT: I just gave it a name. Just kinda picked a line and used it for the title.
 
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
Fade, In the Garden of the Burning Rose

Here are two more new ones. Don't worry, the names are included free of charge.

Fade
Spoiler:

In the Garden of the Burning Rose
Spoiler:
 
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
Grand Finale

Get ready... there's quite a few poems this time. I like each of these a lot, and some of them rank among my favorite poems that I wrote.

Parting Gift
Spoiler:
Parting Gift has less structure than anything else I have ever written. I wrote purly from the heart on this one, and I've never changed the original.

Parting Gift II
Spoiler:
Parting Gift II is, indeed, the sequel to Parting Gift. I someday intend to create a third installment to the Parting Gift trilogy. I didn't want to merge the two existing ones into one poem, because I think that would mar the beauty of each poem a little.

K, this one is exceedingly dark, perhaps even more than Eyes of the Ghost or Fade. Just a warning.
The Voiceless Eve
Spoiler:
I wish I had more to say for this one, but this is just one I don't feel has a lot. I kinda forced this one, but its easily the best one I've ever forced. (I usually don't finish the ones I've forced.)

Sunderance
Spoiler:
My shortest poem, I think. I don't have a lot for this one either. This one wasn't forced, but it wasn't really all that heartfelt.

Well that's it! I've finally put up all my good poems that aren't about suicide! You've read my best works.

So far.
 

Zeffy

g'day
6,402
Posts
14
Years
  • Age 27
  • Seen Feb 7, 2024
Spoiler:

I'm not really in the mood to criticize poetry or anything at the moment, but I bothered myself to review this first poem of yours. The others, maybe later when I have more time.

First off, a spelling error.
He roles the die and hopes for good chance
I believe 'roles' is supposed to be 'rolls'.

Anyways, by any chances is this poem supposed to be a song too? It certainly does give me that same aura that song lyrics gives me.

I can see that this is also a freeverse poem, correct? I do like poem itself, however something seems to irk me when I read it. It's like the flow isn't that great. And rhythm weren't all that noticeable. I do like the message though.

All in all, a good poem. I do look forward to reading the other ones soon.
 

Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
I'm not really in the mood to criticize poetry or anything at the moment, but I bothered myself to review this first poem of yours. The others, maybe later when I have more time.

First off, a spelling error.

I believe 'roles' is supposed to be 'rolls'.

Anyways, by any chances is this poem supposed to be a song too? It certainly does give me that same aura that song lyrics gives me.

I can see that this is also a freeverse poem, correct? I do like poem itself, however something seems to irk me when I read it. It's like the flow isn't that great. And rhythm weren't all that noticeable. I do like the message though.

All in all, a good poem. I do look forward to reading the other ones soon.

Thanks for the feedback! I'll fix the spelling right away. Yeah almost all of my poems were originally designed to be songs, but only one of any of my songs were ever selected to be turned into a full length song, which I have yet to record. Yes, it is freeverse. As far as rythym and flow go, I'm still not really skilled them it yet. I started writing poetry not too long ago, and I've never really figured out rythym or flow. I usually just wing it on my poems. Eyes of the Ghost is an earlier poem for me, so I was definitley less experienced when I wrote it. Anyways, thanks again!
 

Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
It's time for new poetry! YAY!
Anyways, these are two new poems I wrote. Each of these are a little... diferent then the others in terms of style. Especially The Willow.
So, without further ado... my new poems.
Candlelight Breath
Spoiler:

The Willow Tree
Spoiler:

When I wrote these, it had been a good long break from writing for me. In fact, I beleive In the Garden of the Burning Rose was the last one before The Willow Tree. When I finally picked up a pen again, I noticed my writing style had changed. Probably something to do with my overall mood lately. Things have been going strangely well, and I don't have the bleak despair that I used to write all the other poems here now. I guess you could call these sad still, but they're not the same as anything else here.
 
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
So, I wrote this one last night. There's a lot I want to say about this one, but if I tried, I'd probably just end up sounding dumb. So I'll just let you guys read it.
A Phantom's Asylum
Spoiler:

So, yeah...
 
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
Two new poems of mine. Well, one of them is kinda old, but I found it last week and revised it, so it counts as new.
Castle of Ruins
Spoiler:

In Loving Memory
Spoiler:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​
 
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
It's been quite a long month, friends. Many friends are gone now, lost beneath the waves or taken away from the very heart that kept them alive. These last two weeks have been especially dark for me, but we've all gotta move on, right? I find that writing can ease the pain from all the recent deaths I've experienced.
I tribute this to those who's lives have been cut tragically short while still in high school or younger, and to their families, whom I am sure are finding this much harder to deal with than me.

With Wings of Lead
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
Some more poems of mine.

Breath of Fire (The Chess Piece)
Spoiler:

You know, I'm not sure how obvious this is for my readers, but a few of these poems, bleak as they may be, are actually love poems. The two Parting Gifts, Candlelight Breath, In Loving Memory, and now Breath of Fire are all despairing love notes. Actually, so is this next one..,

O Sweet Tormentor
Spoiler:

I've always been reluctant to post O Sweet Tormentor. I wrote it at the same time I wrote Eyes of the Ghost, and (since I do imagine my poems as people and individuals) O Sweet Tormentor has forever been Eyes of the Ghost's brother. However, I thought O Sweet was far too emotional and depressing to show anybody, so even though it is a love poem, I've never once shown it to anyone (especially not to the poem's subject. In fact I don't think that the poem's subject has ever read any of these).
 
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
I wrote a new poem today. Well, it's not a poem. More of a song, really. It went in a totally different direction than I had planned, but this ended up better. It'll be posted in parts, making it my longest continuous poem ever. This here is Part 1 - Realization. Never mind the sorta cheesy name.

Part 1 - Realization

Spoiler:
 
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Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
Here's Darkness Part 2: Angelic.

Spoiler:
 

Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
Man, it's been awhile since I've posted Darkness Part 2. Well, here's Part 3.

Darkness Part 3: Sanctuary
Spoiler:
 

Freddy Fazbear

You want the moon? I'll give you the moon.
326
Posts
12
Years
Here's the final piece of my song Darkness.

Darkness Part 4: Dawn
Spoiler:
 
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