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[PKMN OPEN] Off The Menu [Aw, ain't you a big tickle?] [T] [OOC]

Ech

275
Posts
7
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  • Age 104
  • Seen Oct 30, 2018
Writing in size five text, what an absolute madwoman

Hahaha, my biggest peeve is when people use certain fonts but don't make the size bigger so my eyes start dying

Another issue are people who don't manually set their font colours (i.e, change from default), so when I use certain themes their text becomes invisible on certain backgrounds.

Glowy said:
Hm, interesting. I find it hard to believe her family was in power, given the background (and that her "mother was a feral and she never knew how to be civilized," so... perhaps friends she made in the city that we don't know about gave her jobs in the business? You have me wondering now.

Well I'm glad you're wondering about it, because I'm pretty sure this was a pretty big detail I accidentally left out while trying to make the deadline. I'm going to elaborate and fix up my app, since it needs some ironing. But at least it's done, right???

Ordy said:
It's weird hearing a Pokemon refer to themselves with this term, when Pokeballs, the very thing that allows them to fit in pockets, are a forgotten relic along with the humans that disappeared.

Well, humans still existed and remnants of their culture are still around -- which was explored in Qui-Qui's app -- and Vissi was explicitly named after a real life song that was made by humans. The impression I'm following is that the name Pocket Monsters, as well as its contracted variant Pok?mon, was burrowed from the era when Pok?mon were still domesticated by humans and they simply adopted the term to refer to themselves as a whole, considering all Pok?mon are related.

Vissi probably uses the term Pocket Monsters more frequently just to sound formal, since referring to her kind as creatures would seem too generic for someone like her. But I get where you're coming from, and it did make me wonder about the whole thing. And I guess by my logic this could the equivalent of a human unironically referring themselves as a homo sapien. BUT Vissi isn't exactly normal either so it stills fits her character so I guess I'm keeping that quirk, unless Kiyo highly disagrees with me again and makes me eat shit. She is definitely a little weird.

I have to make up for Cadbury the 2nd's absence and make my character just as psychotic


Orx said:
P.S. potential picture of Vissi and her momma dearest

D'aaaawwww
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
Posts
7
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Well, humans still existed and remnants of their culture are still around. The impression I'm following is that the name Pocket Monsters, as well as its contracted variant Pok?mon, was burrowed from the era when Pok?mon were still domesticated by humans and they simply adopted the term to refer to themselves as a whole, considering all Pok?mon are related.

I understand. It was my impression that the Pokemon don't know everything about the humans. They adopt essences of the culture they left behind, but. Would they know that humans used to use small balls to capture them? Considering they don't even seem to know about humans themselves, solidly. If I'm understanding that last bit correctly.
 

Ech

275
Posts
7
Years
  • Age 104
  • Seen Oct 30, 2018
Would they know that humans used to use small balls to capture them?

giphy.gif


i mean, maybe the really old seniors?

lol, i don't honestly know, i just wanted to say Pocket Monsters to acknowledge the fact we're playing as them rofl
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
Heeeeey party people, since it's deadline time, here are statuses on Sign-Ups:

Vissi D'Arte the Primarina

Her SU is Pending until you do that "overhaul" you mentioned to me in private and I can slip you my commentary. I really like the ideas you proposed to me about her Secret, but since you said you wanted a little more time to really centralize it - I believe? - I'll set this on Pending too.

Really good stuff I'm seeing, though!

James Cadbury the Linoone

Aaaaand with my commentary reel for your latest changelog:

Spoiler:

You can consider our favorite guest star on Downton Abbey Approved. And we already ironed out his Secret, so that's Approved too.

Bun T. the Rotom

Can't very well make your SU anything other than Pending until you finish up that background, and while I'm aware of what his Secret is, I still haven't received your official PM about it and given you feedback, so that has to be put on Pending too.

Qui-Qui the Salazzle

Your SU is absolutely Approved! And we've gone over your Secret for her, and literally just solidified it, so that's Approved too.

Rose the Pyukumuku
A Grass-Type
[SU Template]

giphy.gif

As it stands 2/5 slots have been officially filled, and I will be shifting to a first-finished-after-critique-first-served model tomorrow and current WIPs will lose their priority, because y'all had two weeks and I want to get started on the IC soon and need at least four approved players.

