The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

I have some pretty good news I guess.

In the U.K. same-sex marriage is set to begin in late March and fingers crossed we're getting hitched on our 4 year anniversary in mid April. It hasn't really sunk in yet, but I know I'm going to get so nervous later on in the year.

My SO proposed to me on Tuesday.
I'm hopefully getting married this year.
Holy crap I'm getting married this year.

On Tuesday we headed back to our hometown for a meet-up with some old friends from Highschool. We went to one of the local pubs and sat in the beer garden while having some drinks.
I'll spare you the details but she proposed to me on the same spot where we had our first kiss, and at the exact same time, in-front of some of our oldest friends.

I said yes, and cried a lot.

Congratulations, Somniac! Best wishes to the both of you and for a long and happy life together!

I'm not sure how I've not joined this yet. Sign me up.

Anyway, Somniac, congrats!

Somniac said:

My SO proposed to me on Tuesday.
I'm hopefully getting married this year.
Holy crap I'm getting married this year.

On Tuesday we headed back to our hometown for a meet-up with some old friends from Highschool. We went to one of the local pubs and sat in the beer garden while having some drinks.
I'll spare you the details but she proposed to me on the same spot where we had our first kiss, and at the exact same time, in-front of some of our oldest friends.

I said yes, and cried a lot.

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Holy crap that's amazing! Congrats to you!!

Atomic Pirate said:

I'm not sure how I've not joined this yet. Sign me up.

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Welcome to the fun club!


Okay, I am in need of some advice over some issues at hand here.

First off I will re-introduce myself to give a taste of the situation at hand: I am a male to female transsexual who is not very far in transition at all. I'm only three months into HRT I've done some voice work (I still sound like a guy though.) I am still very boyish in my looks, and I'm still pretty gender-neutral in the ways of dressing.

My therapist suggests the time has come for me to make some friends around here for once, and so, wants me to go to this LGBT center during its drop-in hours and try to meet (and hopefully befriend) some fellow MTFs. If not this, try to go to a support group for those in my age range. While to some people this might seem like no big deal, I have some things about me that make it a huge issue:
• I have been a social recluse for over seven years, so as a result, I don't know how to start conversations with people about almost anything. I am almost always a skittish disaster when I try to talk to people (aside from work and other obligations.) I made absolutely no friends in high school, and only made a few middle school acquaintances who I don't keep in contact with anymore. I seriously only have one friend in person that I only get to see rarely, and we seldom discuss my problems.
• I'm very scared to open up to most people because I'm worried of the possibility of leaving disastrous trail behind me. When I do open up to someone, however, it is an extremely slow process and I tend to shy away from everyone who tries to start a conversation with me. It's interesting since I like having fewer, yet closer friendships. I understand that the biggest thing about me (being trans) is not that much of a big deal in a situation like this, but the anxiety still follows me. Plus, there are a bunch of other quantities of me I only share with my boyfriend because of how high-tension silence inducing they can be, so I guess that's a thing (I have had on and off phases of misanthropy and nihilism in my early teen years.)

Even with all this mind, I really want to go, but…the problem is that I'm very scared. I've told her (my therapist) about this, but I've been told that transitioning may be far more difficult if I don't at least try. It's the unknown to me, which I think is the scariest part about it.


So…what the hell do I do? Do I try overcome my fears and try to be friends with some people, or do I sit here and wait for things to come to me? I know I want to do the former, but for the love of god I don't have any idea how!

Since you've been out of socialization of course it will take a while, but I think that after a while it will start to be easier and come back, so I say go. Nothing to lose :)

On my side of things, new blog post coming soon... I'm at a complete loss of what to do.

EDIT: Blog post is out.

I've been reading a couple of the posts here and thought I'd add my input, so I guess I'll be joining. I'm not entirely qualified to give advice on some of these matters, but I assume different perspectives are welcome?

TéaQQ said:

Okay, I am in need of some advice over some issues at hand here.

First off I will re-introduce myself to give a taste of the situation at hand: I am a male to female transsexual who is not very far in transition at all. I'm only three months into HRT I've done some voice work (I still sound like a guy though.) I am still very boyish in my looks, and I'm still pretty gender-neutral in the ways of dressing.

