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[Pokémon] Reverberations of Time

Unown Seer

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179
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14
Years
  • Seen Dec 6, 2020

Reverberations of Time

A mystery story about the meaning of coexistence​


In 2001, a 12-year old trainer named Kris sets out on an atypical journey that defies expectations. 20 years later, a boy of the same age, called Ernest, investigates the truth behind something horrific. How are the two stories intertwined?


Clarifications

1. This fanfic switches perspective every chapter. Odd-numbered chapters follow Ernest's story, while even-numbered chapters follow Kris'.

2. The story is not battle-driven and is rather heavy on dialogue and inner thoughts. I hope that it still provides an enjoyable ride.

3. As you can guess, Kris is the female protagonist from Pok?mon Crystal, but her story is really a sequel to the main events from the Johto games. Ernest is a completely original character.

4. I capitalize "Pok?mon" and species names. I can't stand seeing them decapitalized, personally. You can think of capitalization as the characters being in awe of the creatures they see or talk about.


Table of Contents

Prologue (below)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7

The prologue is based on the opening of Pok?mon Crystal, which I've long considered unexplained. The narrator is neither Ernest nor Kris, and you can guess who it is if you watch the opening.


Prologue


I am in a field, taking a rest from a long run. My body may be made of plentiful water, but I rely on food and rest all the same. The creatures around me play happily; particularly endearing are a Pichu and Wooper, who are too focused on each other to notice my presence.

But this serenity comes to a grinding halt as my mind is suddenly engulfed. I hear their mysterious voices, transmitted to me via radio waves:

COME NOW. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.

What is it they want of me? I dare not question their judgment, so I dash toward their location without having rested. As I start running, the playful Pichu and Wooper finally notice me, puzzled by what they see. Little do they know that my destination is the ruins: the only place where they agree to reveal themselves. Oddly, they have never summoned me before?. Rather, they have manifested in my dreams, from which I only recall feeling a strong connection to them.

RUN FASTER.

I am already running at maximum speed? And yet the urgency of their words gives me increased stamina. I am running faster than I ever have, and soon enough I enter the ruins. But where do I even begin looking in this maze of a place? There are multiple chambers which lead to yet more rooms.

"Where are you?"

ENTER THE PORTAL.

A portal? Where is it and where does it lead? As I scan the ruins, chamber by chamber, I finally notice a crack in the walls. It seems much too small for me to go through, but when I get closer, my whole body is absorbed. What I see before me now is like nothing I have seen before, or at least remember. It is their world, which goes beyond my grasp.

YOU HAVE FINALLY COME.

"You could have made it easier for me. I'm exhausted."

THOSE WHO SEEK ISOLATION ARE NEAR.

"Who are they?"

YOU WILL SEE.

"This doesn't help me very much."

THE TIME FOR ANSWERS IS NOT NOW.

"What do you expect me to do with this information?"

FIND THE ONE.

"Whom?"

YOU KNOW.

They must mean the one that Ho-Oh has wanted me to find for a very long time.

"I very much doubt that such a person exists. I have never seen one."

YOUR OWN FAITH IS VITAL.

"You have to tell me what this is all about."

BOTH SIDES ARE AT RISK.

"Both sides? Does that mean what I think it does?"

FIND THE ONE THAT CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

"So, you already know who that is? Then tell me."

WE CANNOT INTERFERE.

I am expelled from the confounding world with great force. The first question I ask is?

How much time do I have?
 
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Unown Seer

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  • Seen Dec 6, 2020
Chapter 1


"Welcome to the Pok?mon world; my name is Oak. This world is filled with remarkable creatures, about which there are still many mysteries my colleagues and I investigate every day. But enough about me. Your name is? Ernest, correct?"

It's that dream again. I keep having it only to be disappointed when I wake up. Why is my mind subjecting me to this cruelty?

Prof. Samuel Oak was a great man without whom the Pok?dex project would have never come to fruition. And if that had been the case, I would have known very little about Pok?mon. And the reason for that is?

They've been gone for 19 years, since before I was born. All people say about it is that a strange plague wiped them out one after the other, until none were left. Mom doesn't like it when I ask her questions about this. She says that the less I know about Pok?mon and their fate, the better off I will be.

"The past is the past, and enough people have been burdened by it. You deserve better."

As I came to learn two years ago, it wasn't just Pok?mon that died, but also the likes of the late Oak who lost the will to live. That also goes for great grandpa Kurt, who was a friend of Samuel's.

"The only thing he lived for was creating Pok? Balls, which he considered pivotal to shaping the relationship between a trainer and their Pok?mon," Mom once said.

I still don't understand that sentence, but suffice to say that it doesn't matter now. Pok? Balls no longer serve any purpose, or do they? All I know is that people around me refuse to say much of anything about Pok?mon, but it is easy to tell that there is still a deep sadness lying beneath the surface. Most people seem to have moved on, but not without feeling blame for it. I have no idea what the world was really like before it changed so drastically, and I can only wish I had lived in another era. Pok?mon must have been fascinating creatures based on the information documented in the Pok?dex. A world with only humans? is bland, even to someone like me who doesn't know any better. I don't care for most people, if I'm being honest with myself.

But I don't dislike my life, to be sure. Since Mom works at home and is a little overprotective, she has been homeschooling me. Why is that a good thing? Because the world out there is dreary and void when you really think about it. In contrast, Mom has preserved some of those qualities her own childhood was filled with, so I don't need anyone else but her and granddad Vincent. He is an enthusiastic guy when it comes to technology, but I like him just for being a good friend and making me laugh. But his work usually keeps him busy, and it goes past that these days?

My thought process is rudely interrupted.

"Ernie, you should have been ready 15 minutes ago. Get a move on already."

Those last words have a rough edge to them, but Mom's tone is actually soft, as if there were still time to spare. Still, I'd better focus on the trivial task of waking up right now. As I do so, I still wonder what Mom has been doing with her custom Pok? Ball knowledge. Only an oblivious fool wouldn't notice that she's been awfully busy working at Silph Co. recently, along with Grandpa. He has worked in Saffron City for about 30 years now, but Mom only moved here after her grandpa died. For me, Saffron is the only home I know, and in fact, I've never left it.

"For pete's sake, how long will it be till you come eat your breakfast?"

"I'm coming. No need to get your panties in a bunch over something so banal."

I go down the stairs and sit down at the table in front of Mom. There are delicious pancakes already prepared, no doubt made with almond milk just as I like them. But before I can take a bite...

"Such cheekiness. I hope you never use such language with other people, but that doesn't make it okay to do so with your own mom."

I've clearly hit a nerve, as evidenced by her shaking head. She has a point: I've been pretty agitated lately.

"Sorry. I can't help it, but I'll try."

She doesn't seem pleased but is willing to let it slide. She shrugs her shoulders and pours juice, only to change the subject.

"As you know, I no longer have time to home school you. I want to start looking for a proper school."

I've been dreading this moment. True enough, she has far less time for me these days. But isn't it cruel to send me out there all of a sudden?

"That doesn't seem fair when you haven't even explained what it is you're doing now."

"I'm helping Grandpa with a project. I can't say anything beyond that."

And I can't stand it when she puts on the secretive act. That is not the Mom I know.

"Then I am not going to any school for boring kids."

She is staring at me now, her eyes widened. Quite carefully at that.