Anyway, onto other matters:

is that something he'll be possessing regularly instead of a normal form with no "solid" body?

I assume it is, considering that he has a separate light bulb without the tie paint that he possesses outside of work. Maybe he has a strong preference, or Grelz will be expanding some Rotom lore in his background that makes them unable or uneasy towards not possessing an object for long periods of time.

I'm baffled how you managed to tilt photos like that in CSS as well as overlay them, super nifty trick.

gee, how cool, i wonder who discovered that trick in the first place, what a guy they must've been, hm

great newspaper article, which is also a clever way of presenting your story.

Outside of the commentary reel: Ech, I also really enjoy how you expanded on Vissi's background via different methods, and killed two birds with one stone by including your prompt as one of the sections! Very crafty, and it lends so much graceful melancholy to her character. Just wanted to let you know ahead of time that I really appreciate the creativity you exhibit.

May I ask, what genre of band are the Indigo Spots?
Quick Future Quote from Ech said:
The genre is most likely doo wop heard in the 50's, though Vissi has an affinity for the blues. She ironically does not sing the piece she was named after, as I decided to keep allusions to human culture to a minimum.

I imagined them to be a sly reference to (The Ink Spots), especially considering that they're pretty period to the RP's aesthetic (though mainly popular in the 30's/40's and disbanding in 1954, but hey, I still listen to late-90's music today and adore the Ink Spots, so whatever) and a jab at me for mentioning Fallout in the workshop thread (as their song "I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire" had a resurgence in popularity for a while thanks to it being the trademark song of Fallout 3.) I assume it was similar in brand, but more female and seal.

Or perhaps a combination of that and (The Indigo Girls)? They're 80's-on, but a big hit with the gays, and I remember Ech changed the gender he was going to make Vissi just so she could gay-googly-eye Lombardi, so hmmmmm, I'm onto you.

In any case, I love the name.

Back to Glowy said:

This is my new favorite image.

you can reference the article as anyone else can, since that's the reason why I struggled so hard to write it like one

"The Vissi D'Arte? I'm a busy man - can't get out to expensive venues or the theatre, you understand - but I tried to catch every televised concert of the Indigo Spots I could! I had no idea you had made a reservation for tonight --

... why are you wearing one of those waiter ties?"

I'm quite interested in the possibility of someone or everyone recognizing her, and how she would react! I personally haven't decided if Carmine has heard of her, and if he has if he would care or not; "you're working for me now, go bus that table," but I have a feeling PJ totally has regardless.

Some possible music for your character.

giphy.gif

I 100% endorse these sweet tunes.

potential picture of Vissi and her momma dearest that I found on devart today

too bad she probably resents her mom like all cicaros internally do

Another issue are people who don't manually set their font colours, so when I use certain themes their text becomes invisible

I feel like I always forget to do this, since I'm so used to using a light theme and don't understand why others don't.

Retroactive Quote from Glowy said:
It's weird hearing a Pokemon refer to themselves with this term, when Pokeballs, the very thing that allows them to fit in pockets, are a forgotten relic along with the humans that disappeared
The impression I'm following is that the name Pocket Monsters, as well as its contracted variant Pok?mon, was burrowed from the era when Pok?mon were still domesticated by humans and they simply adopted the term to refer to themselves as a whole, considering all Pok?mon are related

For once, I highly agree with Ech; that is the mindset I take with the idea. "Pokemon" is simply a term they've heard for eons and adopted themselves to refer to their generalized population. It's kinda like if animals evolved and referred to themselves as "Animals" to differentiate themselves from "Humans," and more educated (or pretentious) folk will have the means to research and find out the root words for these terms.

And also, relics like PokeBalls still exist and may exist in museums or the black market. They're just not fully understood/completely taboo. Humans have left behind enough record of their history and their dealings - especially since their society wasn't decimated, it simply ceased one day - that Pokemon in OTM would be able to extract plenty of information about their world, even if they were born after their demise.​
 

Dragon

lover of milotics
11,151
Posts
10
Years
I'll honestly say that I... have run dry on the idea tank on this one; I tried very much mind you, but my ideas weren't up to par on the character I'd want to RP as, not did they make... any sense. @_@

Ergh, don't feel pressured on saving a spot for me now; I'm not sure what to do on this point... I'd much rather not waste everyone's time. D:
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
Posts
7
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Yesssss, these kinds of details give him such a nice edge and provocative angle. I'm very much looking forward to him trying to show his less-than-thrilled co-workers how proper service is done.

