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  #2276    
Old February 15th, 2012 (8:13 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
When I came out to my parents, I had to make sure that I had my head right around it and I made absolutely sure I was not stressed about it in the slightest. I did it in the most flippant way possible. I didn't sit them down and say "I need to tell you something", I just said it off-hand in a conversation so they didn't get the opportunity to make a big deal out of it. They still tried of course, but I shot them down immediately.
Yeah, that's more or less what I was trying to do originally. I hung out with them all valentine's day expecting him to mention my lack of a girlfriend at some point, and I'd intentionally talk myself into a corner, so it seems like I'm not intentionally coming out. Obviously, no one ever mentioned it, even though almost every show we watched that night had some mention of gays, and one of them even had a father think his son was coming out to him when he really wasn't. (Which was just a joke, since it was a comedy, but still.)


I even watched two episodes of Smash, even though I barely know who Marilyn Monroe is, nor do I have any interest in theater, and they didn't suspect that there was possibly some other reason that I was spending time with them.

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  #2277    
Old February 15th, 2012 (8:44 PM).
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    I have opened up to my dad, and while things where kept simple and blunt. It went well.

    I'm really glad that I have parents that accept me <3

    I don't want to turn this thread back into transgender'd themed, but I'm really happy. I feel more like "me" than ever before ^.^
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      #2278    
    Old February 15th, 2012 (8:49 PM).
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    The one thing I learned form my experience is that people will only see what they want to see. I was so sure before I came out that my parents already knew I was gay. I was an 18 year old boy who had never ever had a girlfriend, much less even shown interest in a girl, and I voluntarily watched Gilmore Girls, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. The fact that my mother hints constantly to my sister that she needs to find a boyfriend and never even approached the subject of me finding a girlfriend made me think "heyyy... yeah they totally know." So when I flippantly told them, I honestly wasn't expecting much of a reaction.

    But they had no freaking clue whatsoever. Apparently despite the 83 clues I'd left them, the fact that I wasn't effeminate in my mannerisms or speech apparently made it impossible to figure out. So yeah, I'm not surprised that they picked up on none of your clues lol.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Pikapal642
    Lurking! xD I didn't have much to say on all the transgendered topics, since everyone else already pretty much said what I feel. Lol, I only seem to post when the topic is about gay people. >__>
    lmao yeah I get what you're saying. I find it fascinating to read about all the transgendered topics but I find it hard coming up with things to contribute!
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      #2279    
    Old February 15th, 2012 (8:52 PM).
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      meh, I had a crappy 'coming out' to my parents and then they forgot it happened 'til they caught me E-dating, and they've forgot once again, and I don't feel like doing it again because I don't want to hear their bigotrist crap again
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        #2280    
      Old February 15th, 2012 (8:57 PM).
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        Hopefully in the end the reaction was positive. Hopefully they didn't do anything like kick you out of your home or anything like that. If they did, then I'm sorry :c
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          #2281    
        Old February 15th, 2012 (9:04 PM).
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        Quote:
        Originally Posted by [Snivy Baroque] View Post
        meh, I had a crappy 'coming out' to my parents :( and then they forgot it happened 'til they caught me E-dating, and they've forgot once again, and I don't feel like doing it again because I don't want to hear their bigotrist crap again >:(
        Aww, I feel so bad for you...;___; When you can move out on your own, it'll get better. You will be better able to ignore their bigotrist crap, if you so choose. :3

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
        lmao yeah I get what you're saying. I find it fascinating to read about all the transgendered topics but I find it hard coming up with things to contribute!
        That's why I just posted a quick thanks for all the info a while back. xD

        Also, on the topic of coming out! xD My parents were completely shocked. Of course, they found out when I was 15, so I hadn't had as much time to have them wonder about lack of girlfriends and whatnot. :P What was funnier was when my brother found out, since I was 20 when he found out, was that he also never had a clue. He just figured I was socially awkward (which is still true, just, not relevant in this case. xD) So he sat there all like "Woah" and I just said "Lemme guess, you're thinking...IT ALL MAKES SENSE" and he just laughed and replied "YES IT DOES"
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          #2282    
        Old February 15th, 2012 (9:18 PM).
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        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
        The one thing I learned form my experience is that people will only see what they want to see. I was so sure before I came out that my parents already knew I was gay. I was an 18 year old boy who had never ever had a girlfriend, much less even shown interest in a girl, and I voluntarily watched Gilmore Girls, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. The fact that my mother hints constantly to my sister that she needs to find a boyfriend and never even approached the subject of me finding a girlfriend made me think "heyyy... yeah they totally know." So when I flippantly told them, I honestly wasn't expecting much of a reaction.