"I don't recall asking for your permission."

So that's that? I need to convince her somehow, but she is already giving me an annoyed look.

"I know that this project of yours is about Pok?mon. I want to help."

"Last I checked, you were a 12 years old kid. Cut the attitude and stop pretending that you're an expert on anything."

Her head is shaking again. She looks older than her usual self, who isn't even 30 yet.

"I may not be an expert, but I want to study about Pok?mon. A school doesn't offer that education."

A perfectly good comeback, I'd like to think.

"Why should it? Pok?mon are gone? The kids of today need to focus on what they can do, which has nothing to do with Pok?mon. I wish you'd understand that already."

Understand? Why would I?

"I think you're a hypocrite. You have never done anything but create Pok? Balls long after the plague. That tells me that things aren't as simple as you'd have me believe."

Wow, I can't believe I've just said that to my own mom. She looks even more frustrated with me right about now.

"A hypocrite? That's alarmingly disrespectful and shows how little you really know. My primary job is to be your mom and your way of showing gratitude leaves a lot to be desired."

Her voice has become intimidating. I need to lighten up the mood sooner rather than later.

"I? didn't mean to say that, sorry. My point is that you're moving onto something else now, and there is probably a good reason for that."

She stands up and looks at me from above.

"I will tell you about it when the time is right. But you are absolutely going to school ? no questions asked. That is the best way for you to apologize."

I resist the temptation to roll my eyes, since I know better than to get deeper into a debate. Mom can be scary when I don't control my mouth. And besides, I can handle going to school? while carrying out my investigation. She may be keeping her trap shut, but Grandpa is far worse at lying through his teeth. I just need to find the right time to ask him a few questions while Mom isn't watching my every move. That isn't likely to happen soon, though.

"We are going to Saffron Academy first. I expect you to be on your best behavior, and it goes without saying that you are not to mention Pok?mon. Finish eating and get dressed properly."

Oh joy. The academy has always been this place I could go to if Mom finally decided it was time for me to be a normal kid, but I honestly could not care less about meeting new friends. So what's the point? It's just a way for her to do whatever it is she's doing without worrying about me. She may have found a way to distract me, but I'd be damned if it were that easy.
 
Last edited:
10,174
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17
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  • Age 37
  • Seen yesterday
Hey there!

I have to say that I like the expanded story of Crystal's opening. It's a strange thing to watch when just playing the game, and to see it explored in fanfiction is interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing how Suicune's story connects not only to Kris's, but also to Ernest's.

I'm also looking forward to learning about how the Pokemon disappeared and how that affected the world. There's the question on if Pokemon actually disappeared or not, since Ernest's family members are still working on projects related to them.
 

Cavespider_17

Charlie
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  • Age 29
  • U.K
  • Seen Feb 5, 2024
PROLOGUE

"I may have water inside me, but food and rest are vital all the same."
As a sentence it doesn't sound right. As Ernest isn't actually saying "I may have water inside me" to someone else it reads as if he is drowning. A better way of saying it could be I may have drank plenty, also "but food and rest are vital all the same" also comes across as strange. A little rewording of this section would make it flow better.

"But this "
Seldom use but as the start of a sentence because it is a conjunction.


"COME NOW. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE."
Speech marks are required here, as you have stated he is hearing them, also try using italics rather than capitals as it does give off the same impression. On a positive note it is clear as a stand alone line that there is a sense of urgency and somewhat eeriness. :)

"I dare not question their judgment, so I dash toward their location without a second thought, despite barely getting any rest. "

Minor spelling mistake judgment -> judgement, also if this was intended as a clause it doesn't quite work. Easy way to test is to take out the middle section. "I dare not question their judgement, despite barely getting any rest. "
The current effect is okay, but to really hammer it home reword this a little it would have a better effect. :)

"Little do they know that my destination is the ruins: the only place where they agree to reveal themselves." : -> ; or : -> ,

"But they". But is a conjunction and should be used rarely at the start of sentences.

"Rather, they have manifested in my dreams, which I no longer remember. " Slightly contradictory, I understand what you mean. However, it may be wise to clear it up a little.


"RUN FASTER." Great effect as a one liner. Capitals again would be better replaced as italics, but you could also argue for it to be in capitals this time. However, if again this is the voices I would recommend using speech marks. First time reading, I thought it was Ernest thinking it.

"And yet" And is a conjunctive like but. It should also be used seldom at the start of sentences. Using conjunctives consistently at the start of sentences actually damages their effect. If you were to only do it occasionally the reader would get the impression that something abrupt just happened and it would have a positive effect.

"ENTER THE PORTAL." Speech marks are required here. Especially as it is in direct response to Ernest's question. Also italics would be far more effective than capitals.

"And where does it lead? " -> "Where does it lead?" Or "And where does it lead? " ->"Where is it and where does it lead?" .Simple fix. Remove the conjunctive it will help the flow of the text.

"YOU HAVE FINALLY COME. THOSE WHO SEEK ISOLATION ARE NEAR. YOU WILL SEE. THE TIME FOR ANSWERS IS NOT NOW. FIND THE ONE. YOU KNOW. YOUR OWN FAITH IS VITAL.
BOTH SIDES ARE AT RISK. FIND THE ONE THAT CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.WE CANNOT INTERFERE."
All of these need speech marks. Ernest is being spoken to.

Summary
  • Overall the story did seem to keep me interested on the lead character
  • One liners are used brilliantly for effect. This is a very hard stunt to pull off in text. So well done :)
  • The vagueness in places can be a little overwhelming, however, for the genre style it does seem to work well.
  • Grammar is a major issue. Particularly the misuse of conjunctives and missing speech marks. If the author was to resolve these issues the text would flow fantastically. :)
  • From the prologue Ernest has no description. He is just a guy running. It distances the reader from the character a little.

:) Good job.
 

Unown Seer

Earnest
179
Posts
14
Years
  • Seen Dec 6, 2020
Chapter 2​


"Wake up, dear."

I see an old lady right in front of me. A tad on the large side, but her radiant face stands out despite her age. I slowly open my eyes and straighten my back.

"You don't want to miss your stop, do you?"

A rhetorical question if I ever heard one. I'm a little embarrassed now.

"Oh, of course not. Thanks for waking me up, lady."

She smiles and immediately cuddles her Snubbull that I only now notice. I take a moment to look at the scenery across the window. If we're close to New Bark Town, then this must be Route 29. There is a grassy patch not far from our position, and if my eyes aren't deceiving me, I detect a family of Sentret feeding a lone Hoppip. It's a heartwarming sight of the kind that always lifts my spirits up.

I hear the lady's voice again.

"You aren't a Pokémon trainer, are you?"

Is it that obvious?

"No, but I am on my way to meet Prof. Elm. I hope that he agrees to give me a starter Pokémon today."

"Oh? But only New Bark trainers are supposed to get a starter from Elm. You're from Violet City, aren't you?"

"That's true, but…"

I figure that it would be easier to show her the e-mail than to explain it myself. She looks confused when I take out my Pokégear.

"What's this, dear?"

"Please read it. It explains everything."

Confused, she takes out her glasses and holds the device up close. Of course, I remember the words by heart.

"Dear Kris,

Thanks for your interest in my research. I will be happy to meet you at my lab whenever you can visit.