LOOK AT THIS LOVELY INTERNAL DIALOGUE!

Debating with himself, expressing ticks; this is all interesting stuff that lets me sink my teeth into the character and want to read further to see what he eventually decides. Excellent work here, Glowy.
Thank you Kiyo!

Who's Kiyo? said:
Glow said:
?Ah, I? Inside? I'm afraid you caught me unprepared, I? I wasn't planning on extending tonight's festivities beyond the bistro.?
Who's Kiyo? said:
Mental images are already forming in his head, and in turn giving rise to another blush overtop his muzzle. How can he gracefully bow out of this?
Even with the same result, I love seeing the struggle here. Cadbury displays so much more character in this version: like he still kinda wants to go inside, but he's pinned by his nervousness and the image of what he thinks he should be. It feels like he's so much more alive, that he breathes and has thoughts even if we don't necessarily get to read them directly.
Thanks to this too, but I just wanted to point out that the latter quote was in fact in my first draft of the roleplay too. This whole section was just expanded on, so that same bit of dialogue was bumped down to a later paragraph.
Wait, that's not relevant I guess. I'm running my mouth!

Who's Kiyo? said:
light bulb without the tie paint that he possesses outside of work.
I actually don't see anything about the Rotom's appearance in the SU post, only in your response to it, which confuses me. Tie paint sounds charming but I can't read about it anywhere <_>

Who's Kiyo? said:
Glow said:
This is my new favorite image.
Source: http://askpolitoed.tumblr.com/post/80122567852/
Context: The whole bit Raichu is ripping there is totally Politoed's thing. And a repeated joke, at that (I just linked one instance).

The same tumblr is also responsible for this excellent reaction gif:
TNVIYLZ.gif

Who's Kiyo? said:
"The Vissi D'Arte? I'm a busy man - can't get out to expensive venues or the theatre, you understand - but I tried to catch every televised concert of the Indigo Spots I could! I had no idea you had made a reservation for tonight --

... why are you wearing one of those waiter ties?"

I'm quite interested in the possibility of someone or everyone recognizing her, and how she would react!
Well now you're just giving me ideas, Kiyo.

Who's Kiyo? said:
I 100% endorse these sweet tunes.
Thanks, Homestuck is a good source for lyricless mood music in my personal opinion. It helps that they have way more music in their many albums than they actually end up using in their comic. Oh, and they have youtubers like luminantAegis doing extension videos.

Who's Kiyo? said:
I feel like I always forget to do this, since I'm so used to using a light theme and don't understand why others don't.
Themes/skins with dark backgrounds are easy on my eyes. I'm using the Soaring to the Moon theme right now, and have been ever since it was added. It complements the dark CSS in your OP nicely, actually.
 

Ech

275
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7
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  • Age 104
  • Seen Oct 30, 2018
gee, how cool, i wonder who discovered that trick in the first place, what a guy they must've been, hm

idk who this pretentious schmuck is, but would be nice if they made a css guide that's actually helpful for RPT.


I imagined them to be a sly reference to (The Ink Spots),

MAYBE, YOU'LL THINK OF ME
WHEN YOU ARE ALLL ALONE

(wish my voice was sexy contralto so I could do a cover for Vissi)

I think your approval on the name alone made me decide against doing the overhaul, since I would be omitting the band entirely in favor of making Vissi a traditional actress. Instead, I'm going to keep the focus on her as a singer, and she may have dabbled in some musicals. Also, I remember that I really like Ink Spots -- who cares about Fallout (can those who opted out make a Fallout RP).

I feel like I always forget to do this, since I'm so used to using a light theme and don't understand why others don't.

Dark themes like Jupiter actually make the CSS for your OP look sexier.

also rip, i also forget to change my font colours



Anyways, I'm done. I added more details about Vissi's mom, tried my best to explain HOW she was even able to get the opportunity to pursue a career in the first place, and other minor corrections like fixing up my syntax and grammatical errors like the ones Glowy pointed out. (also thank you, since I didn't actually say that the first time)

Hopefully it all checks out and my character is being presented properly.
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
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7
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Dark themes like Jupiter actually make the CSS for your OP look sexier.
What's the difference between "Souring for the Moon" and "Jupiter"? The themes look identical unless I'm missing something.

