I think that anyone here who has ever had estranged relationship with a parent, sibling, or extended family member would agree that family isn't just a blood relation. It's something you form through relationships with people. It hurts when the family you were given at birth rejects you, but you have to realize you're not alone in this world. Your family is bigger than you think it is. /cheesy speech over.

I remember the days when such a topic was taboo here at PC, even though a majority of us would admit to our not-straight sexualities on MSN or such...

Hi, I'm Greg. I'm gay, and moreorless out. My family knows (they just fail to acknowledge it, most of the time) and if anyone asks, I'm like "Oh, yeah."

What got you into supporting LGBT rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?
Uh, well, I'm gay. o/ It's also seemed like the right thing to do. I went through school in a "worldly" curriculum, and that basically opened me to the idea that everyone should be equal. Combined with my own personal bias, I don't see why adoption/marriage should be limited to just a man/woman. :-D


As for the Minnesota bill... grrrr. As a kid that's been born and raised here, it seriously pisses me off that my state would even consider that bull. I know it's already in the books that I won't be able to marry, but we should be going the opposite way!!! >O


Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.
My parental story is the same blah story of tears, hugs, and screams, so I'll ignore that.

My fun one is actually the first person I came out to IRL. (I've been a gayhag online forever, but not so much IRL. I was a closetcase) I had a serious crush on this boy a year younger than me, and my friend kinda had... access to the computer system, where information is stored.

She was bugging me to find out who I liked, and I made a deal - if I told her, she'd have to get the information for me. :D She was a little surprised when it was a boy, and I got my piece of paper with his full name, address... and *_* his picture. This was in like, November, way before the yearbook would come out - so this was my best bet. ;) Stalkerish, bad, but it made me life. I called it "Pretty Paper" and I kept it close to my heart.

---

I won't likely be active in here, but I may pop in from time to time :D I'm not active on PC at all (except in my Webbies section, where I post every few weeks to all the updated threads...) but I'll try. ;D

Welcome, Greg! Thanks for sharing your stories with us :) I look forward to your future pop-ins :)

Oh my God! So, your father... how are things with him now? If you're now 'out' and your father knows it, does that mean you're no longer allowed to live at home? I personally find him to be a disgusting excuse for a human being (there are more expletives I won't use because he's still your father and you may not like people talking badly of him :P)

Your friend I'm not so surprised by, but your parents' reactions break my heart. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu Oh my God! So, your father... how are things with him now? If you're now 'out' and your father knows it, does that mean you're no longer allowed to live at home? I personally find him to be a disgusting excuse for a human being (there are more expletives I won't use because he's still your father and you may not like people talking badly of him :P) Your friend I'm not so surprised by, but your parents' reactions break my heart. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Things with him are ok. He's learn to tolerate my sexuality. Sort of.
He thinks that me being gay is my problem not his. Interpret that however you'd like.

I'm out & I'm still welcomed under 'his' roof. I'm just not allowed to bring any guys over. Gay ones at least. It's something to do with their religion & I have to respect that.

Ugh their religion, I think people use that as a cop-out because they know religion is the one thing people feel they have to respect. I get that you have to abide by it because it's their house (and I say house, not home, because it's your home too and you should be able to be yourself in it), but you do not have to respect it. I know I don't. So, they're never going to want anything to do with that part of your life? Even if you fall in love and decide to get married, you're never going to be allowed to bring your husband into their home? That's just disgusting.

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself?

As much as I'd hate to interject politics into this, I firmly believe that the right to bear arms would benefit the LGBT community because of bashing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 As much as I'd hate to interject politics into this, I firmly believe that the right to bear arms would benefit the LGBT community because of bashing.

I'm confused doesn't to bear arms mean to have weapons?

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.
Not once have i ever gay bashed. i've always been like, whats the problem with gay people?
but i have friends who casually gay bash against me as a joke, sometimes they go a bit to far by calling me something like ******, which is where i draw the line, and i end up flipping out at them and give the whole speech about me calling them some sort of racial word.
I also know a few people who are all like 'ZOMG JESUS WASN'T GAY SO GAY IS WRONG HERP DERP' which is just stupid so i usually avoid them and let them go and play with all the other bigots who believe in all that bull.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 As much as I'd hate to interject politics into this, I firmly believe that the right to bear arms would benefit the LGBT community because of bashing.

I get it, but doesn't that add fuel to the fire if the victim & the basher know each other?

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

I've never been gay bashed, but I do know someone who has. A friend of mine was coming back home after a book signing with his boyfriend. They stopped at gas station to refuel & while they were there they noticed a group of men giving them strange looks. My friend Larry knew something was wrong & immediately told his boyfriend to get back in the car. Before Larry could get back in the car & drive away, the group of me ran over & started beating him. The police were called, but the men had left the scene before they could arrive. Larry had suffered some serious head injuries. It was so bad that he had learn how to walk & talk all over again. He was like a blank slate. He's fine now, but there are still a few things he doesn't remember. He does carry a firearm with him at all times because of this incident.