Best regards,

Elliot Elm"

The old lady takes her time, even though there isn't much to read. Her Snubbull looks bored, eyeing me closely.

"I see. It seems that you managed to get Elm to take an interest in you. Whatever did you say to him?"

"Nothing much. Just that his ideas about the effects of Pokémon walking alongside their trainers fascinate me, and I would love to help him prove that he's right."

"Pokémon walking alongside their trainers? Why, my Snubbull is always around me. What's so special about that?"

"Are you a trainer?"

"Don't be silly, dear. My Snubbull needs to stay clean at all times."

"And you aren't on a journey, correct?"

She laughed a little too loudly.

"Of course not."

"So I don't think that the two situations are comparable."

"Whatever you say, dear. So I take it that your parents approve of your going on a journey as a new trainer?"

That… isn't really something I'd like to answer truthfully, and her calling me "dear" is getting a little annoying.

"Oh, yes. All of my neighbors have already left home, and my parents want the best for me."

I wish that were true.

"How wonderful. Well, if you're on your way to Elm's lab, I believe that the next stop is your destination."

"Yes, I know. Thanks so much for making sure that I don't miss it."

I reach out my arm to pet her Snubbull, who bites my finger.

"Ouch!"

"Oh, Nelly. That is no way to say goodbye. Apologize at once."

Nelly looks somewhat scared. Eventually, she comes closer and licks my wound that she inflicted. I wish I could say it wasn't a forced gesture. It's pretty cute, though.

Before I know it, the bus comes to a stop.

"Farewell, dear. Don't begrudge Nelly, now."

"I won't. Bye!"

As I descend from the bus, the windmills around the houses immediately get my attention. Kids are running around happily with a pair of adorable Teddiursa cubs following suit… The pastoral atmosphere is amazing. I guess it's true: The wind here truly is a pleasant sign of a fresh new start. And boy, do I need it. That lie I told that lady… It's a big one. Well, I am sure that Dad wants me gone, but he didn't seem too pleased when I told him about going to meet Elm. He called it a ridiculous idea.

"You stupid girl. You flunked all of your exams at Earl's academy… If your own teacher doesn't think that you have what it takes to be a trainer, why would a stranger waste his time on you? You're a failure."

I couldn't tell if Dad was drunk when he said that, but does it matter? I've learned that he is most honest when he can barely walk his way to the bedroom. I can never forget what he said when I was about seven years old…

"It is your own bloody fault that I lost her. It was you that should have died, but your mom paid the price for your worthless self. She died knowing that there was no point to your life."

No, no… I could never believe something so crazy. I did not ask to be born; mom wanted me to live. I… will let her exist through me, and believe that I can make her proud.

Suddenly, I hear someone call out my name.

"Kris? Are you Kris?"

A brown-haired girl stands before me. She looks to be around my age, but taller. Her outfit is a bit unorthodox, especially that bulbous hat. I wouldn't want to wear that, but then again, kids at school would often mock my kippah. I appreciate the bold style.

"Yes. How do you know my name?"

"I am Prof. Elm's assistant. He told me that you were coming."

"Oh, nice to meet you! I didn't know he had such a young assistant."

"Well, now you do. How was your ride?"

"It wasn't too long, and I managed to get some rest. Hey, what's your name?"

"Lyra. And right behind me is Snout, my Marill."

The blue mouse emerges to give me a smile. I instantly approach him.

"Nice to meet you, Snout."

Lyra picks him up before I can touch him.

"Snout doesn't like it when strangers get so close. Sorry!"

But Snout seems pretty comfortable to me. I give him a kiss on the cheek, making him blush.

"Oh, that's okay. I already got one Pokémon upset in the last 10 minutes, so I figure that Snout here wants me to feel more welcome."

Lyra doesn't seem too pleased about that. Hmm, maybe she's overly maternal?

"We should really get going. Prof. Elm has other things to do today."

"Oh? Could I ask what he is busy with?"

"The new champion is coming back home. We are preparing a huge party to honor his victory. Exciting!"

"A new champion? I think I heard one of my neighbors talk about Lance losing to someone recently. Who is he?"

"Ethan. He's a childhood friend of mine, and I really do need to get going so I can arrange the party. And you must be eager to meet Prof. Elm, right?"

Ethan? I remember that name from the reports about Team Rocket being stopped. First they mentioned the incident in Mahogany Town, where Lance and a young boy helped foil Team Rocket's plan to force the Magikarp in Lake of Rage to evolve. At that time, the boy's identity was not disclosed. But a few days afterwards, it was revealed that his name was Ethan, and that he had singlehandedly defeated the entire organization at Goldenrod's Radio Tower. Apparently, they were attempting to contact their ex-leader as well as send out the evolution-inducing radio waves all over Johto. The latter would have been excruciating! Evolution is a gradual process, and according to experts such as Prof. Elm, forced evolution could result in a disease.

"Kris, are you with me?"

"What? Oh, yes. Let's go."

Ignoring Lyra's somewhat condescending tone, I start following her and Snout along the pavement. There are hardly any cars around and I am guessing that it won't take too long to get to the lab. But my mind is elsewhere: I hope I get to meet this Ethan. He is about my age, I assume. How amazing that someone so young could be so accomplished… I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous.

"Don't worry. We're very close." Lyra shouted from ahead of me.

"Great. Say, how long have you worked for Prof. Elm?"

"For about two years. He asked me to be his assistant for the Pokéwalker project. You know about that, right?"

"Oh, yes. They told us about it at the academy. It's a project conducted all over the region, which was meant to determine if walking with Pokémon without battling could increase their potential. And you proved that it could!"

"Yep. You know your stuff, but it isn't that simple. We proved that growth is very slow when done this way, as in slow compared to regular training."

"Maybe you've missed something?"

"I think I know about this more than you do."

"Just thinking aloud, sorry."

As someone who doesn't share Ethan's lofty goals, I am not sure I want to even battle on a casual basis. As Dad said, I have shown absolutely no affinity for battling. Something about battles simply gets me agitated. The journey I want to take… is one I need for a happier life. I just want to get away from Dad, and maybe, just maybe, understand Pokémon a little better.

And that means never letting Poké Balls separate us.
 
Last edited:
10,174
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Kris's first chapter is a much stronger one than the one about Ernest. There's more action between the dialogue, and Kris has more of her backstory and why she's heading out on this journey shared here.

I like that you're taking parts of the game and fitting them into the story. It's also interesting that you have the main plot of the games already taken care of. There won't be any fighting Team Rocket for Kris (I'd assume so), which leaves her open to a different goal on her journey.
 

Unown Seer

Earnest
179
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14
Years
  • Seen Dec 6, 2020
Another chapter before I go on (a hopefully short) hiatus as a result of my stupid laptop needing a repair.


Chapter 3



We're on our way to Saffron Academy. I'm fairly nervous and for whatever reason, Mom is too busy driving to say anything. So I'll do the talking.

"Mom, is it true that the Saffron gym and dojo were demolished to make room for the academy?"

She pauses before answering, her eyes still on the road.

"Yes, but that has nothing to do with the purpose of the academy, which is teaching students about the world of today."

I don't want to leave it at that.

"Why were the gym and dojo shut down?"

"You know why. Don't act dumb."

"You used to tell me things about the past. Now you get annoyed every time I ask."

She looks at me, no longer annoyed. She might even be sad.

