Novelty Pokemon Mafia

A young Farfetch'd used to play with his friend by the river. This friend, a Vulpix, was a very close one, and they had played by the river several times before without incident. But this time the ground was slippery from heavy rain, and Vulpix, unable to keep her balance, fell into the depths of the river. Many Pokemon attempted to help, but neither the Marill living near the river nor the Whishcash taking residence at the bottom could save her. Downstream her body was found, and she was no more.

There was an old legend telling about a Pokemon that flew through the skies. It's wings brought forth rainbows, and it could bring the dead to life. Few had ever seen it, and even fewer knew where it lived. Farfetch'd, remembering this from his bedtime stories, went to the town elders in a bid to find this beast and revive his friend but received little support. Pidgeot told him it was too dangerous. Sawsbuck questioned the logic of trying to find something that possibly didn't even exist. Carnivine frowned and shook her head, telling him such a search could only lead to heartache. But Farfetch'd couldn't give up; he loved his friend far too much. So behind their backs he packed his things and set off, trying to find this mythical Pokemon.

Through village after village he wandered, and bit by bit he learned of an old sage, living on top of a faraway mountain. His name was Xatu, and he was rumored to be very wise and all knowing. He got a tip for his exact location from a kind old Quagsire, who warned him his journey would be treacherous. But he couldn't give up now. All he could think of was Vulpix. So he scaled the mountain, fighting off the Yanma, the Girafarig, the Natu and the Ambipom that lived there. Wore down and nearly spent, he finally reached the summit.

Xatu stared silently while Farfetch'd caught his breath. As he opened his beak to his astonishment he greeted him by name, and welcomed him to the peak of the mountain. Farfetch'd got straight to the point, and asked him about the shining Pokemon that flew through the sky.

"Ho-Oh? It lives far beyond here, beyond fiery volcanoes and barren plains and dense forests. You must go east, and continue going east until you find a shrine filled with shining feathers and ash, and if your heart is pure it will appear to you. But I must warn you; you will encounter a great evil if you continue your attempt, and your quest will end in failure. I'm very sorry; I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But it will be by your own wing your friend will remain dead."

Farfetch'd couldn't believe it. He came to Xatu for encouragement, not for this. But even so, he still couldn't give up. So he went back down the mountain and went east toward the rising sun. He traveled for many days and nights, and sure enough he happened upon a volcano overflowing with fire and ash. He attempted many times to conquer it but his feathers were burned, and his feet were singed, and his body was bruised by the Heatmor, Zweilous, Rapidash, Quilava and Onix that infested the place. He simply could not prevail.

He sat at the entrance crying. Was all he had done for nothing? Will Vulpix remain asleep deep below the village? He was mad with grief. In spite of his determination, he was simply too weak to overcome the volcano's hazards. Suddenly he heard a ghastly noise and lifted his head. Before him was something uncanny and terrifying. It was as if a Gardevoir merged with a Tentacruel towered before him. But there was no body or face or even eyes, just tentacles and a star-filled growth on its head. Farfetch'd was horrified. This was no man or beast or Pokemon. The creature floated before him for a moment. Then it spoke, though he knew not how.

"You poor thing, you look so tired and burnt up. What brought you to this place?" It tilted the top of its body to the side as if confused. Quaking in terror, Farfetch'd nervously explained how he got there. "So your friend won't wake up, and you heard if you went east past here you could find someone who could revive her? Um..." It moved one of its tentacles to the middle of itself. "I don't mean to sound rude, but I don't think you thought this through very well. Maybe you should have stayed home?"

Farfetched shook his head. The odd creature tilted itself the other way. "Well… if you're that determined to find this creature… I can help you, if you're interested. But I'm not so sure you'll want me to lend you my power..." Farfetch'd didn't like the thing standing before him, and he certainly didn't like what it had to say. But if it could get him past the volcano… his friend was worth any risk. "Well, alright… but I warned you..."

In a moment the sadness that filled Farfetch'd's heart seem to lift. He felt more powerful... it was as if he could do anything. Together with his new companion he again attempted to conquer the volcano, and with its help he succeeded. After their descent a barren, brown plain spread before them filled with Joltik, Durant, Blitzle, Luxio and Electrike. He charged at them with reckless abandon, striking them down with his Stick even as their electricity surged through his once frail body. Not even pain itself seemed to matter anymore. He felt a sense of euphoria as he slashed and swiped until all who stood in his way lay on the ground unmoving. The strange thing that empowered him lagged behind and seemed sad. It knew this would happen. It always did.

The forest at the end of the plain was filled with the soft glow of Volbeat and Illumise. Farfetch'd entered with his companion feeling the happiest he'd ever felt in his life. He looked behind to see his benefactor drag behind. He could have swore it was looking at the ground, but without a face it was hard to tell. He asked what was wrong.

"Thanks for your concern… Are you feeling alright now?" Farfetch'd happily nodded his head. "Ok… try not to get too… excited, alright? Please?" As they traveled through the forest, encountering more Pokemon, Farfetch'd attacked with even more and more zeal and delight. It constantly looked behind to make sure its new friend was alright, taking extra care to ensure any Pokemon that got within 5 feet of it became a bloody mess. It was all Farfetch'd seemed to want to think about now.

At long last they came to the base of a huge mountain, taller than any Farfetch'd had seen before. Strange ruins dotted the sides, adorned with writing neither of them knew how to read. As they traveled up it Farfetch'd resumed his bloodthirsty behavior, obsessed with protecting his partner. He didn't know why he felt this way, but he was too far gone to care. At the top of the mountain lay a gold shrine, covered in grey ash and feathers that shined with every color. The place looked deserted, but Farfetch'd couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched. Suddenly he heard a roar; he turned around and before him stood a colossal beast, covered in large scales with sharp teeth and a club-like tail. He leaped in front of the creature, his leek-like Stick drawn. He couldn't wait to rush into battle.

"Kommo-o? It's alright. There's no need to fight." Out of the shadows came odd creatures shaped like the script they had seen on the sides of the ruins. "They are our guests." They were surrounded by these strange living letters, and Farfetched stood in place as one of them approached him. "Hello. We are Unown. We guard the shrine here. Who are you, and what brings you here?"

Farfetch'd thought for a moment. What was it he had come here for again? He had forgotten all about what brought him here; it didn't seem all that important when compared to his new friend. After much thought he finally remembered his fallen friend, and emotionlessly explained this to the Unown.

"Your loyalty to your friend is admirable. However the Pokemon you seek will not come to you in your current condition. Go home."

Farfetch'd couldn't accept this. In a blind rage he attacked the Unown, slicing through them as if they were butter. The Kommo-o clanged its scales together and retaliated, and the two fought bitterly against the setting sun. At long last silence reigned throughout the shrine. Farfetch'd stood victorious, covered in his opponents' blood. The creature that had accompanied him all this time sighed. "I'm sorry… this was all a huge mistake." Farfetch'd was confused. "Please forgive me."

Farfetched awoke, his body drenched with rain. He looked around, wondering where he was. All he could remember was poison painfully surging through his body… suddenly he clutched his head in his wings. He began to remember his bloody assault on the shrine. He cried in the rain. Though his original goal had been a just one, his heart was no longer pure. There's no way he could get Ho-Oh to show itself now.

Surrounded by his mistakes and with the alien that had helped him this far gone, he wandered away in the rain, never to return.