If you ever run into a situation where someone is verbally harassing you, just walk away. If you want to talk some sense into that person then always maintain a sense of dignity. Don't make it into a screaming contest because things will just escalate into violence. But if you should ever run into a situation like my friend Larry did, protect yourself. Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe & whoever is with you, but also try your best to get out of it & call the authorities. Don't try to solve this on your own.

Is this a private party or can anyone join? I don't know if I'd be very active, but I'd like to be.

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so? Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

Just gonna mix the questions together in one tl;dr answer. My story is that I was always a quiet boy, a boy because when I was really young I didn't think you could be anything but what you looked like and what people treated you as, and quiet because I didn't always feel comfortable doing things with other boys so I kept to myself a lot. So, yeah, I'm transgendered, although I'm not totally keen on using labels because I don't fall totally within the bounds of what that typically means since I'm also bisexual in the sense that I've been attracted to guys and girls, but I'm also not bisexual because I'm not generally attracted to the male or female body specifically. I'm also not completely sure I want to have surgery either. I'm actually fairly certain I don't want to.

I guess I got into the whole community/rights thing in high school. Before that I was just trying my best to keep people from pushing me to do boy things so I put on the guise, did a few token things here and there so no one would worry too much, and just didn't think too much about anything. Then I had this one teacher who was totally outside of what you expect from teachers, trying to get us to think and care about things in the world. That's kind of where I got into supporting people, standing up for rights, and all that. It wasn't really about gay rights per se, but it turned out that one of the first friends I made in high school (and you have to understand that until HS I had, like, 2 friends and they were both Mormon, so yeah) came out to me and eventually I got into the GSA and got to meet all the other queer kids who were out. I suppose it was all of them, my teacher included, who were my inspiration.

I guess I came out, sort of, at homecoming where I was on the GSA's float and I wore a dress in public for the first time. That whole night turned out badly and I went back into hiding, letting everyone assume I was just a troublemaker, until after high school. Even then I've been mostly quiet about it, or at least low key. I don't often wear skirts or dresses or anything that's not 'gender neutral' because I don't feel I *need* to prove my identity to people, but also because I'm still scared of loosing my job, some of my friends, and generally having bad reactions. I know, stupid, but hey, that's where I am. Still, I'm pushing the limits of how a 'guy' is supposed to look and act anyway and even little things like that make me happy.

Oh, that wasn't as long as I thought it would be. lol

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

No, I haven't, and I don't know anyone in real life who has been physically bashed because of their sexuality.

Freaky, as against guns as I am, I can't help but partly agree that it would help the gay community to be able to pull something out of your jacket and say "back the hell off or I will kill you." But, satisfying as that image is in my head, I know that it would only escalate the contempt some feel for the gay community and make the overall problem worse.

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

Hmm, I wanna say that I've been around when a bunch of guys were gay bashing, and I got tired of hearing it and just blurted out "You know, gay people are people too. And don't act like you don't enjoy lesbians, I know you do. They're gay too. How you like them apples?" lmao I tend to have horrible insults to people. :(

And actually, I don't know if this really counts, but I sorta have been gay bashed, or rather, accused of being gay. I went to this really horrible school in 6th grade. Like, if you hung out with someone of the same sex all the time, like I did, then OMG YOU WERE GAY. So I was trying to read this guy's shirt after lunch one day, but my far off vision isn't the best, so I mean, it looked like I was all into staring, but I was just trying to read his shirt was all. Then he took notice and loudly blurted out "Stop staring at me, you little gay freak!!" :| I was too embarrassed to even say that I was just reading his shirt. Oh well. v_v

But you can't have that, because if the LGBT community gets guns, then anyone with half a braincell could get a gun.


This.

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.
Yes I have been "gay bashed". When I first came out in my school during first year, everyone whispered behind me as I walked by, I got different types of milkshakes trown at me and was even beaten up once, And when I told the teachers they said they needed hard proof that the bullying was because I was gay. At the start of summer I decided to take up shotokan karate (A tradition in my family when you hit the age 14/15 mark), It boosted my confidence, and eventually when some idiot (I'm using the phrase "Idiot" lightly...) decided he'd try fight me, He wound up with a broken wrist and 2 bruised ribs (I don't encourage violence BTW). I also lost a few friends just because I was gay, and a guy in my class hates me because I am who I am, He screamed In my face that being gay was sick and wrong and that I should go die, But ever since then up to a point he said that I was the A-hole.
At the end it turned out that he was gay and that he hated me for the fact that I had enough confidence to be who I am (Surprize surprize...).