"You're right. It's complicated, and right now I just want you to adjust to the academy. That should be our priority."

Wait, what?

"I thought we were were just going to look around. Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?"

"I said that we were going to look for a school, but really, this is the best choice. I want you to have the best academic experience."

"I was happy with the life and education you gave me. This isn't fair."

"What isn't fair is that I didn't make this decision years ago. I was young and naïve."

She is young for a mom, having turned 29 just recently.

"I think that you did make the right call and we should just go back home."

"That isn't how it works. Now stop this guilt trip."

A long silence follows. Having nothing more to say, I just look at the heavy traffic and the herd of people running around with suitcases along the sidewalks. I hate this; I can deal with our more homely neighborhood, but even then, I only wander the streets when there is no one around. Mom says that she made a mistake in telling me stories about her life as a young kid in Azalea Town with her grandpa and Dopey, the family pet Slowpoke. They were so happy until one day, when she was just 10, it all stopped. Dopey had a brief yet painful death, the other Slowpoke followed and eventually, Mom came to learn that every single Pokémon was gone. Just like that, her life was turned upside down.

What exactly was I supposed to do with this information? The world I know is a shadow of its former self and people are just pretending that it's all okay. All I can think about is what if I had lived before this ugly change.

"There is a lot on your mind, isn't there, Ernie?"

Mom snaps me out of my usual daydreaming.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"That isn't good for someone your age. Trust me, the academy will do you good."

I have no witty comeback, which doesn't matter since we're about a minute away from the entrance gate. Yay.

"We're going to meet your homeroom teacher first. She'll get to know you a bit and tell us what to expect from your classes this year."

"They're going to be easy. You've taught me well, Mom."

She smiles. Soon enough, she pulls over and steps out of the car. I reluctantly follow suit.

"The teachers' lounge should be near the entrance. We're going to see Mrs. Leroy soon; she's a lovely person from what I gathered over the phone."

I have nothing to say again. As soon as we enter the building I see students running down the stairs or gathering around each other. Like a Combee hive, so to speak. Mom and I get past them and make our way to the lounge, where several teachers are chatting over a cup of tea - except for one.

"You must be Mayson and Ernest Orn. Welcome!" a blonde lady shouts.

"Hello, Mrs. Leroy. Excuse us for the lateness; traffic was awful," Mom replies.

"No problem. I'm just glad to meet you two."

Mom's eyes tell me to say something, but I can't even think of what to say to a complete stranger I want nothing to do with.

"Excuse my son; he's the shy type."

Mrs. Leroy smiles. She looks nice, but it's too soon for me to come out of my shell. I sit down at the table to get this over with already. Mom and Mrs. Leroy laugh about my hastiness, but then they join me.

"Well, let's get to business. I will be Ernest's homeroom teacher, which also means that I will be teaching him geography. The other subjects are math, language, science, computer science, social studies and physical education," the blonde teacher says.

"Social studies and physical education are not his strong suit, if to be honest," Mom laughs. Really now?

"What about geography? We're covering South America now," the blonde asks.

"Does that include Guyana?" I ask almost instinctually. Mrs. Leroy looks surprised and Mom sighs. I guess I need to explain.

"I learned a bit about Guyana while I was reading about the mythical Pokémon Mew."

Mrs. Leroy stops smiling. I must have said too much.

"What Ernest means is that Guyana is one of the countries we covered at home, but there is probably a lot more to learn about it."

Way to put words into my mouth, Mom.

"I know from your Mom that you really like to study about Pokémon. Right, Ernest?"

I nod.

"I understand that, but you see, most of our students aren't like you. They know very little about Pokémon."

"Why?"

"It's complicated. Let's just say that not everyone is as accepting as your mom is."

Mom's eyes no longer say anything. She just stays silent, but I have to say something.

"I think everyone deserves to know about our history, and Pokémon were a huge part of it."

"Ernest, that's enough," Mom interjects predictably.

"That's okay; I can answer his question. You're absolutely right that history is important, as far as the past is relevant to the present. Sadly, Pokémon are gone and have nothing to do with the world anymore. So the kids of today are better off learning other things and not worrying about the past."

Mom gives me piercing eyes. She knows that I want to have a debate, but warns me to drop the subject.

"Now then, I'm sure you want to meet your classmates. Shall we go?" Mrs. Leroy adds as if to assert her victory.

Suddenly, another woman comes out of nowhere.

"Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. My name is Giselle, and I will be Earnest's computer science teacher. Nice to meet you two."

Giselle? A fitting name for a brunette, but shouldn't I call her by her last name?

"Hi," I answer weakly.

"Earnest really likes computers. I bet that he is going to love your class," Mom says a little too eagerly.

Giselle looks intrigued.

"I can spot a bright kid from miles away. We have a special club for advanced students, and my gut is telling me that Earnest here will fit right in."

This is embarrassing. I don't know programming or anything special, so I doubt that I can live up to her expectations. I prefer math by a long shot.

"That sounds cool," I say lamely before Mrs. Leroy interferes.

"Thank you, Ms. Bernard. Earnest will see you tomorrow, and now there is a certain social studies class we don't want him to be late for."

I wave goodbye at Mom and Giselle, but the latter insists on shaking my hand.

"See you tomorrow, kid."

She leaves something in my hand, and it is the last thing I would expect: a Cubone earring.
 
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Sorry about the late response! Had a fic recommended to me on another site and have been devouring that. But I'll always make sure to pop in when prompted!

At first, this chapter doesn't seem like much in the grand scheme for the plot. It's just Ernest going to his new school. But I picked up on the brief mention of Ernest's mother's age and how that connects to Kris's side of the story. Still can't wait to learn what happened to make all the Pokemon suddenly drop dead like that.

I also liked the appearance of Giselle in the story. I thought that it was her at first, then figured that maybe you just picked a random name. Especially since Giselle wasn't much of an important character in the anime. When she handed Ernest the earring, my suspicions were confirmed! I wonder what she's been up to all these years.

My one bit of advice is to make sure to capitalize "mom" when using it in place of her name.

It took some time for me to get used to how little narration there is between the lines of dialogue. Conversations happen so fast without much happening between them. I personally like having some narration of what the characters are doing/thinking/reacting to while talking, but on the other hand, the quick pace of the dialogue does work for this.
 

Unown Seer

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Giselle is arguably the best choice for a Kanto teacher. Fun fact: She's an NPC in Yellow who references the "school isn't everything" line from the end of the anime episode.

Mayson is a mature version of Maizie, which is Kurt's granddaughter's name in the anime. There is an in-game reason why I gave her such a big role, but most people are unlikely to know about it.

And yeah, I need to work on more narration between dialogue lines, but I'm used to visual novels where there is often a stream of dialogue and the narration happens when the protagonist isn't in the middle of a conversation. It seems natural to me, at least when the setting is a house or a school.
 
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Unown Seer

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Chapter 4


Lyra and I are very close to Elm's lab. We've been quiet ever since we headed out from the bus station. I? feel nervous. What if Elm doesn't want to give me a starter Pok?mon? I've decided that no matter what, I will be honest about my intentions, which means?

"Well, here we are. This is the lab."

It is a good thing that Lyra is here, because my mind is betraying me. The lab's exterior is impressive, but there is something homely about it. Granted, the entire town exudes this feeling.

"Good. I can't wait to meet Prof. Elm."

