The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

Y'know, I often considered myself to asexual for a time...
And, I think I still kinda am, in a sense, because, I'm normally not attracted to people, and I'm really still not. It's weird, because, whenever I do feel attracted to someone, it's either gender...
I think my mate just kinda wormed his way into my heart, and I love him for that, because, no one else has been able to do that before...

Does this make any sense at all?

I'm not normally attracted to people either, but I don't consider myself asexual :P Okay that is kind of a lie - I can be easily distracted by assets, but I'm very rarely attracted to someone in that way. If that makes sense and it's fair for me to differentiate between the two.

@Fenrir

I just realized what you posted. Dude! Aren't you ecstatic about being intimate with your boyfriend? I can't even say the same myself :S

BlahISuck said:

@Fenrir

I just realized what you posted. Dude! Aren't you ecstatic about being intimate with your boyfriend? I can't even say the same myself :S

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Well, it's a little hard to be intimate with him when I'm technically not legal, and he's a few states away from me.
Though, we hope to get the latter fixed sometime soon....
Hopefully.

There is also grey-ace/greysexual or demi-sexual, which might be an appropriate description for you? Grey-ace/greysexual meaning it's very rare that you experience sexual attraction, and demi-sexual meaning that you don't feel sexual attraction until after developing a strong emotional attachment.

BlahISuck said:

I'm not normally attracted to people either, but I don't consider myself asexual :P Okay that is kind of a lie - I can be easily distracted by assets, but I'm very rarely attracted to someone in that way. If that makes sense and it's fair for me to differentiate between the two.

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I think I understand what you're saying...? I always have to explain to people that if I say someone is "beautiful" or "cute", I don't mean that I find them attractive, I just think they're beautiful the way a sunset is beautiful, or cute the way a puppy is cute (although more often, when it comes to being cute, I'm referring to personality rather than looks). Is it something like that for you? Or am I way off the mark, lol.

Inkblots said:

There is also grey-ace/greysexual or demi-sexual, which might be an appropriate description for you? Grey-ace/greysexual meaning it's very rare that you experience sexual attraction, and demi-sexual meaning that you don't feel sexual attraction until after developing a strong emotional attachment.

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That seems to fit me more, especially the latter, because, unless I've grown a strong emotional bond with someone, like how me and my boyfriend did, I don't actually like their body.
See, this also happened before, with one of my female friends...

I'm weird okay, all this labels stuff, it confuses me.

Yes and no. I'm a bit of a horndog see, so I don't think anything I say could be taken seriously anymore XDDD No, but I am able to recognize aesthetic value of both a person's physical appearance, and their style, of either sexes - that's a rather academic way of putting it. I think you hit the mark whenever I'm not a horndog. Which is more often than you might expect :P

Well, it's a little hard to be intimate with him when I'm technically not legal, and he's a few states away from me.
Though, we hope to get the latter fixed sometime soon....
Hopefully.

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Oh, goodness that makes you jailbait doesn't it XD Yeah labels are useful until they are useless, and then they are just extremely useless.

BlahISuck said:

Oh, goodness that makes you jailbait doesn't it XD Yeah labels are useful until they are useless, and then they are just extremely useless.

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You're the second person to call me that!
According to Texas State Laws, I'm only jailbait until I'm 17! >.<
But it doesn't matter! It would be completely consensual anyway. ;)

I don't like labels anymore, all that matters is I'm a guy, and I'm dating a guy I happily and proudly call my boyfriend.

Bumrushing the conversation! Hello there! I'm a Homobear. Figured I'd put my name in the pool here since it seems the thread is alive and well. Herro all!

Mini-blurb - I'm a happily mated bear, having been out since early High School (Which I graduated from in 2008, So, I'll let you adjust my age accordingly). See my Intro post for more info.

Either way, I do pledge my assistance in any seeking to ask me questions or anything. Here I am. Joining the fray. . ..

Rawr.

