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  #1    
Old May 28th, 2009 (4:04 PM).
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    The title I've been able to think of is "An Unlikely Alliance".

    The below is a summary.

    Abandoned by their parents at birth, Alexa (a Shinx kitten) and Axos (Houndour pup) are taken in by a lone Luxray queen. As the pair mature, it is their unlikely alliance that will forge a friendship between Houndoom and Luxray forever.


    I'd appreciate it if anyone could tell me whether or not this is a good idea.
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    Old May 28th, 2009 (4:24 PM).
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    It does have potential in terms of any sort of conflicts that may arrive, but you'd have to make sure to avoid clichies, or it may be an uninteresting read.

    Pokemon Vs. Human

    Pokemon Vs. Pokemon

    and

    Pokemon Vs. themselves

    are good ones.
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    Old May 28th, 2009 (4:41 PM).
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    Yeah, sounds like an interesting idea. And yep, it'd be best to avoid cliches.
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    Old May 28th, 2009 (8:45 PM).
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    Well, I honestly know very little about Pokemon-POV fics, so I can't shed much light on this. However, it is sounding a bit like Romeo and Juliet, with the whole 'two opposing factions brought together by the love (or in your case, friendship, I would guess) of two young members. I'd try and steer clear of those kind of cliches, as the above posters have suggested. Also I like your names! :D
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    Old May 28th, 2009 (9:11 PM).
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      Most any beginning has potential, just as this, but I think in the end it will come down to the thought put into the overall "skeleton" of the story, and so far it seems you are off to a great start. Even the title seems a good one, just be sure that it fits the story. I hope you really have fun coming up with the rest!
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      Old May 28th, 2009 (9:15 PM).
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        In general, I tend to steer clear of solely Pokemon-based fictions where humans do not play a prominent role. I think it is because they are often poorly done. I know I've started reading a few, but never kept with them because they often become disinteresting after the second or third chapter. However, because there seems to be a constant major conflict (Houndoom vs. Luxray) I think it may be easier to keep the reader interested. I also agree with everyone- keep away from clichés. Be original!

        I am strangely reminded of a book I read a while back called Hawksong. It was a similar concept only it was a war between snakes and birds instead of different types of Pokemon, I believe.
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        Old May 28th, 2009 (10:16 PM).
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        Well, as once again you've asked for my opinion, here we go!
        Quote:
        The title I've been able to think of is "An Unlikely Alliance".
        Title is...all right, I suppose - nothing really bad about it, or anything.

        Quote:
        The below is a summary.

        Abandoned by their parents at birth, Alexa (a Shinx kitten) and Axos (Houndour pup) are taken in by a lone Luxray queen. As the pair mature, it is their unlikely alliance that will forge a friendship between Houndoom and Luxray forever.
        Hmm... although the idea is ok, I'd say to make sure that why these things happen is clear. It seems hinted here that there's a rivalry between the Luxray and Houndoom line...? If not, than it seems odd that there's emphasis on the 'friendship between Houndoom and Luxray'.

        If so;, you'll have to show this to us (otherwise we'd have to guess). Another thought is then, if there are differences between the two (similar to, as another said, Romeo and Juliet), how fierce is the rivalry between them, and why the 'Luxray queen' (curiously, is there such a thing as a 'head lioness'? I wouldn't know, so hopefully you've had a look at such things and already sorted them out, made sure they made sense and all) would take in the Houndoom in the first place. Wouldn't the other Luxray then disagree? And so forth.

        Also - why are they both abandoned by their parents at birth? It's an odd thing to happen, for starters, and givent hat Houndour/Houndoom apparently hunt and hence live in packs, that means that the Houndour somehow got separated bythe pack, or has no pack to go to. That's another thing that occured to me as well, so keep that in mind, so it isn't left unexplained.

        There's a few open areas here already (which I suppose is only natural given how brief the summery is...), so be sure to think them out carefully and all. Otherwise, it is kinda hard to judge so far, as there's not too much to go on.

        And as with all writing, show, don't tell, yadda yadd yadda, and good luck with it, if you follow through with your idea.
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        Old May 29th, 2009 (7:23 AM).
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        It doesn't sound bad, but there's just too few to say something. It might be something interesting, but I think you need to explain more.
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        Old May 29th, 2009 (3:34 PM).
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          Hmm... It could be interesting if done well. Of course, the same applies to all fics really. So long as you can write the story in a way that catches readers' attention and comes out well-written, any idea can be turned into a decent fic.

          As for the concept itself, it's got originality. At least, I've never come across a Pokemon fic with a similar concept. You'll have to explain quite a bit to make it seem more realistic, though. Like bobandbill said, it's important to make sure your readers know why the Shinx and Houndour were abandoned in the first place. You probably will also need to explain why the Luxray who raised them is alone, or why she didn't just take in the Shinx and leave the Houndour to die (as you implied some sort of rivalry between the two species would be a major part of the plot).