Lyra just presses forward with Snout in her arms. She really is in a hurry, isn't she?

"Let me call him for you. I think that he may be upstairs in his home."

"His home is upstairs? That must be convenient."

Lyra goes outside, so I guess that the stairs aren't indoors. To pass the time, I look around. An assistant is staring at his computer and seems too busy to notice me. Before long, I see a little blond boy wearing glasses, who approaches me somewhat hesitantly.

"Hey, are you Dad's special visitor?"

"Why yes, I am. My name is Kris. What's yours?"

"Roger. I'm Daddy's head assistant."

I can't help but chuckle.

"Your dad must have a lot of faith in you. How do you get along with Lyra?"

"She's pretty cool, but I have to boss her around because she's scatterbrained."

Something tells me that the truth may be a bit different, but I admire his confidence.

"You might not be giving her enough credit, but you're lucky to work together."

He doesn't seem to agree, so he changes the subject.

"You're here for Chica, aren't you?"

"Chica? You mean Chikorita? I am actually not sure which starter is the best choice for me."

"There is no choice! Cinder and Toto aren't around anymore. Ethan picked Cinder, and that thief stole Toto."

"What thief?"

The boy just shrugs his shoulders. Obviously, he doesn't know anything about the thief's identity.

"Poor Toto. We all miss him."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe? Toto will come back someday."

"Ethan will bring him back! I know he will."

Suddenly, I hear a man's voice.

"Now, now Roger? Don't distract Kris with a sad story like that. This is an important day for her. Pleased to meet you, Kris."

The famous Prof. Elm is finally here, with Lyra and Snout right next to him. He is tall, slender and youthful looking, none of which come as a surprise.

"Likewise, professor! Thanks so much for having me."

"Don't mention it. It is about time Chica found a partner."

"But how did you know I wanted a starter?"

"I can read between the lines. You're a bit too young to only care about research papers, aren't you?"

"I do care about your research. I was hoping to discuss it, too."

"Well then, shall I introduce you to Chica first?"

"Absolutely!"

Elm takes out a Pok? Ball and summons a Chikorita. My new partner? is an energetic little thing. She runs towards me and sniffs me. A bit bossy, but I already like her.

"Chica is smelling your scent. A person with a bad odor isn't right for her."

"I hope I meet her standards? The ride here might have taken its toll on my hygiene."

But Chica seems satisfied. She rubs against me and I caress her leaf gently.

"You two will get along, I'm sure. I have a nose for this kind of thing."

"Go on, hug her!" Roger exclaims.

I pick up Chica and look at her eyes. I can tell that she is scanning me still, looking for validation of my desire to be with her. That's okay? I understand the hesitation. It's how I feel about people, too.

"Chica, will you be my partner?"

She shows me a small smile, as if to say that she is giving me a chance, but I'm on close watch. Fair enough!

"Don't forget her Pok? Ball," Elm adds.

"I don't need a Pok? Ball. Chica and I will walk together."

"You can do that even with her Pok? Ball present. That is what Ethan and Lyra do."

Lyra nods. Snout is playing with Chica without a care about our discussion.

"But? I don't want her to ever be alone."

"She wouldn't be alone. The Pok? Ball system allows Pok?mon to be together in cyberspace."

"Cyberspace? What's that?"

"A virtual simulation where Pok?mon play with each other. It is better than wild life because they don't have to live in fear of predator Pok?mon. The system is designed to create each Pok?mon's ideal habitat."

"But? that isn't the real world. Isn't an imaginary world a little sad?"

"Oh, Kris? You're a stubborn one, if you don't mind my saying. I think that you may have gotten the wrong impression from my papers."

Okay, I expected this attitude? But I can still hold my own.

"Have I? Isn't being with Pok?mon all the time the best way to bond with them?"

"It isn't practical if you want to train several Pok?mon. You can't watch them all forever."

"I think I can, professor. Please let me prove that to you."

I finally notice that Lyra is looking at me intently. She seems a little annoyed, but she finally joins the conversation.

"Oh professor, I think that Kris may have a point. I only have Snout, myself, but I'd like to catch more Pok?mon and test Kris' theory."

Catch Pok?mon? I wouldn't use that term for what I have in mind?

"Isn't it great, Kris? We have the same goal now."

"Yeah. I'm glad that you share my opinion, Lyra."

"I am curious to see if you're right! Wouldn't it be wonderful if trainers really could be with their Pok?mon all the time? Has any person accomplished that before?"

That's quite the change of tune from what she told me on the way here. What gives?

"There is no record of that. In fact, before Pok? Balls were invented, people had been limited to having a single partner," Elm clarified.

"Maybe they never tried training more than one?" I asked.

"I doubt it? People have always been curious, especially when it comes to Pok?mon. You are not the first to come up with this idea?"

"Professor, please don't discourage us. What's the harm in trying?" Lyra interjects.

"All I'm saying is that the smart thing for Kris to do is take Chica's Pok? Ball just in case. And in fact, she should take a supply of Pok? Balls for her journey."

"Okay, I will. But I am not going to use a single one."

"So stubborn? Just put them in your bag, young lady. What would your parents think of me if I didn't give you such basic advice?"

That last line was poignant, for reasons he couldn't know.

"So Lyra and Kris are rivals now?" Roger inquired, prompting Chica and Snout to stop playing.

"No way! I'd like to think that Kris is my colleague now. But first thing's first? We really need to finish the preparations for Ethan's welcome home party. Roger, will you give me and Rebecca a hand?"

"Who's Rebecca?" I wonder aloud.

"She's Ethan's mom. And the best cook in town!" Roger exclaims.

"I see. Could Chica and I stay for this party?"

"Of course! After all, Chica is dying to see Cinder again," Lyra says.

"Great! Thanks for having me."

Lyra stops smiling. I can't help but think that she may have been putting on an act during this conversation.

"Well, it's settled. Ethan is coming back this evening and we will all be there to congratulate him for his feats. That sure is exciting, isn't it kids?" Elm summarizes.

Lyra, Snout and Roger leave the lab to make their preparations. I am curious to meet Ethan, but the reason I came here is Chica. I hold her again to let her know, without speaking, that we are going to have a great journey together. Hopefully, I can truly start anew and forget about the past.

***​

After an extended playtime outside the lab, Chica falls asleep in my arms. I need to pass the time, and from a cursory glance through the window, it doesn't seem that Prof. Elm is doing much other than organizing books. Maybe we can talk some more? I'll go inside again and approach him.

"Professor, do you have a minute?"

He turns away from the library and looks at me.

"Hmm, certainly. What's on your mind?"

"Could you tell me what made you think of the Pok?walker project?"

"Sure. Have you heard of the previous trainer that entered the Hall of Fame?"

"Yes, his name is Red. I don't know much about him, though."

"Actually, Red is his nickname, while Ash is his official name. I guess that Red is his preferred name, though. Anyway, about three years ago Prof. Oak told me that Red had encountered a Pikachu near Pallet Town, and this Pikachu refused to stay inside its ball."

"Really? So some Pok?mon dislike cyberspace."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. That Pikachu is very much the exception to the rule."

Sometimes the exception proves the opposite rule.

"But that Pikachu proved something, right?"

"It seemed much more powerful than you'd expect from its species. That gave me the idea that walking might have a positive effect on a Pok?mon's potential, hence the Pok?walker project which I created to collect data on Pok?mon trained this way. However?"