Its just my opinion, naturally but personally I think anyone is welcome to join this thread even if they consider themselves entirely heterosexual. If someone simply holds curiosity for something which they have never encountered then we should all be happy to assist them in anything they would like to know. Many people don't know their sexuality and it can help to talk to people from all different 'camps' of the spectrum.

That said, if there's anything anyone would like to know i'd be happy to do my best to explain.

I would love love loveee to join this group <3

I personally don't really believe in prescribing to a single label, especially for something as fluid and diverse as sexuality but I will try to describe myself. What I know as far as sexual attraction is that I like women. A lot. And since I am one myself and I don't find men sexually attractive, that makes me homosexual I guess. I am however romantically attracted to men though, which I somewhat accredit to society and the whole Disney "prince charming" scenario. My relationship with men still seem to seem a lot smoother than those with women though, so I am still unsure of a lot of things.

BlahISuck said:

Yeah labels are useful until they are useless, and then they are just extremely useless.

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Could not agree more, haha XD Especially when you get into some of the more complex sexualities, like SylphyStarr, where sexual attraction and romantic attraction don't necessarily match up.

Personally, I've always felt like such labels are really only useful when you aren't currently in a relationship, if only to let other people know in a succinct way who you might potentially be interested in, or not interested in. Once you're in a relationship, it's not so important anymore, in my opinion (though I don't think there's anything wrong with continuing to label oneself while in a relationship, as it can be important both to one's sense of identity, and to dispelling misconceptions about those labels, e.g., when a bi person finds a partner, and so many people who don't seem to understand what bi means then assume they have "chosen a team" and are now gay or straight).

SylphyStarr said:

I would love love loveee to join this group <3

I personally don't really believe in prescribing to a single label, especially for something as fluid and diverse as sexuality but I will try to describe myself. What I know as far as sexual attraction is that I like women. A lot. And since I am one myself and I don't find men sexually attractive, that makes me homosexual I guess. I am however romantically attracted to men though, which I somewhat accredit to society and the whole Disney "prince charming" scenario. My relationship with men still seem to seem a lot smoother than those with women though, so I am still unsure of a lot of things.

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I agree. As someone who is pretty blurry in both sexuality and gender, I definitely don't like to put labels on anything. As a matter of fact, I try to stick with the broader descriptors when trying to explain myself to others, so they don't put me into some tiny box and then get upset when my behavior is too broad for that box.

Inkblots said:

Could not agree more, haha XD Especially when you get into some of the more complex sexualities, like SylphyStarr, where sexual attraction and romantic attraction don't necessarily match up.

Personally, I've always felt like such labels are really only useful when you aren't currently in a relationship, if only to let other people know in a succinct way who you might potentially be interested in, or not interested in. Once you're in a relationship, it's not so important anymore, in my opinion (though I don't think there's anything wrong with continuing to label oneself while in a relationship, as it can be important both to one's sense of identity, and to dispelling misconceptions about those labels, e.g., when a bi person finds a partner, and so many people who don't seem to understand what bi means then assume they have "chosen a team" and are now gay or straight).

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Labels are unfortunately a necessity of our language, since most of the time either we or the receiver of our message lacks the time, the will or the patience to partake in a detailed description. Sometimes even our chosen language of conveyance lacks detailed enough descriptors to accurately and succinctly convey exactly what we mean. Other times the receiver has a non-standard or incorrect interpretation of your message, a different meaning assigned to the descriptors being chosen or has some sort of bias towards interpreting your message in an undesirable way. Sometimes they just don't understand the meaning of your descriptors and make an erroneous extrapolation based on what they do know.

It gets even more slippery when you fall under the broader spectrum terms, and there's a wider margin for error to exist in interpreting your message. Sometimes we even make the mistake of overgeneralizing for brevity, and this leaves questions unanswered to be filled by speculation which may not be a positive thing.

While those of us in this group have our own jargon of classification, it has not yet quite reached maturity nor has it reached the mainstream.

Cassino said:

I believe the question pertains only to natural body odour(s), not manufactured fragrances to which we are not genetically predisposed to react

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Then that makes no sense to me. I had no idea that there was any difference whatsoever between the natural scent of a man or a woman lol.