My therapist suggests the time has come for me to make some friends around here for once, and so, wants me to go to this LGBT center during its drop-in hours and try to meet (and hopefully befriend) some fellow MTFs. If not this, try to go to a support group for those in my age range. While to some people this might seem like no big deal, I have some things about me that make it a huge issue:
• I have been a social recluse for over seven years, so as a result, I don't know how to start conversations with people about almost anything. I am almost always a skittish disaster when I try to talk to people (aside from work and other obligations.) I made absolutely no friends in high school, and only made a few middle school acquaintances who I don't keep in contact with anymore. I seriously only have one friend in person that I only get to see rarely, and we seldom discuss my problems.
• I'm very scared to open up to most people because I'm worried of the possibility of leaving disastrous trail behind me. When I do open up to someone, however, it is an extremely slow process and I tend to shy away from everyone who tries to start a conversation with me. It's interesting since I like having fewer, yet closer friendships. I understand that the biggest thing about me (being trans) is not that much of a big deal in a situation like this, but the anxiety still follows me. Plus, there are a bunch of other quantities of me I only share with my boyfriend because of how high-tension silence inducing they can be, so I guess that's a thing (I have had on and off phases of misanthropy and nihilism in my early teen years.)

Even with all this mind, I really want to go, but…the problem is that I'm very scared. I've told her (my therapist) about this, but I've been told that transitioning may be far more difficult if I don't at least try. It's the unknown to me, which I think is the scariest part about it.


So…what the hell do I do? Do I try overcome my fears and try to be friends with some people, or do I sit here and wait for things to come to me? I know I want to do the former, but for the love of god I don't have any idea how!

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I say you go. Whether it's something like a support group or LGBT center, I think being around other people who are in the same boat will help. You don't necessarily need to share your life story, maybe take awhile to listen to others and just become comfortable in that sort of environment. Eventually, familiarity will sink in an you can start opening up to other people, who should welcome you and be respectful of you fears and anxiety. You don't have to strike up conversations right away, and perhaps you'll meet other people who feel the same way.

Faye Rose~ said:

Since you've been out of socialization of course it will take a while, but I think that after a while it will start to be easier and come back, so I say go. Nothing to lose :)

On my side of things, new blog post coming soon... I'm at a complete loss of what to do.

EDIT: Blog post is out.

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I guess I don't know the severity of the parent situation, but I've always "been a fan" of explaining yourself to them. If you are truly depressed that's something that would be of concern to them, and if they were to kick you out, or anything to that effect, that would, in all reality, exacerbate the situation. This is where my limited scope of the situation comes into play. I don't want to say that "if they love you they'll accept you", but honestly, I expect that if a parent sees their child suffering, they'll do their best to try and comfort them.

If something like being kicked out or rejected is a real possibility, make sure you stay positive. Go get that license, try to get a job. If 4 months is all it takes, then don't stress out. You should see this time in your life as working towards your eventual goal, instead of being stuck, because although you may not be on hormones, you're still crafting a new life. You've already made tremendous progress, and although it may not be physical, let the prospect of a better life be the motivator.

Alessi_sys said:

Congratulations, Somniac! Best wishes to the both of you and for a long and happy life together!

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Atomic Pirate said:

Anyway, Somniac, congrats!

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TéaQQ said:

Holy crap that's amazing! Congrats to you!!

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I wrote a blog post about it, the first of many most likely. I'll probably cover some topics that may be relevant to this club in the future, so if anyone is interested feel free to check it out.

So... my parents snooped through my computer and found out I was trans.

And they're being unsupportive, overcontrolling jerks about it too.

My mom say's she'd rather die than let me transition.

Jerks. Jerks. Jerks.

I hope you can stick it out? :( Don't let them get to you! Be the mature one at all times, unless your parents aren't really reasonable people :\

My mom has the audacity to tell me that 'I don't know what I'm doing' and that 'I'm delusional' She acts like just because she's my mother she knows everything about me inside and out.

She thinks I'm being selfish for wanting this, but it's okay and unselfish for her to try to force me to live my life how she wants me to live it.

Pathetic.

