Thread: [Pokémon] Braid
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Old October 5th, 2010 (10:20 AM).
Azurne's Avatar
Azurne Azurne is offline
The Local Trickster
    Join Date: Nov 2008
    Age: 28
    Gender: Female
    Nature: Bold
    Posts: 78
    I really liked this, Jax. I didn't quite understand how the story of Ilex village was related to the current trainer until sometime during the end, ha. :3

    I'm also a sucker for stories of witches, fables, etc. So this is most definitely a favorite already, even if you feel it's rushed.

    The ending did feel abrupt, but for the life of me I can't figure out what would be a better ending. I think, don't hold me to this, maybe if you cut the last two paragraphs, and added one showing the tree that was the trainer, standing amongst the myriad of older more decrepit trees, with his/her Pokéballs littering the forest floor, might be an added effect. Then you could paste the last two paragraphs for the final ending.

    Not sure. It's just something you'll have to play around with to see what works.

    Still an outstanding piece of work, regardless. :]


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