"None of the participants showed the same effect as Red's Pikachu did, right?"

"Right. They definitely grew closer to their trainers, and they also attracted rare wild Pok?mon. But their battle skills were unaffected, so Pikachu may be an anomaly. Both Prof. Oak and I don't have a good theory about this, and it doesn't help that Ash ? I mean Red ? is gone."

"Gone?"

Before the professor can respond, I hear a voice from behind. Turning around, I see a woman about Prof. Elm's age and a black-haired boy wearing a mixture of red, yellow and black clothing.

"Professor, you sure know how to make my son feel special. Let's not talk about the previous champion today of all days, shall we?" the mom says light-heartedly.

"Mom! The world doesn't revolve around me," the boy says.

Talk about an awkward moment. Prof. Elm seems embarrassed, and I? can only assume that the boy in front of me is Ethan. His attire is nowhere near as fancy as you'd expect from a champion, but then, he is barely older than I am.

"My apologies, Rebecca. We were just talking about the Pok?walker business to pass the time before Ethan's arrival. Speaking of Ethan, you know how proud I am of you, right?"

"Of course. You were at a loss for words when we talked right after the Hall of Fame induction," Ethan says in an embarrassed tone.

"I'm just joking, you know," Rebecca replies. "I could blame the professor for not making it to Indigo Plateau, but then I wasn't there, either. And through no fault of my own!" She seems to be in good spirits despite her complaints. I can't help but be jealous of Ethan for yet another reason; even without Rebecca, he has so many people that care about him.

"I am not going to apologize for not telling you that I was going to Indigo Plateau, Mom. It was a stressful experience as it was. Now, could we stop talking about me and acknowledge that we are not alone here?" Ethan retorts and then looks at me, expecting an introduction.

"Oh, where are my manners? Kris, these are Ethan and his mom, Rebecca. Ethan and Rebecca, Kris here is Chica's new trainer," the professor says while looking at all three of the rest of us.

"Nice to meet you two," I say with a smile. Chica is still resting.

"Chica's new trainer, huh? You know, Chica was my first pick, but she didn't want me because I was too dirty for her," Ethan jokes to break the ice a bit. I keep smiling.

"I think she made a mistake, then. Congratulations on your victory."

Chica wakes up as soon as I've finished stuttering. She seems pissed.

"Oh, look who's up. I get the feeling that she's mad at me for not coming to visit more often."

Chica is tackling him. What's that all about? I thought he was joking about the smell business.

"Chica, that's enough!" I shout.

"Don't worry. This impulsive one just wants me to send out Cinder," he says while summoning a fairly striking Typhlosion that towers over Chica and soon hugs her. At first I worry that there might be an accident, but Cinder has no flames on his back since he's just resting now.

"These two really loved each other and still do," the professor explains for my benefit.

"And I'm the bastard that separated them," Ethan laughs again.

"Ethan, what sort of language is that?" Rebecca tells him off.

"Whatever. Kris, you should know that my name is Gold. Only the folks in New Bark call me Ethan."

"Because that's your real name!" Rebecca exclaims. A touchy subject?

"Gold is an interesting choice. What made you think of it?" I ask.

"I'll let you know after dinner!"

"Not before you take a shower and find some clean clothes. We don't want Chica to be upset, do we?" Rebecca says with a smirk.

"Sure. I'll see you two later, then," Ethan adds before heading off. Cinder stays behind with Chica.

I don't know what the dress code for this dinner is, but I do have a nice sweater I could wear. Not that any eyes will be on me... I like how Ethan ? okay, Gold ? is so down to earth. I was expecting someone wise beyond his years with zero patience for the likes of me. Could we actually have a few things in common? Will he judge me for not wanting to be a "real" trainer that battles and catches Pok?mon? Does it matter?
 
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It's interesting the parallels between Kris's story and Ernest's story, even the little ones. Like how Kris decided that she's not going to use Pokeballs to catch Pokemon, and Ernest's family worked on Pokeball technology. So I'm interested in seeing how what Kris discovers on her journey affects the future/present that Ernest is in.

Having all these characters from the games coming in is a real treat. The way you handle them is fun, and I'm always looking forward to seeing who else comes in and where you've taken their character.
 

icomeanon6

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First things first, I like this parallel structure you?re going for and how it takes place pre- and post-cataclysmic event. It makes the reader wonder about the mystery from two angles: what is Ernest going to learn about the extinction of Pokemon, and is Kris going to play some part in the event itself? And even though the two threads are very separate right now, there?s this little hint of a connection in the Pokeball?Ernest?s mom works with them, and Kris wants to see an end to them.

Add to that this cyberspace idea (an interesting way to address what Pokemon experience inside the ball! Hope we get to see more of it firsthand), and I?m itching to learn about how the die-off and the Pokeball connect. The mechanics of Pokeballs and their implications are one of my favorite topics for fanfiction; always like to see another writer start digging into them. Taking the walking mechanics from HG/SS and putting them at the center of Elm?s research and Kris?s character motivation against Pokeballs is a great idea.

One thing that distracts me is that the dialogue reads very similarly to the narration regardless of who?s speaking, which means you?re missing an opportunity to distinguish your characters through their voices. I think where this sticks out the most is in Kris?s dad?s second line:

"It is your own bloody fault that I lost her. It was you that should have died, but your mom paid the price for your worthless existence. She died in agony knowing that her death would be in vain."

Kris implies that he?s drunk here, but that?s not something the reader would guess by his word choice. Basically, he sounds too coherent, too well-spoken. This is a case where you really want to cut loose, ignore grammar if it helps, and make a character sound angrier and less articulate than they would if they were calm and sober. You have a very clean and precise style, which is good and a big help in keeping your narration clear, but it does mean you?ll want to go against your instincts sometimes when writing dialogue because humans can be messy when they're speaking.

Here are a few things I have questions about:

Granted, the entire town reeks of this feeling.

The word ?reeks? makes it sound like Kris really, really hates the idea of homeliness itself in addition to just her own home, which could be an interesting idea if that?s what you?re going for, but I can?t tell.

"Really? So some Pok?mon dislike cyberspace."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. That Pikachu is very much the exception to the rule."

Sometimes the exception proves the rule.

"But that Pikachu proved something, right?"

I?m having trouble following Kris?s thought process here. If she thinks Red/Ash?s Pikachu is an exception that proves the rule, then wouldn?t that mean she?s agreeing that the vast majority of Pokemon do like cyberspace?

Anyhow, I'm looking forward to seeing what the deal is with Giselle and the Cubone earring, perhaps next chapter? Both trainers seem to be on their way to something much bigger than themselves.

Keep at it! :D
 

Unown Seer

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@icomeanon6

Thanks for the nice thoughts. I agree that my word choice for Kris' dad wasn't great, and that some characters should make grammar mistakes to set them apart (I have tried to make Roger and Ethan use simpler vocabulary, at least). And yes, "reek" was not the word I was looking for, so I'm changing the sentence to "Granted, the entire town exudes this feeling."

Kris' thought process is that maybe Pikachu isn't an exception at all, and is actually showing what all Pokemon feel deep down. I'll change it to "the exception proves the opposite rule."

Expect the next chapter soon. I'm trying to work on a weekly basis.
 