So, yesterday I was checking in some guy at work. And he started chatting with me.

Somehow the conversation got to religion, I don't really remember how. And I mentioned that I used to be Catholic. (I then wanted to smack myself in the face because that never leads to anything good) And the guy asked why I used to be. I just tried to shrug it off and just say I didn't meet eye to eye with the church. \

The guy then started ranting about Catholic priests and how they should not let gay men be priests. And he then said that he heard a rumor about a local priest being seen in a gay bar.

I couldn't help it. I told him that, so? Just if a priest is gay, doesn't mean he's a child molester, and that a straight priest could molest a child too. I told him I was once an altar server and the priest could have done something to me, never did, and I never would think my priest to do that.

The guy then goes, well wouldn't I be concerned if I saw someone of influence in a gay bar.

I couldn't help it, again.

I just said I hadn't seen anyone important there lately.

The guy sort of paused. He looks me over and goes, "I don't believe that." I ask him what. "Well, you know."

I pause and say, "Well, my girlfriend probably believes different than you do."

He then just smiles and goes. "Yeah, I don't believe that's true." I just give him a look that just screamed, 'seriously?'. He laughs and keeps going saying how if he gave me an hour to talk how he could change my mind of that. He kept saying that he didn't believe it like I was lying or something.

Oh, gee, another religious person that thinks they can 'fix' me. Not only that, but that guy thought I was 'wrong' about myself.

PhantomX0990 said:

Oh, gee, another religious person that thinks they can 'fix' me. Not only that, but that guy thought I was 'wrong' about myself.

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Sounds like my parents. They think they can 'fix' my transgenderism, and they think I'm wrong about what I feel.

Update about my blog, I'm fairly sure that my parents, when they snooped on my laptop, found it so I'm going to move it to a new URL.

Also changed my password on my laptop so they can't do it again.

I am allowed back in my house tomorrow, so my 2 day bout of homelessness is over. In reality, I just sat in my friends' basement playing Pokemon Showdown and drinking Mtn Dew for 2 days.

My parents are sending me to a psychiatrist, they're hoping that they'll diagnose me with some other Mental disorder, when in reality, I'll just get diagnosed with Gender dysphoria. Once they hear that from a doctor, they won't be able to tell me I'm wrong about myself any more.

Check, mate.

Parents have this nasty habit of thinking they're right about everything and that they know their children better than their children know themselves. They're wrong, of course, but they don't figure this out until it's too late for it to make any difference to the living situation.

In a few years when you've moved out on your own terms, that's when she'll come to her senses lol. That's what happened with me anyway - not so much about my sexuality but just things in general.

Can I join?


Also in relatedness(if that's a word) to the current topic. Parents can seriously suck sometimes.
They act like they know you inside and out, like they know /YOU/ and how /YOU/ feel. You can be telling them with tear-filled eyes that you love somebody and they might just say "I don't think you do".


Its things like that that leave me no choice but to just keep to myself and avoid letting my true feelings show at any cost to anybody IRL. I try to make up for my apathy by being a good friend to people online though.
Doesn't help I've got a ton of issues and I probably can't name half of them. :P But meh.


Hopefully that was relevant.

Faye Rose~ said:

So... my parents snooped through my computer and found out I was trans.

And they're being unsupportive, overcontrolling jerks about it too.

My mom say's she'd rather die than let me transition.

Jerks. Jerks. Jerks.

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I guess her love is conditional then. It's not uncommon, I'm afraid. I wish you the best going forward.

May I join? I'm bisexual, a Jew, and, uh...yeah.

On topic, parents should love their child no matter what. It is sad that some, as put in the above post, have only conditional love.

Unknown# said:

May I join? I'm bisexual, a Jew, and, uh...yeah.

On topic, parents should love their child no matter what. It is sad that some, as put in the above post, have only conditional love.

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I completely agree. I am fortunate to have parents who love me no matter what. I just that one day all parents can be unconditionally loving.

Part of what I said in that post were a direct quote from my mom. :) Strangely enough, my parents still don't know that I'm bi.

http://imgur.com/gallery/EnOhK

Wow. These parents seem like they love their kids no matter what. Something that caught my eye, felt like it was worth sharing.