As for advice, I'd find 2 or 3 girls to just hang around with so you don't get bullied as much (Breasts work in MAGICAL ways... *InsertKatyPerryJokeHere*), And If you do get bullied remember to not give a reaction, that's all they want from you. (I'm not really good at giving advice at 3:40am)

I'll admit that NurseBarbra's reference to Family Guy made me laugh.

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

I've been harassed due to being genderqueer, instead of for my sexuality. I'm more open with my gender, not dressing or acting like how people thought I should. So all through my years at school, I was insulted or physically attacked (in petty ways) for being comfortable with myself.

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for avoiding it. What I did was ignore who was doing it and count down the days until I was out of school.

That is absolutely terrible what happened to your friend Larry. I would not wish that upon anyone. I'm glad to hear he is fine now but it is quite scarey to think it happened in the first place.

Yes, that's what it means.

A person isn't worried about contempt when they're at risk of becoming the next Matthew Sheppard. If someone was to get physically bashed, I'd fully support their right to shoot their assailant(s). Hell, I'd shoot them if I were to see that happen. I'll be legally carrying one of these around once I turn 21, so they better not let me catch them.

This is easily the most satisfying thing I have read all day. I'm so sorry all that happened to you, but what you made of it put the hugest smile on my face :)

Of course it's not a private party! Welcome, thanks for being here :) and thanks for sharing your story!

That's not stupid, that's unfortunately where a lot of us are. That's why groups like these are created :)

....That was great. I hope you stuck it to him good. It's nice to know you are proud of who you are and won't stand for bullying :) .

I'll be joining this, of course. I'm gay, y'all & I'm the president of my university's Gay/Straight Alliance.

Being gay and not having my voice heard/represented. I can't exactly say who my inspiration was. It's quite a conglomeration of people.

Yes, I have.
The first idea that my parents had I was gay was when I was thirteen and wrote about it in a spiral. They told me it was just a phase, and I was too young to be certain.
Time went on, and things would happen, but they'd continually say it was a phase.
I got my first boyfriend in the fall of my senior year of high school [around November 2009], and well . . . due to them finding something (;]) on my computer, I blurted out to my mom, "Well this makes it easier for me to tell you: I have a boyfriend."

We didn't talk about it much until the summer of 2010, when I entered my next relationship. There was a lot of crying on both ends, but yeah. She told me she still loved me.

My mom told my dad at my request in December of 2010. He was really upset at first, but by the end of the month . . i actually brought my boyfriend home from college during the week of New Year's and they met him.

After certain recent events in my life [early april 2011] [which effected my activity on PC, which is why remaking the group wasn't my number one priority], my parents and I have actually gotten a lot closer. My dad and I had a rather long conversation about me being gay, and yeah. He's pretty much okay with it. He just thinks flaunting it everywhere is tacky - and I agree. I'm not going to shove my sexuality down anyone's throat. I'm the same person I've always been, I just like guys.

Regardless, my parents, over time, have come to accept it, and yeah. while it took a few years, it happened. :]

With my friends . . . well it was awkward.
When I told my closest friend [at the time], she thought I was asking her out. Needless to say, we weren't very close afterwards. She later told me that she prayed for me to change back. [we've hence made up, though]

Most of my other friends were pretty okay with it. I either told them, or they found out because I was dating this guy who went to school with us. It was actually kinda funny - even the teachers were talking about us XD;

I agree, to an extent. However, the fact of the matter is that we still live in a hetero-normative society where most people are assumed to be straight. I know if I didn't come out to my parents, life would be absurdly weird, and awkward.

Bashed? Not particularly. I've been called hag, and whatnot, but other than that, nothing physical occurred.

and, yeah.
hi.

Hey everyone and welcome to all the new people!

Sorry for not posting, I've been busy again but most stuff is out of the way so I will start posting regularly with news.

GAY NEWS--

• Heck: Lady Gaga And Don Lemon show that gay "fad" is leading to "sexual anarchy"
• Catholic doctors offer homeopathic 'treatment' for homosexuality
• Same-sex couples joined in ‘historic’ civil union ceremonies

Hiya Erik!!! :D i was wondering when you'd pop up here xD

It actually makes me feel sick reading about how people think they can 'cure' any other sexuality different than hetero. The only thing that is special about being straight is that you can breed, yet most of this hate is coming from a religion where if you completely dedicate yourself to the religion your not allowed to have children.
It just doesn't make sense to me.

Hi Erik<33 :)

Quote:

It actually makes me feel sick reading about how people think they can 'cure' any other sexuality than hetero. The only thing that is special about being straight is that you can breed, yet most of this hate is coming from a religion where if you completely dedicate yourself to the religion your not allowed to have children. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Haha, never thought of it that way, that the only advantage to being straight is that I can breed (though, I don't really wanna).

