Pokemon: Crystal Version

Gender confusion joke successfully subverted.



How is that pronounced? o_O



Who woke whom up? I'm the protagonist, so I can't be talking. Are my eyes closed? Are the lights off? Am I dreaming? Did I wake someone up? Did someone wake me up? What's going on? 3 seconds in and I'm already confused beyond compare. D:



Considering it would need to be bright to see a clock, I'll say his eyes are closed.

OPEN YOUR EYES AND YOU'LL SEE.

Or I'll see.

BRAIN PAIN. x_x

A bit of clock setting later...



Yeah, it's been a while since I screeny'd this. o3o



Wait, I thought I was late. ?_?



So, what? I just got here? @_@



Why hello OAK.



Just because you have a labcoat and a Pokeball doesn't make you a PROF., OAK.



I NEVER TOLD YOU MY NAME TO BEGIN WITH.

WHERE ARE WE?

I THOUGHT I, OR SOMEONE ELSE JUST GOT OUT OF BED.

HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY ROOM?

WTF IS HAPPENING? ;_;



THAT'S IT.

I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS GUY'S BABBLING.

I'M GOING TO SKIP TO THE PARTS I ENJOY BECAUSE I ENJOY THEM.



So, I've been here the entire time and OAK was never there?

/Mind blown

Heads downstairs.



More talking... ;_;



I don't think I'm his personal errand boy. :<



I can only imagine how that happened. @_@



POKEGEAR GET~!



I think I know what it's called mom. :<



I think I know why I got it mom. :<



You need to set that?



Will the day not change if I don't? e_e



Yes, it is SUNDAY. n_n



No. Why do you care mom? :|



THESE QUESTIONS CONFUSE AND ANGER ME.



I WON'T.



No mom. I do not know how to operate a telephone, please enlighten me.

OF COURSE I KNOW.



AND SHE TELLS ME ANYWAY.

OF COURSE.



That's essential to know.



Yours won't be on that list you chatty spaz. :<



And now she's a full, blown infomercial.



THANK GAWD IT'S OVER.

Goes to PROF. ELM's lab...



Gee, I wonder why that red-haired kid is looking through the window of ELM's office...

Probably no one important.

Walks in and up to ELM.



GAWD, WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TALKING TO ME?



I'm not your errand boy. :<



Can you at least pay me? You're a PROF., so you must be rich. ;_;



Did that deserve it's own screen? e_e




There are conferences for this? :O




THEN PROF. HARDER PROF.! D:<



Another useless screen. e_e




Raising an animal in the name of science?

...

SWEET. I'm 10 years old, that's plenty old enough. n_n



Your welcome. n_n



Self-esteem +1


Isn't that your job? o3o





I don't know why I did that. e_e



We were in a convo. ;_;



Why are you saying '.....................' out loud? HOW are you saying that out loud? o_o



Now that's a proper ellipses. n_n







Gee, I wonder what he does with himself. :<



He sounds pleasant.



With a name like Mr. Pokemon, I'm sure he's credible.




You could use the mail, too bad Pelipper hasn't been discovered. ;_;







He knows. o3o



I feel completely in the dark. ;_;



wat?




wat?



You don't have to be so pushy. ;_;




I've always liked Totodile. n_n



HEAR THAT CHIKORITA, CYNDAQUIL?

ELM LIKES TOTODILE BETTER THAN YOU.



TOTODILE get~!



Scrambling the letters = original nickname, y/y?




I'm only 10 man. ;_;



I'll find a way to get lost. o3o




ELM's phone number get~?

An adult wants to be called by a 10 year old...

I need an adult.



I can only picture how far medicine has come for humans if we can make machines made specifically for healing monsters. o3o



I'll remember never to come back here. n_n



Your leaving your trust of an incredibly important scientifical discovery...

To a 10 year old.

You don't deserve the title of PROF., ELM. :<

I try to leave buuuuttt...



Should I be happy someone admitted I'm nothing more than an errand boy? :<



POTION get~!




And now everything makes sense.

Saves...

ALAS, I CAN BEGIN ROUTE 29.

Moves through Route and walks through tall grass.

Encounter.



My first Pokemon BATTLE.

THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS A MOMENTOUS, EPIC OCCASION.



NVM.

/Several SPAM-TABULOUS turns later



And here I thought the tedium would stop. :<

Continues through Route.

Talks to obligatory obese man.



4th Wall much?

Continues through Route and talks to another NPC.



This guy is hardcore. He'll wait HOURS without ANY sleep to see his Pokemon.

I now bestow you the name, Bruce Ironstaunch the 2nd. /OH GAWD PIXY, NO ONE'S GONNA GET THAT REFERENCE

Exits Route 29.



CherryGrove...

It don't have much further to go and I'm flat broke...

Do I need a town map?



I guess not. o3o

Goes up Route and into grass.

Encounter.



Did I say The Adventure Starts When the Text Stops?

I meant, The Adventure Starts When You Get to Bruce Falkner! /GAWD PIXY, STOP MAKING OBSCURE ANIME REFERENCES. YOU'RE LOSING YOUR AUDIENCE.

Continues up Route to house.



Is there any way I can subvert this joke?



A 10 year old just walked into a house with a half-naked man...





No obligatory joke here. Move along.



I'm sure you're Pokemon are fabulous. :<



Just know I'm never visiting or even talking to you ever again you lonely, lonely man. :<



BERRY GET~!



Just acknowledging there are berries on a tree causes them to fall?

Wow.

Leaves creepy man's house.

Walks to Berry Tree.



I thought protagonists couldn't speak. Where is this voice coming from?



Tell them to stop yelling. :<



BERRY GET~!

Continues up North through Route.

Stops at GIANT Pokeball.



Hey look, another Pokemon. I'll just pick it up...



I feel cheated, and lied to.

Continues up Route to sign.



Why thank you sign that can only benefit people who are looking for Mr. Pokemon. n_n

Continues up Route through Grass.

Encounter.





/Several Scratch spams later



Gee whiz, I didn't think I'd win. :<



I am now gleeful. n_n



Detiotol raeg~?

Continues North up Route to Mr. Pokemon's house.



I'm sorry this was such an utter disappointment, I'll try to make future episodes less suck-tastic. :<

Saves...