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Old July 29th, 2013 (8:06 PM). Edited July 29th, 2013 by Lalapizzame.
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Lalapizzame Lalapizzame is offline
    Join Date: Dec 2007
    Location: California
    Age: 20
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 746
    This is how Derk feels, once more.

    An address from President Morgan Freeman, Invictus:

    “Wow. Just wow. It’s such an honor to be here; such an honor to celebrate my birthday – Morgan Freeman’s birthday. This July 30th’s been the best one I’ve seen in my 75-year lifetime.

    I know. I find it hard myself to believe I am the amazing Morgan Freeman – I mean Fernman, I am always getting this wrong. Some of you may call me Derk. That’s fine. My homies back in Orlando, Florida call me that. Some of you may call me Derrick. It’s been so long since people called me that. Derrick is so long. It gives me chills up my spine. An old bully named Wolflare used to call me that. Gives me bad memories. Really bad memories. But, really, I’d prefer if you called me Morgan, Morgan Freeman, or Morgan Fernman. I know some of you get mixed up on this point. I do, too.

    Some of you have even called me Morgan the Free Man.

    When we look back at my career as a narrator, some of you seem to hate it. I know why, John. It’s because I used to have great abs; a six-pack – do you see that picture up there? But I get paid millions a year for narrating and being the cool old black guy in Hollywood. You don’t get that for great abs. Money, dear boy.

    I still have trouble with my own existence on this planet. What if I were a kid born in Orlando, Florida? What if I were a woman? What if I were a woman born in Orlando, Florida? What if my real name were Derrick?

    These are all possibilities I explore (and narrate) on Through the Wormhole. And I can tell you Morgan Freeman is the reason half the audience is there. The other half is Bill Nye the Science Guy.

    Just to have Wolflare, Lala, Zeffy, my good friend Shawn, Glitchguy, and, regrettably, Jelli give me this birthday present brings tears to my eyes. They were so nice when I came out to them as Morgan Freeman. They had less trouble with it than I do.

    It is now my 76th year on Earth. I do not plan to stop narrating. I do not plan to stop visiting Pokecommunity’s Pokemon Showdown server.

    I am delighted to be your president. Many of you will shower praise on me as a pleasant guy to be around. Many of you as a pleasant narrator. Many of you as a calm person.

    And some of you will go further and say I love the Earth; and you will say I am a dependable, firm man who sticks to his roots, who has never abandoned his position – rain or shine –, a positive-thinking optimist, and someone open to everyone and cannot reject them.

    In other words, I am a fern. And I cannot confirm or deny your suspicions.

    Some of you may feel intimidated around me. But my friend Lala tells me I am definitely not an intimidating person. He says I have advertised well and made the server a busier place. He says I have given the Server some measure of authority and prestige and I do not neglect my duties. In fact, I am too diligent; I am an abusive tyrant. But I assure you, I do this in love for South Africa as its president – Pokecommunity’s Pokemon Showdown server, I mean.

    I admit I banned gay marriage in my state of South Africa. Gay marriage is trolling it is true I’m sorry and I apologize.

    And I know what I would like to say to myself in Morgan Freeman’s voice:

    Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me …

    Happy birthday, Derk.
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