Ech said:
I added more details about Vissi's mom, tried my best to explain HOW she was even able to get the opportunity to pursue a career in the first place
Well, I found the part about mother dearest, but I'm having trouble finding the other new thing(s) you added, with regards to an opportunity for career. Changelog, perhaps? Or at least give me a keyword to ctrl-F? I'd appreciate it!

P.S. Sounds like Vissi is on hugging terms with her momma after all, Kiyo~
 

Ech

275
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7
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  • Age 104
  • Seen Oct 30, 2018
P.S. Sounds like Vissi is on hugging terms with her momma after all, Kiyo~

lol, i'm surprised you honestly think that if you read Vissi's prompt

Also, a changelog feels excessive atm. Unless Kiyo asks for one specifically, I don't really see the point? I didn't really edit a lot so I don't think you or anyone would have too much trouble figuring what I added in. I mean, the biggest change was for my prompt where Vissi talks about her family. I just elaborated on the mom and what she does for a living, which hopefully justifies how she managed to get tutors and stuff.


Also, I don't know what the difference is, lmao. I didn't even know they looked the same. Also I just use whatever is PC's default theme
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
Finished Vissi D'Arte

giphy.gif

Since we've already gone over Appearance and Moveset, let's just get to the new bits:

Spoiler:

Your secret is Approved, by the way! I feel like I need your response to this reel before fully accepting you, though.

Anyway, other matters:

Ergh, don't feel pressured on saving a spot for me now; I'm not sure what to do on this point

Aw, that's disappointing to hear. Sorry you couldn't find anything that works for you. :/

If you'd like to workshop some ideas in the thread or with me in private to see if we can't help flesh Rose out or start you on another character, you're more than welcome to stick around!

I'm running my mouth!

I know what was in your original prompt silly, the way it combines with your additions just make it stronger, was my point. But yes, quiet, ssh, take my compliments damnit.

I don't see anything about the Rotom's appearance

Scroll over the party icon, you doofus.

totally Politoed's thing

I would ask why Raichu is eating another Pokemon, but, I really don't want the answer.

now you're just giving me ideas, Kiyo

giphy.gif

good source for lyricless mood music in my personal opinion

personally i wander around like a lost puppy around youtube until I find something good

It complements the dark CSS in your OP nicely, actually.

tumblr_inline_nf1q7taZG21qg9l3p.gif

But there's no contrast to its backgrounnnnnd.
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
Posts
7
Years
Written by Cadbury the Chatot
watch out, glowy already killed one of you
The ice cream one's body was much simpler to depose of.

Vissi SU said:
Despite declining it when it came to our last live concert, I really did like your serenade. I've always been a admirer of your work, you know?
"A admirer"? I'm surprised that both Kiyo and I missed that one on our first pass through, honestly.

Scroll over the [Rotom] party icon, you doofus.
Oh my god how was I supposed to know that? It didn't look... mouse-over-able.
Ok, very good to get to read about the Rotom's visage.
 

Ech

275
Posts
7
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  • Age 104
  • Seen Oct 30, 2018
who literally gave birth in the middle of the arctic and left their child in a tent covered by what I can only assume is gogoat or piplup skin

it was aliens

Kiyo said:
I like how her illness wasn't inherited -- I feel like whenever a character gets the "sickly" card thrown into their backstory or personality, it's always about something genetic or internal; so it was refreshing to see you incorporate both species and environment in shaping this particular element.

Vissi ain't no Ice-type.

"POPPLIO
is buffeted by the hail!"
each quote was for a different post u made said:
what if they ran out of vowels what would H A P P E N

They'll use use hieroglyphs.

and i edited like fifty times said:
This was perhaps the most striking thing to me; this guy literally let his entire life - his wife and four children - just sail off to an environment that's unfathomable to arctic ferals.

Vissi's dad might show up at Finer Things. Heck, he'll come with Vortiger. The two will have a great time playing darts and will be too drunk to realize that their daughters are destroying each other in the background.

would your notification box explode said:

I'm as fine as Lombardi's ass.

Lol, fourth-wall breaking and self-deprecating, all rolled into one just for the price of three ninety nine. Could you imagine if fictional characters KNEW they were being written to suffer for the sake of eliciting some cheesy drama?

i wonder said:
Her mom banked on rights activism and her niche perspective writing? Cool!

