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  #2251    
Old February 14th, 2012 (6:35 AM).
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TwiDragon View Post
    Third off, Is there any words for transgendered people that you guys feel as insulting? A lot of terms feel to have negative feeling to them for me such as tranny, shemale, and even transvestite. Does anyone prefer the other terms, or do they not care?
    While I'm still not 100% sure of what I fall under right now I still want to throw in my opinion.
    I feel less insulted by the names but more by the 'black and white' ideals that some people have. That is to say, I'm not overly bothered personally when someone says "tranny" in my presence so long as its not said in a hateful context but when people start saying things like "You were born female so you have to dress female. Dressing as a male/binding is just wrong." I must admit it gets to me (I know that sounds overly sensitive).
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      #2252    
    Old February 14th, 2012 (8:03 AM).
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    Originally Posted by Kura View Post
    You bring up a really interesting question Ty.. and all I can say is that personally I find I can find a guy more attractive when he wears something that accentuates his male figure. Like a fitted suit that is tailored to fit his wide shoulders and all that. So I'm curious to ask if people who find a sort of sexual attraction thing to cossdressing.. is it because a guy in a dress accentuates his femininity? Would you say some people find that sort of attractiveness in the ambiguity of gender? (Some people like girly guys so they think it's more attractive to see them in something frilly.. or the same with tomgirls?) I dunno.. I can only really answer for myself but I'm curious as to what other people are attracted to in regards to that.
    For me I find there's something attractive about confidence so I can totally see someone who crossdresses as attractive. You gotta have that if you're going to wear clothes made for other people. I guess that's more of a personality thing than a physical thing, but still, confidence and generally looking nice are both attractive and you don't see as many sloppy crossdressers as you do non-crossdressers. So yeah, I guess in my mind a person who crossdresses has confidence and style. Plus, with guys who crossdress anyway, there's usually that added element of beautifying themselves with makeup and whatnot that, if done right, can bring out someone's good looks.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ctrl.Alt.Geak View Post
    While I'm still not 100% sure of what I fall under right now I still want to throw in my opinion.
    I feel less insulted by the names but more by the 'black and white' ideals that some people have. That is to say, I'm not overly bothered personally when someone says "tranny" in my presence so long as its not said in a hateful context but when people start saying things like "You were born female so you have to dress female. Dressing as a male/binding is just wrong." I must admit it gets to me (I know that sounds overly sensitive).
    That doesn't sound overly sensitive. It's a perfectly understandable and reasonable response. I mean, someone saying that is trying to dictate how you express yourself, trying to tell you that they know more about you than you do, and that's just ridiculously wrong.
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      #2253    
    Old February 14th, 2012 (12:24 PM). Edited February 14th, 2012 by Magdalena~.
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      About finding crossdressing attractive; I'm typically a lesbian but I think feminine guys or guys in cute girl clothing, or with bows or braids in their hair, are just really really really cute. xD
      Quote:
      Originally Posted by TwiDragon View Post
      Third off, Is there any words for transgendered people that you guys feel as insulting? A lot of terms feel to have negative feeling to them for me such as tranny, shemale, and even transvestite. Does anyone prefer the other terms, or do they not care?
      Well first off (lol third off first off), almost nothing really offends me, but as for what I find offensive or insensitive, no actual words bother me even remotely. Actually I find "tranny" and "trap" to be funny and cute despite that they're supposed to be insults. I would only find it an insult if someone used a hateful or condescending tone, and in that case it wouldn't matter what words they used.

      Now, aside from that, I agree with this post:

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Ctrl.Alt.Geak View Post
      I feel less insulted by the names but more by the 'black and white' ideals that some people have. That is to say, I'm not overly bothered personally when someone says "tranny" in my presence so long as its not said in a hateful context but when people start saying things like "You were born female so you have to dress female. Dressing as a male/binding is just wrong." I must admit it gets to me (I know that sounds overly sensitive).
      Also the whole "used to be a guy/girl", "wants to be a woman/man", "became", "pretending" thing. Improper terminology also bugs me but I force myself to be understanding since it's unreasonable to expect the general populace to know all this terminology about something, especially if it's something they've only barely heard of.