          The idea isn't bad or good as it stands; you only offered a two-sentence summary and a title so we can't tell very much about it. Just depends on how you plan on working it out...
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          Old May 31st, 2009 (7:04 PM).
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            Here are some ideas Blahman117 and I came up with...

            The Houndoom are finding that prey is scarce, so they start pushing the boundaries of the Luxray pride.

            Humans were encroaching on the Luxray and Houndoom territories. This drove away the parents and Alexa and Axos were left behind.

            A rogue female Luxray could find them and take care of them, and the young ones become friends as they mature.
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            Old May 31st, 2009 (7:06 PM).
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            Yes, but as iLike2EatPiez (wtf?) said, why did the Luxray take in the Houndour, and not just the Shinx?
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            Old May 31st, 2009 (7:08 PM).
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            Depending on the nature and circumstances of the Luxray parents that did the abandonment, you'd have to show/have a good reason for leaving their young ones behind, as perhaps in reality, they might protect them to their death for example.

            Oo *thinks of the Land Before Time and is surprised to have remembered that movie*
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            Old May 31st, 2009 (7:25 PM).
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            OMG The Land Before Time! Somebody else who knows it exists? I haven't watched it in years!

            *whax self for being off topic* Um, what Feign said?
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            Old May 31st, 2009 (7:29 PM).
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            ah well this is the lounge it is already offtopic XD

            Along with Rescuers Down Under, it was one of my favourite movies.
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            Old May 31st, 2009 (7:38 PM).
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            Hang on, this is the one with the animated baby dinosaurs, right?
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            Old May 31st, 2009 (7:50 PM).
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            Land Before Time, yes. Little Foot the Brontosaurus, Sarah the triceratops etc. The first one didn't have music sung by the dinosaurs, if I recall, like the other ones did. And I believe the first one was both produced by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.
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            Old May 31st, 2009 (8:09 PM). Edited June 1st, 2009 by Misheard Whisper.
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            Spielberg and Lucas? No way! I used to love those movies. They were second only to Thomas the Tank Engine. My dinosaur obsession carried over into dragons after a while, though.




            We should stop talking about this now.
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            Old May 31st, 2009 (8:17 PM).
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            Yep, both executive producers XD

            It's properly distracting me from my fic writing anyway, besides the fact that I want to finish chapter one tonight XD
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            Old June 1st, 2009 (12:31 AM).
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            Alright, now then.

            The reason for leaving (I think Tigrerra already listed) is that humans advance on the houndoom's/luxray's territory, in which they are already at a territory war type thing, therefore having the rivalry between the species. Now then for the parents leaving, I don't know how violent she wants to get, but my idea (I'm helping to somewhat write this) is probably the parents get killed during the human occupation of the land. And for the other Luxray taking them both in, maybe the young houndour and shinx get on friendly terms and the shinx convinces the Luxray to take him too.

            hope that kinda clarifies...ish?
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            Old June 1st, 2009 (4:28 AM).
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Blahman117 View Post
            Alright, now then.

            The reason for leaving (I think Tigrerra already listed) is that humans advance on the houndoom's/luxray's territory, in which they are already at a territory war type thing, therefore having the rivalry between the species.
            Hmm... if you mean that the humans are the cause of the rivalry... well, why so? Yes, they've advanced on the territory, but how exactly - set up a camp there, or a city? And how does this actually affect the Pokemon? Go into depth here for the story, see how everyone/thing reacts and all to it and be sure to show it. But this 'already at a territory war thing'... again, explain more - is it just how these Pokemon live and react to each other, being territorial and all, or is there something deeper? And how do the humans worsen this?
            Quote:
            Now then for the parents leaving, I don't know how violent she wants to get, but my idea (I'm helping to somewhat write this) is probably the parents get killed during the human occupation of the land.
            Hmm...well, it does explain what happens to them... do wonder how they die though...
            Quote:
            And for the other Luxray taking them both in, maybe the young houndour and shinx get on friendly terms and the shinx convinces the Luxray to take him too.
            Not yet convinced on this point - there would still need to be more establishment on how this 'convincing' occurs so that the Luxray 'queen' will bring in this Houndour... after all, if they have a rivalry, so convincing the reader about this action to accept a Pokemon from the rival group or whatnot won't be so easy, especially when one considers how the rest of the clan would react to this as well, I'd suspect (which I suppose could always be worked cleverly into the story with some thought). Also how exactly they become friendly as well would have to be considered in the writing - a random 'hi let's be friends' won't exactly cut it.

            Eh. IDK, but there is a vague feeling of there being some more thinking put into this to flesh it out and make it make sense and so forth, for me leastways. There's no rush with it though...

            And it turns out it's another co-written project? Well, your choice, I suppose - good luck with it.

            This is also reminding me more and more of 'The Fox and the Hound', rather than the 'Land before Time' (which I saw before as well, incidentally).
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            Old June 8th, 2009 (10:15 AM).
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              It seems like a good idea but I would have to see more if I were to judge...
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