Somniac said:

Its just my opinion, naturally but personally I think anyone is welcome to join this thread even if they consider themselves entirely heterosexual.

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That's not opinion, that's just simple fact lol - anybody at all is welcome to join the club, it's in the section rules and it would also kind of go against the whole message of unity we're trying to send if we rejected people from the club for being straight :P

Also welcome to Ledgetheorc, SylphyStarr and Inkblots!

As for Fenrir, I say screw legality. If you're lucky enough to get yourself a hot older guy then you go for it, we should all be so lucky. My friend Alyshia was dating a guy in high school when she was 16 and he was 21. Six years later and they're still together.

Shining Raichu said:

As for Fenrir, I say screw legality. If you're lucky enough to get yourself a hot older guy then you go for it, we should all be so lucky. My friend Alyshia was dating a guy in high school when she was 16 and he was 21. Six years later and they're still together.

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Ahh...
Wow.
I still hate how he lives so far away, and he no way to get here...
And, even if he did, where would he live anyway..
Theses are the problems...

I cannot condone any form of long distance, yes I do believe it has the potential to work, but that chance seems pretty slim (especially from my own experience). There's nothing like meeting someone IRL for the first time without knowing much about them. As for the older bit, as I'm 23, and my mate is 32, best experience of my life. :D Even if I was sperm when he was 9.

Ledgetheorc said:

I cannot condone any form of long distance, yes I do believe it has the potential to work, but that chance seems pretty slim (especially from my own experience). There's nothing like meeting someone IRL for the first time without knowing much about them. As for the older bit, as I'm 23, and my mate is 32, best experience of my life. :D Even if I was sperm when he was 9.

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Damn it! I know it will work! I will make it work, I'll make it....
I know we'll make it work...
I know it.

It really can work! My longest and deepest relationship was with someone I meet through mutual friends on facebook. He lived in New Jersey and I am from Wisconsin. We were together for over a year and he visited here twice and I went out there once. It was a really great experience and I am still close with him. Our breakup was not because of the distance at all and he is even planning to come visit again soon sometime.

All that being said, it definately isn't easy as a more traditional relationship, but it can be a good fit fit for certain people. I can see why some people look down on long-distance relationships as being wrong or silly but I think that denying someone that you truly connect with the chance to be with you just because of location is even worse.

What I hate the most is that he would have nowhere to go when he gets down here...
I would love for him to stay here with me, but, I don't think they'll want their son's boyfriend living with him yet...

The reason I like long-distance relationships better is because, I can fall in love with the personality of the person first, and not the look of them...
And we really just fit and complete each other. We balance each other out, his more controlled emotions keep my rather random emotions in check. Hell, he's a Taurus, and I'm a Cancer, and these two are supposed to be good together, after all...

FenrirDarkWolf said:

The reason I like long-distance relationships better is because, I can fall in love with the personality of the person first, and not the look of them...
And we really just fit and complete each other. We balance each other out, his more controlled emotions keep my rather random emotions in check. Hell, he's a Taurus, and I'm a Cancer, and these two are supposed to be good together, after all...

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You don't have to be so ultra-pure - what we non-long-distance relationship people are skanks now, aren't we >.> XD It's not too difficult to have self-control, even if you're a horndog like me. And there's a lot more you can get from being in intimate contact. Like body-language - you know how they say 90% of communication is body language :P You get to notice little things that kind of flesh out the whole experience, I guess. And going out and doing stuff. Being in intimate contact doesn't mean you have to be making out all the time, it doesn't even mean you have to be talking all the time. I've been in an effectively long-distance relationship because we both have exams and are as busy as hell right now.

Astrology is a bunch of BS, imo. I checked out my matching, and it said we wouldn't work out! And then I saw another website and it said the matching would be successful... so I guess we could be best partners, worst enemies and everything in the middle? smh.

There are reasons I want him with me...
And it's not for the good stuff, it is for fluffy stuff too...
Or maybe I'm just crazy, crazy in love perhaps...