Also, what is intersex? It's the I of the group, but I don't think anyone has joined as that, so I was just wondering what it meant exactly. ^^;

So are they saying that only hetero's should or can be cured?

Intersex covers a lot of things, usually people who have anatomy that isn't clearly male or female. It can also be something like a person with male chromosomes who develops outwardly as female. (I've actually met someone like this.) And it can also be used by people who don't want to be identified as either female or male.

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

Yeah, I have. On top of occasional slurs and things I had rocks thrown at me and the other people I was with by a bunch of hicks at my high school's homecoming while we were on our GSA float. That part was actually not so bad, but tt got kind of dangerous after when I didn't have that (somewhat) safe distance and was on my own. I got confronted, threatened and so I ran away as fast as I could. Lucky for me a teacher noticed and followed me before I could do anything stupid.

I really don't know how to avoid it. To some degree it's just going to happen. Trying to physically defend yourself isn't a great idea because usually things happen when you're outnumbered. The best thing to do is never be alone anywhere you feel unsafe.

I'm not at all comfortable with the idea of using weapons because that could escalate things to a very dangerous place very quickly and I'd rather be beaten up than killed. Like I said already, there are usually more of them than there are of you so even a gun wouldn't necessarily keep you safe. You can't always rely on bystanders to intervene either. Sometimes they will, but most people don't want to get involved.

May I join also? It'd be cool to rejoin the alliance again from the social group.

I need something like this! I'm a closeted MtoF transgender (for those creepers who really need to know,) and I'd be absolutely devastated if anyone found out; mostly because I'm not sure how they would handle it. And because I'm going through the later stages of...physical maturity, and my dad would say it's just a part of my "who am I?" phase.

In answer to all of the questions adressed previously:

What got you into supporting LGBT rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

I would say that no one really "inspired" me, per se, just the fact that I'm someone who seeks equal rights and treatment for all, justice, etc. etc. But really got me into the supporting was when my mom brought home this gay/lesbian/general homosexuality documentary, and at the time I was twelve and I thought I was gay, and was actually thinking about coming out as gay to my mother. This should be saved for later, though. Anyway, after that we all (except my obnoxious brother) became avid LGB (no "T" at the time; I didn't really know anything about them) Rights supporters. And so.

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

I have not ever come out of the closet, not once. I actually have been thinking about it as a whole, though, recently, and I'm just bursting to tell someone (as I have now); instead, I'll tell you the story of how I came to identify as female, despite what was in my pants...

I was thirteen, and I had overheard the word "transgender" in a heated debate on television or whatever. Using my superior spelling skillz, I decoded the word as meaning "cross-gender," but looked up, anyway, on Google, "transgender."

I was shocked at what I found. I found something stating that a transgender youth may or may not be uncomfortable with various or all stages of puberty. That being read, I learned more, and found out that I was, in fact, a mildly gender-variant child earlier in life, always wanting to play with my cousins' Barbies and kitchen sets. Whenever I played "made-believe" as a younger child of about five to eight, I would always play from a female perspective and play a female-empowering woman right in front of everyone else. I was also always hovering over skirts and my mom's and cousins' hair, always wanting to comb it or put it up in a ponytail (I actually did live through my mom at one point while I was seven) and actually once prance around in my mom's shoes.


And then I could identify, on further analysis, with many...hints, for lack of a better word, and found that my gender identity differed from my physical sex. And so I came to identify myself as a Male to Female transgender.


Now ain't that a lovely li'l anecdote?


Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself?

Luckily, neither I nor any of my friends have been gay-bashed, because no one knows about my...condition, and because of the fact that my school is somewhat gay-friendly. And while acting gay is a popular joke among kids my age around town, I hardly ever partake for the sake of respect.

And if you or anyone around you is being gay-bashed, if it's verbal, I suggest to ignore it and, if that doesn't work, confront whoever and tell them that something to the effect that you are a person too, and that you have rights, and from your eyes, what they do is unfavorable. In a physical case, though, stand up for yourself and don't let them hurt you. Or, at least try. And, if all else fails, just go and tell an authority figure that you are being harassed; no need for the reason. Harassment is enough of an...immoral act, if you will?

And in regard to anyone who might need it, if you are being told you dong belong or shouldn't exist, or what you are is unnatural, if you believe in a God and if they believe in a God, then inquire, "Why, then, if I'm not meant to be here or am unnatural or undesirable, did God make me the way I am? And don't say He made a mistake, because He doesn't make mistakes." Or something to that effect.

I hope to be active here and to gain positive feedback, help, and just people like me to talk to. :3