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Bay

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Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two

Interesting take on Crystal's opening there. Those Unown sound ominous there. I too wonder how Suicune will be related to Kris and Ernest's story.

First chapter sets up an interesting premise with the mystery of all the Pokemon gone. Sounds like there's always a bit of tension between Ernest and his mother whenever the topic of Pokemon has been discussed.

Second chapter I admit I'm not the biggest fan of "kids having abused parents backstory" since that tends to be overused, but I'm assuming that will come to play as for her motiviations and such. Since it seems Team Rocket has been taken care of, should be interesting to see how Kris's journey will unfold

Chapters Three and Four
Everyone else mentions the parallel between Ernest's mother working with Pokeballs and Kris not wanting to use them, but yeah looks like the first hint of some foreshadowing there. I like Giselle's cameo there, didn't realize she was in Yellow heh. The part about Ernest's mom being young and naive makes me wonder about where is Ernest's dad and if there will be any mentions of him.

Since Kris's story takes place after GSC and HG/SS, I take it the lab didn't like breed another Totodile? Guess I found it kinda odd since I would thing the lab would prepare another starter after one is being picked (or stolen with the case of Silver).

Kris sure is persistent over not wanting to use pokeballs, wonder if that'll come back to bite her in the long term. Interesting Red/Ash reference there, and I'm liking your version of Ethan there.

Looking forward to more!
 

Unown Seer

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As I see it, Elm only gives starters to kids he finds promising. The anime implies that every kid in town gets a starter from the relevant professor, but the games don't. In fact, Elm gives the player a starter only after they agree to help him with his research. I like this aspect, so I adapted it.

As such, I don't think that he is in a hurry to breed more starters.
 
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Unown Seer

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Chapter 5​

I've been at the academy for three days now, and boy, has it been a dreadful experience. The place may be huge, and the cafeteria food isn't too shabby, but the dull teachers don't really teach me anything interesting that I don't already know. And my classmates? They're either being immature with each other or worrying about exams. I try to go unnoticed, but I can barely resist the urge to get my teachers to acknowledge the truth, which is that the world used to be far better than it is now.

There is one source of hope, though. That earring? Why did Giselle give it to me? When I approached her after class on the second day, she just smiled and told me to come to the "computer lovers" club this Saturday, which is tomorrow. Right now, I'm just waiting for Grandpa to pick me up from school, while Mom is busy doing who knows what. He's late, and I'm forced to sit on the bench with two other kids.

"Hey, four eyes," a black-haired boy from my class shouts at me from the adjacent bench. I just give him a surprised look; he may not be big, but he looks rugged and fierce.

"Yeah, you. I sort of remember your name, but it's so dumb," he mocks. Charming.

"Well, I don't know your name, so I'm honored that you remember mine," I reply.

"You think you're clever, huh? You're a mama's boy, is what you are."

"Have I done anything to you?"

"You think you're so special ? that you're better than the rest of us. Snap out of it."

"How do you know what I think? I haven't said a word until now."

"Which says it all. You're a stuck up nerd," he says and then gets up, walking up to me. "I don't care for snobs, quiet or loud. You're no better than me, understand? If you don't, I'll make ya."

He grins smugly for a while and then leaves. The other kids don't seem to care about what has just happened. What the hell should I do about this? I'd be lying if I said he didn't give me a fright, and yet I don't even know his name. A while back, Mom told me that she didn't want me to go to school because I might get bullied. I guess it's easy for her to forget that, since I'm the one being attacked now. Damn!

After a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself, Grandpa finally shows up in his blue car.

"Hey there, my one and only grandson. Hop in," he tells me. I pick up my bag from the bench and walk toward the front door of the car.

"Hi, Grandpa. I was worried that you might not come." He starts driving again toward his house, and not a minute too soon. Even the drivers behind are losing their patience.

"Now, that's silly. I was just held up a bit longer than planned."

"I can imagine. Even Mom is working overtime out of the blue. You two must be onto something, huh?"

"Nice try. Let's talk about school instead." I was na?ve to think that he would be more honest than Mom.

"Eh. Classes are okay, except for physical education which wore me out."

"How's your math teacher?" He gives me a glance while keeping his eyes on the road.

"A bit too chatty. She spends too much time on trivial stuff."

"Trivial to you. Remember that your background is special." Thanks, Sherlock. I didn't ask to go to school.

"Whatever. Actually, there is one teacher I find interesting ? the computer science teacher."

"Oh? I didn't know you were interested in computer science."

"Well, that is not the reason she's interesting. I can tell you why, but only if you don't tell Mom." He pauses, as if to think what could go wrong.

"Now I'm intrigued. Fine, it will be our secret as long as it isn't anything crazy."

"She gave me a Cubone earring on my first day. I think she was trying to tell me something."

"Tell you what?"

"I am not sure yet."

He keeps thinking, while waiting for the pedestrians to clear the road. A woman and her baby are taking their sweet time. "Have you talked to her since then?"

"No. I had a class with her two days ago, but it was just about RAM and stuff. When the lesson was over, she invited me to her club for advanced students."

"Advanced? But your Mom only taught you the basics about computers, right? You don't even have one at home."

"Giselle, the teacher, doesn't seem to care. I think the club has to do with the earring." He sighs.

"Keep me updated. This sounds a little weird to me, but we'll see."

"Okay. And you'll remember your promise, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Your mom doesn't have to know everything, and she has enough on her plate."

Enough on her plate? What the hell are they working on? It's clear that neither one of them will tell me.

"In other news, I'm going to cook a lentil casserole for dinner. I'll let you pick the movie."

"Timegate Traveler. I know where to find it online."

"What's that about?"

"A world where Pok?mon control people. Their leader is a Ledian of all things. Sounds cool, right?" He chuckles and gives me a smile.

"Where do you come up with this stuff? Not that I mind. I'm looking forward to our Ledian overlords."

I smile back, but the casual feeling doesn't last long as I ponder if a movie like that is fitting for the era we live in.

***​

It's a new day and I'm back in the academy ? just for Giselle's club, fortunately. Last night was pretty great, if only for the casserole and Grandpa cracking jokes during the movie. Mom joined us toward the middle, and luckily, she didn't seem to mind the subject matter.

I needed the distraction from my problems? I deliberately didn't mention the bully to either one of them because I didn't want them to worry about me, as much as I'd like to make Mom regret her decision. Perhaps that boy wasn't completely wrong about me; I do consider myself better than the other kids, who barely know a thing about the most exciting aspect of our world. So what if Pok?mon are extinct? That is no excuse. At the same time, those kids are not responsible for their ignorance; their parents and teachers are. Maybe they need someone like me to fill in the blanks for them. I like that idea... Here I go again, considering myself special.

Before I can untie my thoughts, I need to find out what's going on with Giselle. The academy is almost empty, as Saturday is a day off except for some of the clubs. I feel more at ease walking along the hall when I don't have to worry about taller kids blocking my path. There sure are a lot of classes on the first floor alone. All I care about is the computer lab.

"Good morning there, kid. I was beginning to worry that you might not show up." Giselle emerges from behind me, holding a cup of tea. I guess that she made her way from the teachers' longue.

"Good morning, Ms. Bernard."

"Now, now? Didn't I tell you to call me Giselle?"

"You did on the first day, but then the other kids in class referred to you by your last name."