      Offtopic: Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Why wub joo all!

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        #2254    
      Old February 14th, 2012 (12:35 PM).
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      "Tranny" "Trap" etc are all idk I hate them, they don't need to be said in an insulting fashion for me to cringe at the sound (or sight) of them because no matter how you say it they are degrading and insulting terms.
      And going on what Maggie said the whole "used to be.." "became.." "wants to be.." thing really bugs me because really. If you identify as female you have always been female and if you identify as male you have always been male that's all there is to it in my opinion..

      Unless of course you're genderqueer in which case I suppose it's different? Whatever you identify as you've always been I guess..
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        #2255    
      Old February 14th, 2012 (1:33 PM).
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        Glad I got some response ^.^
        Yeah, the words themselves don't offend me personally, I just get a dirtier feeling towards them. I perfer the term transgendered, crossgendered, or crossdresser. Even "trap" sounds kind of cute. However, "tranny" and "transvestite" feel a lot dirtier.
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          #2256    
        Old February 14th, 2012 (1:54 PM).
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        Trick and trap sound kinda cute to me idk. Probably cause I was making a Poke persona (I guess you'd call it!) which was a legendary Pokemon and obviously, they're genderless in the game. But I decided to go with it still being genderless, and a friend suggested it could be "Traptini" since it was genderless, lol. /dumb story

        I really hate the terms like shemale, he-she, it, etc though. Tranny doesn't bother me, though I'll be honest and it makes me think of a male-to-female trans that doesn't know how to put on make up correctly and needs me to guide them in cosmetology because even I could do better than that and they also need a new wardrobe etc. ...I'm going to shut up now!
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          #2257    
        Old February 14th, 2012 (1:59 PM).
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          I think that tranny/transvestite are generally improper. The equivalent of fa*got or homo for gay people. However, it depends on the context. For some reason, it is common for a minority to call oneself by a generally negative term. Like the N word for blacks, hag for gays, and yeah, sometimes transgender people will call themselves trannies; this same type of behavior can sometimes be extended to close friends of minorities who obviously do not intend for the negative connotations. So I think it's more of the connotation to the word in its context, rather than the word itself in most cases.
            #2258    
          Old February 14th, 2012 (2:01 PM).
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          I always thought trap was a cute word for it. It's a little different from the others though anyway, isn't it? I thought it meant that you weren't actually transgendered, but just looked like/dressed like a girl. I mean, Hideyoshi never even dressed up, and was constantly arguing that he's a guy, but everyone says he's a trap.
            #2259    
          Old February 14th, 2012 (2:54 PM).
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          If I'm gonna be perfectly honest I prefer when people don't refer to someone being transgender and just says 'woman' or 'boy' or whatever. There are probably only a handful of times and places where it would be important/necessary/permissible to bring up someone's gender like this.
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            #2260    
          Old February 14th, 2012 (3:16 PM).
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          Not gonna lie, I find "trap" to be a hilarious term in this context. I'm sorry, I think it's fun. It's all about how it's said, I think. Then again, I'm a gay man who thinks its hysterical when I'm called a "hagmuffin" so I may not be the best yardstick for what's acceptable. I just have a really wide sense of humour lmao.
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            #2261    
          Old February 14th, 2012 (3:19 PM).
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            ^Yeah, I see you more as a girl. You are transgendered, don't get me wrong, but when I refer to you. Your a girl :3 The only time I need to bring it up is when I'm curious about it.

            At the moment, I don't think it is proper to call me transgender, as I'm still wearing the same clothing and talking the same as I did last week. So, I'm not expected to get called out of being a "transgendered girl" when I still look like the same old me as I've looked like a few months before.

