JX Valentine

Your aquatic overlord

Harassing Bill
Seen August 19th, 2020
Posted December 8th, 2012
3,276 posts
17.1 Years
I really liked this, Jax. I didn't quite understand how the story of Ilex village was related to the current trainer until sometime during the end, ha. :3
Awesome. :D The plot devices work!

The ending did feel abrupt, but for the life of me I can't figure out what would be a better ending. I think, don't hold me to this, maybe if you cut the last two paragraphs, and added one showing the tree that was the trainer, standing amongst the myriad of older more decrepit trees, with his/her Pokéballs littering the forest floor, might be an added effect. Then you could paste the last two paragraphs for the final ending.
That's actually exactly what's bothering me about the ending, and I couldn't put my finger on why it felt like that myself. o_x I think you've got a good idea, though, so I'll play with adding that extra scene to see what happens.

Thanks for the review and the tip! :D
Professional ninja. May or may not actually be back. Here for the snark and banter at most.

Need some light reading?
Anima Ex Machina (Chapter 20 now available)
The Leaf Green Incident (SWC 2012 winner)
Braid (Creepypasta apparently)
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