"Those kids aren't members of our club," she smiles mysteriously. I can't read this woman at all, but then I can only read my family.

"This club? How many members are there?"

"Just three, including you and me."

What?

"I'm confused. You couldn't find more students who like computer science? You chose me as soon as we met."

"How odd indeed," she keeps smiling while sipping her tea. "Well, what are we standing around for?"

She gives me a signal to enter the lab. Still confused, I may as well find out what this is all about. Giselle soon opens the door, but the room is empty.

"Is our third member late?" I ask her.

"Nope. He's right on time," she replies and proceeds to unlock another door I never noticed during the regular class two days ago. The hidden room is fairly small, and there is indeed another person inside. He's a chubby kid who is giving me a wave, as if we know each other.

"Ernest, meet Alan. Alan, meet Ernest," Giselle says.

"Giselle has told me a lot about you. I'm so excited that we have a new member at last!" Alan exclaims, puzzling me more.

"Hi. I actually don't know anything about you," I say weakly.

"Alan here is the best programmer in the academy, and he's been helping me with a secret project. One that I'm sure you will find interesting," she explains in her mysterious way.

"That's right. A year ago Giselle enlisted me to resurrect the PBS system that was created in ancient times."

"PBS? Ancient times?" I ask in a bewildered tone.

"Come on, Alan. There is no need to confuse him even more. Ernest, PBS is an acronym for the Pok?mon Battle Simulator, which does exactly what the name says ? simulate Pok?mon battles via a computer game. This system was created in Pok?mon Tech, which is where I studied when I was about your age. That was not in ancient times!"

"Then when was it?" Alan grins.

"Didn't your mom teach you not to pry when it comes to a woman's age?" she retorts without a note of amusement.

"A battle simulator, eh? But if it was already created? a while ago, then what is it you're working on?"

"Making it more realistic, of course! The old simulator just had Pok?mon follow turn-based commands. That may make for an interesting game, but we care about realism!" she says with passionate eyes.

I pause to consider what she's saying. A way to simulate battles as realistically as possible, when the subject matter no longer exists? Isn't that morbid? I have to explain my reservations, but I'll try not to sound judgmental.

"Well, the idea sounds cool, but battles aren't the reason why I care about Pok?mon. Above all, I want to understand their history, and most importantly ? what happened to them." Giselle doesn't look surprised, but Alan is not pleased.

"Then go become a professor or something. History is boring," he says derisively.

"Alan, cut that out. What Ernest is saying is perfectly reasonable, and I didn't invite him to help with programming shenanigans. This club is not just for PBS development."

"I'm confused. So what is the reason you invited me?" I ask.

"The beta of PBS 2 has attracted quite a bit of attention from people all over the world. We've opened a bulletin board for people to discuss, well, Pok?mon. There are thousands of posts already in just one month, and reading them all is no easy job."

"So you want me to do it? Are those posts interesting?"

"Most of them are garbage, if to put it bluntly. But my gut is telling me that there has to be something of interest. Don't ask me what ? that's for you to find out."

Finally, she gets to the point. Alan has lost interest in the conversation and has gone back to typing, which doesn't bother me. I think I understand Giselle's reasoning: About 15 years ago, the government passed a law to keep the Internet Pok?mon-free for the sake of "keeping the youth focused on the future." There were a lot of protests, but ultimately most people were in favor of the proposed law. That all happened before I was even born, so the Internet has been useless when it comes to my Pok?mon studies. But some movies can still be found on sketchy websites, perhaps because they're meant to be viewed as pure fiction.

"This bulletin board must be using special encryption so that the government can't detect it, right?" I ask to verify my conclusion. Giselle's eyes widen; I guess she didn't expect me to say anything like that.

"Correct. Even the PBS 2 is encrypted, or the website would have been taken down in a day. Unfortunately, this is the world we live in, but I have dedicated many years to this project and now it's a reality."

"Impressive. I'm skeptical about random posts, but I don't have anything better to do in my spare time and I figure that something is bound to come up."

"Your enthusiasm is absolutely contagious," she laughs. "Then let me show you to your computer and load the bulletin board for you. You'll need a user name and a password."

"How about Espeon Orb? I'll let you pick the password, since I'm doing this for you and all." She nods and types away. The screen turns green; this bulletin board looks like computer software from the 80s, which I've seen in some movies.

"Here you go. The password is TechCubone96."

"Cubone? That reminds me: Why did you give me that earring?"

"That was just my way of hinting at there being more to me than meets the eye. Now that the earring has served its purpose, I want it back," she says very seriously. She can be a bit scary sometimes.

"I don't have it on me. I'll bring it for our next session, okay?" She nods, but her mind seems to be elsewhere.

"I'm guessing that you had a Cubone back in the day, didn't you?" I ask to confirm another suspicion. I've also worked out that she's about 37 if she was around my age in 1996?

"Yes, I did. He was my special partner, but we're not going to talk about my past today."

"Fair enough. I'll get started, then." Alan stares at me. I guess he has something to say.

"I hope that you can get this side project over with quickly so that you can at least be my beta tester." He already has plenty of beta testers?

"Only if you're nice," I retort. He has no comeback, so he turns around with a frustrated face. Hey, he had it coming.

I guess that this club? is quite a bit more than I expected. I have no idea if I can learn anything from a bulletin board, but I'm excited to have something to do that I care about. It stands to reason that someone is going to use a secret forum to speak up about what happened, right? I can only hope so.
 
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So finally the computer club Giselle runs is explored. I'm still liking the references that you have to the past, tying in all the various canons. I do feel bad for Ernest, since he's getting bullied for no real reason (except for being a kid that doesn't act like a kid) and has to deal with that on top of getting information from the bulletin board Giselle showed him.

Just have to say that I had to remind myself that Ernest's dialogue won't sound like a typical kid's dialogue because he's been so sheltered. But I think that some of the other character's dialogue sounds close to Ernest's. The dialogue in Kris's parts comes off better, sounding more natural. I'll see if my opinion stays the same as more characters are introduced in Ernest's chapters.
 

Unown Seer

Earnest
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@Astinus

Could you give me an example or two from this chapter of dialogue that sounds like Ernest's?
 
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It was mostly with Alan's dialogue and the bully's dialogue. I figured that since they weren't sheltered like Ernest was, that they'd sound a little "looser" with their words. With the bully, it was mostly that he used the word "delusional" which I wouldn't expect someone that hates nerds to use. And Alan really didn't have much of a character in his dialogue.

Like Giselle's character came out a little in her dialogue, with her retort of not asking a woman about her age and saying that her "gut" is telling her to pay attention to the board's posts. She still sounded like the character that was in the anime/games. Same with the characters in Kris's last chapter. Ethan/Gold's excitement about becoming the champion and his annoyance at being called Ethan came through in his dialogue.

I think I'm saying what Anon said in his review about your dialogue. You're on the right track when you have the bully say "ya" instead of "you." Having the bully use "delusional" didn't really seem to fit, though. Even just switching that to "you're crazy" would make the bully seem like more of a twelve-year-old jerk.
 

Unown Seer

Earnest
179
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14
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  • Seen Dec 6, 2020
I did hesitate when I used "delusional" there. I'll change it to "snap out of it" and keep this example in mind for the future.

I think that Alan's character comes through teasing Giselle and his little quarrel with Ernest. He's a bit of a jerk, but he means well.
 
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