DORIS IS ACTUALLY DORIS SEALE.

HOLY SHIT, COULD NOT EVEN MAKE A PUN LIKE THAT IF I TRIED

i want to try that out now said:
You literally just made Kaze canon, oh my god.

lmao i wanted to reference errol puking for that cornered cameo but I have no idea how Vissi would get motivated from that

I'M GONNA DO IT said:
Fucking drama queen, and I've totally met people - mainly actors - who hold these philosophies.​

Always thought it was a very interesting mentality to explore. It's actually why I wanted Vissi to be an actress, since I can totally see some professionals becoming so jaded and questioning their own self-worth after getting typecast as one-dimensional roles that made them popular to begin with. I totally get the notion of getting sucked into those personas.

lol jk i'm not scum said:
Makes me wonder how far fame travels in this world, and if she is generally "safe" from recognition in the bistro.

Hmmmmm, a referral, you say? Carmine or the Owner would definitely know who she was, then?

Her recognition is mostly limited to just the city she came from (there's always a possibility of word getting around). I thought about having everyone abiding on preexisting presumptions based on her fame and turn this into an analogy on how traditional personality sections really just restrict readers to view characters a specific way. But I want to give everyone, including you, the option of acknowledging Vissi's fame. Either way works for me, considering --and I'm hoping I managed to convey this trait well in her prompt-- Vissi is a very fussy lady.

On that note, the referral was deployed mostly just to help Vissi get a job at Finer Things. I'm leaving the contents of what Fawnie (lol, sorry Cam) said ambiguous and entirely up to you. Maybe she accidentally mentioned about Vissi's career, or maybe she only hyped up Vissi as a sultry waitress. Being a Slurpuff, I just rolled with the assumption that Lil' Fawn had some former connections with the industry.


popular to begin with. I totally get the notion of getting sucked into those personas.


> Hm ... is this an allusion to what her resignation letter's "incident" was, or was it the section I previously pointed out as the "enigma?"

It's an example related to the incident (essentially, Vissi was just causing a shit storm with her band members). The enigma is separate, as to keep the relationship between Vissi and her Rhyhorn companion ambiguous.



AM I ACCEPTED?


Also, just for future reference, if you guys only have like one minor correction for my app rather than in-depth revisions, I think it's best you just VM me directly instead. Rather not gradually turn this OOC into a thread about how much I suck at grammar and syntax.
 
Last edited:
56
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Rofl, Ech, why did you name a Slurpuff after my Fawnie??

Why can't you respect the deaaaad

Anyway, does that mean we've got 3 accepted apps now? I should just tell Steph to join. He'd be much faster than Ihsaan. Ayoooo
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
Happy to hear my character was accepted. C:

Q8VDJ.gif

Received your PM, we're all set! Thanks for accommodating.

I should just tell Steph to join. He'd be much faster than Ihsaan. Ayoooo

Whoever gets their gay-ass in here with an approval-able app first, honestly.

It didn't look... mouse-over-able

"The Appearance can be read by hovering your mouse over the Rotom Sprite."​
- sentence literally right above his SU

I totally get the notion of getting sucked into those personas

You could still totally have her be a popular musical or opera icon as well - exercise that name reference - lots of stars and singers get thrown into theatre, whether they're good or not at it is a completely separate question, but it can definitely be something you can reference to get that "acting" and typecast angle.

I want to give everyone, including you, the option of acknowledging Vissi's fame
Maybe she accidentally mentioned about Vissi's career, or maybe she only hyped up Vissi as a sultry waitress. Being a Slurpuff, I just rolled with the assumption that Lil' Fawn had some former connections with the industry.

what r u sayin that all slurpuffs are cooks B I G O T

Great! I'll toy with that as my characters. I like it being an option to; you're not imposing everyone to have a specifically tailored impression of your character. I am a fan of meta-subversions.

Vissi is a very fussy lady

She definitely strikes as somehow who, deep down, is utterly confused about who she is and rejects the identity she has - even though it's the only one she has ever truly established. This would make anyone fussy; I'd wager she's pretty indecisive too, considering she might reject doing certain things because it reminds her of her past lifestyle or doesn't fit this vague impression of "the real me" she's got.

The enigma is separate, as to keep the relationship between Vissi and her Rhyhorn companion ambiguous

Cool, just wanted clarification.

