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1,000 Ways to get Kicked Out of Walmart [v.2]

Ineffable~

DAT SNARKITUDE
2,738
Posts
15
Years
226. Set a time bomb in the middle of the store, but be obvious about it and set it for such a late time that no one is really panicked and it gets removed easily.
 

deoxys121

White Kyurem Cometh
1,254
Posts
13
Years
227. Go to the produce section with a tennis racket (of course stolen from the same Walmart) and start playing Apple Smear (see Cheaper By the Dozen) with Walmart's apples.
 

Ineffable~

DAT SNARKITUDE
2,738
Posts
15
Years
228. Bring a live goat into the store, all leashed up with rope that you stole from Walmart earlier. Then go steal a hunting knife, use it to cut the goat's throat and say "YOU JUST GOT SACRIFICED!"
 

Ineffable~

DAT SNARKITUDE
2,738
Posts
15
Years
234. Carve the entire store into the shape of Texas.

235. Dress up like George W. Bush and walk around the Texas store saying ridiculous nonsensical things while stealing every taco you see (if you didn't already carve off the taco section).
 

Winneon

[b][color=#fb0120]しょう[/color][color=#fc6d24]が[/col
525
Posts
12
Years
236
~
Throw a baby to the ceiling and let it plop onto an assistant.
 
1,244
Posts
16
Years
239: Put on Tina Turner's 'Nutbush City Limits' over the store speakers and get as many people as you can to join in the dance.
 

Ineffable~

DAT SNARKITUDE
2,738
Posts
15
Years
240. Pick up a dodgeball off the shelf, say "oh, I love dodgeball! Heads up!" then throw it at the closest fellow customer.
241. Pick up a bundt cake from the bakery shelf, say "oh, I love bundt cake! Heads up!" then throw it at the closest fellow customer.
242. Get an employee to let you try out a trombone in the store, say "oh, I love the trombone!", start playing a beautiful song on it, then proceed to say "heads up!" and throw it at the closest fellow customer.
 

xelarator

Gentlemen.
131
Posts
12
Years
243. Dig a BIG hole inside the Wal-Mart[somehow]. Inside the hole, make a realistic Diglett head as big as the hole, and as people pass by, slowly pop the head to the surface, thus scaring the living **** outta them.
 

deoxys121

White Kyurem Cometh
1,254
Posts
13
Years
245. Paint a ball yellow, cut it in half, then walk around the store opening and closing it as you chase customers with it, saying "Wakka, wakka, wakka, wakka, wakka, wakka."
 
19
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 29
  • UK
  • Seen Aug 9, 2012
247. Go to the counter and ask for a massage. When you're told they don't give massages, insist that they do and demand that they give you one or you'll be suing. Force them to take the money for it.
 
50,218
Posts
13
Years
248 - Start a conversation with an anonymous computer hacker and tell them you leaked 250,000 secret documents. It's sure to get any worker kicked out of their job cos it's to do with espionage!
 

deoxys121

White Kyurem Cometh
1,254
Posts
13
Years
249. Empty a soda bottle onto the floor (from the same Walmart of course) then run around bopping people on the head with it.
250. Unroll every roll of toilet paper in every bathroom right in front of an employee, and then say "The cat did it, I swear!"

We are 25% there!
 
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