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I'm a Popular Loner

221
Posts
7
Years
I have found, every since the beginning of high school (I'm in my 3rd year of University now) that I am a popular loner. I know and am friendly with ton of people, and a ton of people know and are friendly with me. In class I feel like i'm friends with everyone and everyone is very friendly with me, but when I get home I realize that my circle of friend is considerably small.

For some reason, when I'm placed in a situation where I'm around a lot of people (like class), I feel like I have all the friends in the world. The second I leave class, it's almost where I feel like I have no friends. Theres no one I could just text and be like "hey, wanna do whatever" and know that they'd want to.

For people who have a hard time making friends or talking to people in general, this issue may seem a bit petty, but for me it always hurts when I realize that almost everyone else has at least one close friend they can count on while I don't really have that.

Are any of you guys like this? If you are, how do you deal with it. Even if you were before but aren't anymore, how did you get past it/move on from it?
 

i'm a bubble. pop me.

What words would satisfy you?
83
Posts
15
Years
You are already likeable, it seems you just need a little self-initiative. Invite one of your classmates for coffee/lunch or whatever. Even if it doesn't develop into a more intimate friendship, you can still gain self-confidence and self-insight. It takes putting yourself out there and some good measure of luck, but good friends are to be found. I like to think of them as shiny pokemon. Anyway, know that you have plenty of good qualities that others will like and don't be too hard on yourself if things aren't always going quite the way you'd want them too!
 
25,439
Posts
11
Years
Worth noting the vast majority of friendships are more like what you describe than particularly close. I don't think you're an outlier. I'd say follow Bubble's advice.
 
2,823
Posts
6
Years
  • Age 122
  • Seen Jan 27, 2019
I am a loner as well, the most are shallow acquaintanceships if you call it that, that only exist for mutual benefits until the exchange wears off.
 
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