            Also, I am doing some crossdressing Thursday. I will just be playing with hair and outfits, but thats it. If anyone is curious to see what I look like, maybe give some tips/advice and what not. PM me, I'll see if your trustworthy and what not ^.^
            (I'm still a bit shy about it, but I'm opening up......)
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              #2262    
            Old February 14th, 2012 (3:56 PM).
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
            Not gonna lie, I find "trap" to be a hilarious term in this context. I'm sorry, I think it's fun. It's all about how it's said, I think. Then again, I'm a gay man who thinks its hysterical when I'm called a "hagmuffin" so I may not be the best yardstick for what's acceptable. I just have a really wide sense of humour lmao.
            Haha, anything would be funny with the word muffin attached to it. Murdermuffin. <3


            2222 posts, lol.
              #2263    
            Old February 14th, 2012 (5:29 PM). Edited February 14th, 2012 by TwiDragon.
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              ^Hmm, I use pie for things. I call Ashley all sorts of names that end with 'pie' <3

              Wanted to say one more thing. When I think of a 'trap', I think of anime/manga characters who crossdress or are transgendered. I don't find that word insulting, and I actually think its pretty cute ^.^

              Really, a lot of 'trap' artwork on sites like gel/safe booru are very adorable <3

              EDIT - While this thread is nice and all, I do need to ask. I'm looking for an online community that has a target auidence towards transexuals, cross dressers, or just the LGBTS moment in general. I would really like to see more personal experinces and see how other people live through it. While pudz is awesome for sharing her story, I would like to communicate with others.
              So does anyone know any site at all?
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                #2264    
              Old February 14th, 2012 (6:50 PM).
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                When I hear the word "trap" in reference to transsexual people, I think of this:
                Spoiler:


                Quote:
                Originally Posted by TwiDragon View Post
                Glad I got some response ^.^
                Yeah, the words themselves don't offend me personally, I just get a dirtier feeling towards them. I perfer the term transgendered, crossgendered, or crossdresser.
                Is grammar naziing acceptable here? xD If so, you're not supposed to say "transgendered" or "crossgendered". The "-ed" is unnecessary and incorrect. Just something I've learned and now wish to pedant people about. /wut

                Also here's this: http://forum.trueselves.com/

                We're turning into a trans thread a lot lately. o3o
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                #167: Spinarak - The String Spit Pokémon
                Bug/Poison ~ Bug eggs
                1'08" ~ 18.7lbs ~ 50/50

                It lies still in the same pose for days in its web,
                waiting for its unsuspecting prey to wander close.

                Abilities: Swarm or Insomnia or Sniper
                Moves: String Shot, Scary Face, Shadow Sneak, Pin Missile
                Locations: Routes 2, 30, 31, 37 (night)
                Cry
                Other names:

                jp: イトマル (Itomaru)
                de: Webarak
                fr: Mimigal
                ko: 페이검 (Pe'igǒm)
                  #2265    
                Old February 14th, 2012 (7:37 PM).
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                  ^Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I never was an English Major xD
                  Anyways, thanks for the link! I joined the site :3
                  I really like how strict the membership 'signing up' is. I guess its a great way to rid of trolls.
                  Smart.
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                    #2266    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (2:34 AM). Edited February 15th, 2012 by Alice.
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                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by TwiDragon View Post
                  ^Hmm, I use pie for things. I call Ashley all sorts of names that end with 'pie' <3

                  Wanted to say one more thing. When I think of a 'trap', I think of anime/manga characters who crossdress or are transgendered. I don't find that word insulting, and I actually think its pretty cute ^.^

                  Really, a lot of 'trap' artwork on sites like gel/safe booru are very adorable <3

                  EDIT - While this thread is nice and all, I do need to ask. I'm looking for an online community that has a target auidence towards transexuals, cross dressers, or just the LGBTS moment in general. I would really like to see more personal experinces and see how other people live through it. While pudz is awesome for sharing her story, I would like to communicate with others.
                  So does anyone know any site at all?
                  I would also recommend Empty Closets. It's a site I just found a few days ago, and while it's not specifically for transexuals, it definitely has quite a few of them on the site. It's geared more toward helping people with their problems rather than just being a community though.

                  Well, I have no clue why, but I really feel like I should tell my dad now. As in, I had a nervous breakdown last night because I couldn't get up the courage to do it.