Rather not gradually turn this OOC into a thread about how much I suck at grammar and syntax.

what, you can't take the HEAT?

You got it.

AM I ACCEPTED?

no

You are indeed Accepted on all accounts!

Memes got out of hand today, so I made a separate tag:

Spoiler:
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
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So like, this other city Vissi came in from, is it ALSO unnamed? Is it somewhere decently in communication with our city? Would we see Vissi only in newspapers or would it not be uncommon to have people who have actually been to that city? I ask all this because it would influence how known Vissi would be over here.

Who's this Kiyo guy said:
Glow said:
It didn't look... mouse-over-able​
"The Appearance can be read by hovering your mouse over the Rotom Sprite."

- sentence literally right above his SU
God damn brutal
8FyPCBB.gif

Thanks for knocking some sense into me love you too kiyo
 

Ech

275
Posts
7
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  • Age 104
  • Seen Oct 30, 2018
kiyo, what if i swindled super hard and played as Dick the Electrode right before we start the IC

Your Daily Vitamins said:
Why can't you respect the deaaaad

GOTTA MAKE SURE WE NEVER FORGET THE LEGEND.

also to those who are wondering what the heck we're talking about, Fawnie is a young jaded corpse who was disowned by her uncle.

Afterglow Ampharos said:
So like, this other city Vissi came in from, is it ALSO unnamed? Is it somewhere decently in communication with our city? Would we see Vissi only in newspapers or would it not be uncommon to have people who have actually been to that city? I ask all this because it would influence how known Vissi would be over here.

Ech said:
Her recognition is mostly limited to just the city she came from (there's always a possibility of word getting around).

Again, I'm giving the option for other characters to know Vissi prior to the story. That's also why I'm keeping things ambiguous on purpose, so I can't actually answer any of these questions.
 
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No one is asking or wondering about Fawnieeeee

cri

Vissi's dad might show up at Finer Things. Heck, he'll come with Vortiger. The two will have a great time playing darts and will be too drunk to realize that their daughters are destroying each other in the background.

I wonder how QQ'll interact with Vissi. I feel like Vissi's gonna come off as a mother figure, but whether or not QQ rejects that, idk

Also, rofl, Vortiger doesn't like the zany kind of people, like unnamed Seel father. He'd probably slash him on sight. C:
 

Ihsaan

shinigami of the alfheim
108
Posts
8
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Firstly sorry for delaying the RP.
Secondly I'm done with everything except the secret. I update the form with moves and backstory.
Peace.
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
sorry for delaying the RP

giphy.gif


I like your take on Charge as a habit! Gives incentive to sneak in some narrative havoc; like say, he needs a fix and drains an unassuming crucial appliance in the Kitchen, maybe?

For Discharge, while your description and his ability to control how much electricity he releases is all well and good, just want to confirm: it's only with little variants that he's generally able direct the move towards a certain direction? I ask because what makes Discharge distinct from say, Spark or Thundershock, is its uncontrollable and spreading nature. I'm curious on the "line" that differentiates between controllable and uncontrollable, because if you intend to easily control this move most of the time, you might be better off choosing a more suitable move.

Omnious Wind makes me U N E A S Y looks good! Good touch on the "exhilaration" detail (a nice nod to the fact the actual move may increase all stats at once!) but what exactly do you mean by "augmenting" other moves? What does that entail? Maybe an example would help here?

No comments on your Special Move here! You limited yourself well and I absolutely adore the twist that it's "just amplifying the innate abilities of the device" as I said before.

BACKSTORY

I think the biggest issue in this is simply with flow, the story could be much more clear and concise; the writing can be a bit clunky at times and there is a lot of room for revision. But I'm here to judge the story itself and search for discrepancies, so unless you'd like me to give you examples of what I mean here in the thread or in private, I'm not going to come off as a pretentious English teacher and have it be something you need to change in order to gain approval.

I will say that I enjoy the fact that your background has some justifiable mystery behind it. Sure, we get to know who B.T. is now and how he might function within Finer Things, but there's an element of gossip and theorizing to who he was before he died - it's a fun touch that fits into the theme of this RP. I'm mostly glad that this mystery did not detract from his personality now, as you demonstrated it well within your prompt.

Anyway, here's Wonderwall:

Spoiler:
 
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