I'm gonna preface this by saying that I don't have a full insight into your feelings or your girlfriend's feelings, and any criticisms I level at either of you are not personal attacks and should be taken with a grain of salt.
So I've been in a relationship for about 8 months now and things are beginning to fall apart. Me and my girl are living together and have been for a while. My problems are that she just isn't into anything that I am and she is just really boring to me.
Have either of you considered branching out of your individual interests to attempt an interest that neither of you know about? That's a good way to find common ground.
When we first started out the first month before we had even met she said that she would try anything with me of my interests and was open to it to play games and go out places and whatnot. Now it's like all that stuff may have been something she was initially open to before it was actually happening, but now she doesn't want anything to do with my interests. She tried playing Super Mario Kart with me one time and couldn't even get through three races. On the third race she got so frustrated and slammed the controller on the bed making my Super Nintendo fall off the dresser. I was mad, not at the fact that it fell but at the extreme display of emotions and not even really trying.
It seems like you have an issue with her saying she was open to try, but then felt lied to or felt it was unfair that she didn't take to your interests the way you do. Is this true?
Mario Kart is... kinda difficult for people who don't play it often enough to learn its nuances. Hell, I can barely play it. I can understand why she was frustrated (hell, have you seen YouTubers play it?). Maybe consider that challenging, difficult games aren't her cup of tea and try to find games with a lower difficult curve that you can bond over.
Regarding your anger about her showing emotion... why did that make you angry, exactly? Is it because you were expecting a different reaction and felt hurt that she didn't give you the one you expected? Or were you angry because she reacted negatively at all? Or some other third explanation?
All she ever does is stay on her phone looking at facebook crap, listening to boring music. She always puts me through these awful movies and wants me to sit through the whole thing, and I do because if I've started it I'll at least finish it to see if it is good. But it hardly ever is.
Imagine if this statement was flipped. Would you be happy with a person who thought this about your interests? There are many entertaining things on Facebook - they don't have to be entertaining to you, but can be to others, and that's their right to enjoy. Music taste is highly subjective, and you have no more authority to judge her's than she has to judge your's. Same with movie tastes - you not liking her movies doesn't make them awful, they're just not your taste, just like your games aren't her taste. Changing your perspective like this will make conversations about this subject a lot easier to manage. If you come in judgmental and critical, you'll never get anywhere.
Consider having a conversation with her about what she's into and talk about things you're into, and find ways to combine them instead of forcing each other to sit through something one of you doesn't enjoy.
She is never satisfied with anything and only complains about everything when her life isn't even bad. The biggest problem this girl has is making sure she gets her nails done each week. Her job isn't stressful, she works overnights at home for the same company I do taking customer service calls. Some nights she takes maybe up to four calls that are over in about 5 minutes, and some nights she doesn't even get a call and just sleeps most of the night or watches her mindless reality shows. Then sleeps again for a lot of the day. Also she spends and spends money, to the point that she has me pay for a lot of things as well because she'll make herself flat broke.
These seems like personal issues unrelated to the whole "we have no interests we share" thing, and this whole paragraph makes me believe that the lack of interests and unwillingness to engage with each other is merely a symptom of bigger problems in your relationship that need to be addressed.
I once told her that I wasn't going to watch anything else that she wanted until she tried again to play some video games or at least show some type of interest with what I was into and she says that she doesn't know how to do that and doesn't want to because she never played them before. Now I understand that, but I think I've earned her at least trying due to the countless hours of crap that she has sat me through.
At the risk of sounding blunt or rude, this is a horrible mindset to engage someone with. You don't earn anything from anyone regardless of what you do, and ultimatums never, ever, ever produce good results or compromise. These are some really unproductive behaviors you should consider addressing if you're truly trying to resolve things with her.
She is a very selfish person as well. She will cook everyday so that's something though, but beyond that she is selfish to her family and only wants to do things that she wants to. There was one time when I went into the city so I could get some save batteries changed and shop at a game store. I invited her and she said no. Then I went out to do some errands and I was still in the area and asked if she wanted to come again to the city and she wound up coming. She then hijacks the day and has us go out to eat and then go Geocaching or whatever it is called before I even got to go to the store which was the whole purpose of me going out there to begin with. She had the nerve to say "okay we did all my stuff now we can do your thing". That just got me really heated so I just went with it since I didn't want to ruin the day.
Be careful with insulting her, it feeds into an argumentative mindset.
Have you discussed with her (amicably) about this particular situation? You say she "hijacked the day" - how did she do that? The only way she could have forced you to do something in this situation was if she forcibly moved you into the car and drove you herself where she wanted to go (if she did do that, that's a whole bigger issue to address). On some base level, you did these things with her because you wanted to be with her or wanted to do something for her. Did you communicate to her that you wanted to go to the store first? Did you have a conversation that could have compromised you both doing your activities in a productive order?
She even thought I was cheating on her once and went and called an old friend of mine when I wasn't home to ask her if I was doing anything. She didn't want me seeing this girl anymore and I obliged and stopped talking to her. She went and called her talked for a couple hours and then wound up being friends with her. That got me so angry and I told her how I felt. It's like if I told her I didn't want her buying something for 1000 dollars because we couldn't afford it yet I go out and buy something for that same price right after saying that. She got her answer and figured out I wasn't doing anything and that it never even crossed my mind or my friend's. Then that same day I go to the bathroom and she checks my phone literally five minutes after we had the last conversation concerning that. It's such a disrespectful thing to do once all has been said and done with answers to everything and saying that she trusts me because I didn't do anything and realized that I wasn't lying.
Okay, this is
really problematic. Like,
severely problematic. This is not healthy behavior at all, and I'm actually genuinely surprised you're still with her after she did this. I personally would leave someone if they did these things to me.
Nevertheless, you are still together. Clearly this issue is still bothering you - have you talked about it further? Have you explained to her that these actions hurt you severely? How did you explain it? If you did, how did she react, and how did you handle that reaction?
She is totally your typical Jersey girl
Again, watch the insults. They feed into an argumentative mindset.
and it's starting to really get to me that I can't handle this relationship because to me she is just so boring and she doesn't even try to make me happy anymore and I seem to be the only one trying to keep her happy because I love her. I've fallen into actually being unhappy being with her. Now I sit in the kitchen a lot just to get away and do my own thing playing video games and to just be by myself.
I just want to find someone into the same things that I am or would at least try to understand who I am through my main source of entertainment, but this far in I realize that she isn't going to do that ever.
I don't think your issue with her is that she's boring. You both clearly have a much more difficult relationship with many more problems than just you finding her boring, and though I can't deduce the way in which you both approached discussions of these situations, it sounds like they weren't discussed in ways that led to compromise, understanding, or resolution. And honestly, even though you say you love her, the way you talk about her is not particularly loving. Leveling insults at someone and judging her based on your own subjective biases is not something that people who love each other do.
If you truly want to stay with her, I recommend you both have a very serious sit down talk in a private area and, amicably and emphatically, discuss these bigger issues. It's clear the turmoil in your relationship stems from more serious issues than just a lack of shared hobbies, and you both need to address these and resolve them in ways that are not harmful to any one person if you want to stay together.
Outside of that, I'd seriously recommend breaking up. You and her both sound miserable together, and if you can't resolve your issues, there's no reason to stay together. Some people just don't work out. Don't let it get you down.
Good luck, and if you need more help, just quote me and I'll try to get back to you.