                  So, we're going to the store now, and I'm hopefully going to tell him. If all goes well, he won't swerve into a tree and kill us. lol (He's told me that he supports gays and thinks that we should be able to get married and all that, so I think I'll be fine.)
                    #2267    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (2:53 PM).
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                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post

                  Well, I have no clue why, but I really feel like I should tell my dad now. As in, I had a nervous breakdown last night because I couldn't get up the courage to do it.

                  So, we're going to the store now, and I'm hopefully going to tell him. If all goes well, he won't swerve into a tree and kill us. lol (He's told me that he supports gays and thinks that we should be able to get married and all that, so I think I'll be fine.)
                  Good luck! I was all excited when i read this; it's like, I hope it all goes well! let us know how it goes over, if you feel like it. ^_^

                  And I know what you mean about gathering up the courage; it is hard to do so. But you can do it! :D
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                    #2268    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (2:58 PM).
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                  He sighed very heavily when we got in the car, and when I asked him what was wrong, he said that he has so much to worry about that it's overwhelming him.

                  It's not gonna happen. =/
                    #2269    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (3:05 PM).
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                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
                  He sighed very heavily when we got in the car, and when I asked him what was wrong, he said that he has so much to worry about that it's overwhelming him.

                  It's not gonna happen. =/
                  Well damn. Yeah I wouldn't do it then either. ;____; Better luck next time, then. :\
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                    #2270    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (4:38 PM).
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                  1. Pikapal where have you been?!

                  2.
                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by QuilavaKing
                  As in, I had a nervous breakdown last night because I couldn't get up the courage to do it.
                  You had a nervous breakdown? Are you OK? I don't understand, was it because you're sick of lying to him or because you were working yourself up over it? What's wrong?

                  Also you were probably right not to choose that moment - but at the same time remember that there is never going to be a 'good time' to do it. From memory of your posts, your family isn't in the best place right now, so finding a perfect moment might be very difficult. Just keep that in mind
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                    #2271    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (4:56 PM).
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                  No, there's a few reasons. I think it's primarily because my Grandma died a month ago, and I saw a commercial of a guy about my age driving his grandma to see the house she grew up in. I didn't cry when they told me she died, or at the funeral, but when I saw that commercial, coupled with stressing myself out over trying to tell him, and a few other things. I just couldn't handle it.
                    #2272    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (5:00 PM).
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                  Oh, I see

                  *hugs*

                  When I came out to my parents, I had to make sure that I had my head right around it and I made absolutely sure I was not stressed about it in the slightest. I did it in the most flippant way possible. I didn't sit them down and say "I need to tell you something", I just said it off-hand in a conversation so they didn't get the opportunity to make a big deal out of it. They still tried of course, but I shot them down immediately.
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                    #2273    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (5:08 PM).
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                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
                  1. Pikapal where have you been?!
                  Lurking! xD I didn't have much to say on all the transgendered topics, since everyone else already pretty much said what I feel. :P Lol, I only seem to post when the topic is about gay people. >__>

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
                  No, there's a few reasons. I think it's primarily because my Grandma died a month ago, and I saw a commercial of a guy about my age driving his grandma to see the house she grew up in. I didn't cry when they told me she died, or at the funeral, but when I saw that commercial, coupled with stressing myself out over trying to tell him, and a few other things. I just couldn't handle it.
                  -hugs QuilavaKing as well- ;__;

                  Stress is like, a really horrible thing. Compounded with a relative dying, and it even worse. I remember my grandfather dying, and I cried a bit during it, but I cried the most months after the funeral and hearing others talk about their grandfathers. So yeah, I think I understand how you feel. ;__;
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                    #2274    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (5:33 PM).
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                  I should also clarify that when I say nervous breakdown I mean I cried for a few minutes. I haven't cried in so many years I didn't even remember what it was like... or understand how it was possible to lose control of your emotions that much.
                    #2275    
                  Old February 15th, 2012 (6:11 PM).
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                  Quote:
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                  I should also clarify that when I say nervous breakdown I mean I cried for a few minutes. I haven't cried in so many years I didn't even remember what it was like... or understand how it was possible to lose control of your emotions that much.
                  A few minutes, a few hours, doesn't make much of a difference to me. :\ I'm really sorry that happened to you. ;__;
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