        But they had no freaking clue whatsoever. Apparently despite the 83 clues I'd left them, the fact that I wasn't effeminate in my mannerisms or speech apparently made it impossible to figure out. So yeah, I'm not surprised that they picked up on none of your clues lol.
        Well, I'm a 20 year old guy who's never showed any interest in girls, lol. I've even been asked out a few times, and turned them down every time. Then again, I've always used to say "Games are more fun than girls." when someone asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend, which was entirely true at the time, so I suppose they don't have any reason to think otherwise at this point.

        My mom does already know as far as I know though. (Unless she forgot or something. I can't honestly tell. lol) I told her not to tell my dad because I wanted to do it myself, and then just never did. I decided that it didn't matter enough, and if he ever actually asked me, I would tell him. For some reason, I just feel like I need to now though. I don't know why.
          #2283    
        Old February 15th, 2012 (9:27 PM).
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          ^I know whatcha mean. I was going to wait to tell my dad, but I was just afraid that I would get caught doing something, and a scene would break out. I told him, and everything was fine. If your parents love you, then they will accept you ^.^
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            #2284    
          Old February 15th, 2012 (9:33 PM).
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by [Snivy Baroque] View Post
          meh, I had a crappy 'coming out' to my parents and then they forgot it happened 'til they caught me E-dating, and they've forgot once again, and I don't feel like doing it again because I don't want to hear their bigotrist crap again
          Don't believe for a second that they "forgot". They didn't forget a thing, that's quite simply not something you forget. They're trying to pretend that it doesn't exist in the hope that it'll go away.
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            #2285    
          Old February 15th, 2012 (9:43 PM).
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
          Don't believe for a second that they "forgot". They didn't forget a thing, that's quite simply not something you forget. They're trying to pretend that it doesn't exist in the hope that it'll go away.
          Yeah, I kind of figure that's the case with my mom as well. Maybe I should just tell her at the same time as if neither of them know.
            #2286    
          Old February 15th, 2012 (10:38 PM).
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          TornZero TornZero is offline
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            God, I need to post in here more. >< I can never seem to find something to say that hasn't already been said before, but when I do, I feel like I start to ramble. So I shall put my rambling in spoilers.

            But first, a belated welcome to [Snivy Baroque] from another random member!

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by TwiDragon View Post
            ^I know whatcha mean. I was going to wait to tell my dad, but I was just afraid that I would get caught doing something, and a scene would break out. I told him, and everything was fine. If your parents love you, then they will accept you ^.^
            I can't say anything about acceptance from one's parents unless they're fairly open-minded (darn you, lucky people here with tolerant parents!); you're more likely to get acceptance from any siblings you may have, since they've likely seen most of the same things you have.

            Spoiler:
            I haven't personally come out to my family (though my older brother found out and, in spite of his Christianity, supports it as part of me and hasn't told anyone), but my little brother one day just told our parents and everyone else that he was gay. (It was just last year, him being 14 at the time.) Since our mom has a gay aunt (and I think this helped a little), she decided to leave what happens to him to God, but both she and our dad try to avoid having to admit to anyone that he's gay.

            Granted (and I honestly agree with them a little on this), because of his age, they think it's likely a phase. He brought up the topic almost completely at random (but failed to keep it from being serious), and he acts with little knowledge of the community. It really just feels like he's exploring right now, and until another year or so passes without any changes (when he's 16-18 and he's actually thinking more with his head than his curiosity, as per the majority of my family's off-topic experiences), I doubt that feeling will change. But exploring is just fine with me; and if he comes to realize he's not gay? Our parents will probably be overjoyed, considering their aforementioned reaction.
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              #2287    
            Old February 16th, 2012 (1:07 AM).
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            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP4clbHc4Xg

            Someone posted this on another forum, and I thought I should post it here. Every band member has their own personal It Gets Better video too.
              #2288    
            Old February 16th, 2012 (1:43 AM).
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
            Yeah, I kind of figure that's the case with my mom as well. Maybe I should just tell her at the same time as if neither of them know.
            I wouldn't bother lol - she knows. I'd just bring a guy home to meet her one time and see what happens haha.

            TornZero, don't worry about rambling lol - we love that here! I'm not as sure as you are that your brother's sexuality is just a phase. I read somewhere that male sexuality is stagnant, while female sexuality can be fluid. So while females may go through phases like this, it's highly less likely that males will ever change. So unless he's doing it for attention (which is not something I would ever do for attention but I digress) then I think he could be the real deal. Of course, I have no science or references to back this up and it's just my opinion, but I did read it somewhere I'm sure of it lol
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              #2289    
            Old February 16th, 2012 (1:48 AM).
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            Quote:
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            I wouldn't bother lol - she knows. I'd just bring a guy home to meet her one time and see what happens haha.
            Haha, if only. I'm pretty sure I'm the only gay guy in town though. lol
              #2290    
            Old February 16th, 2012 (12:58 PM).
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            Yeah, I'm sure I'm not literally the only one... but the odds of finding one are pretty dang slim.
              #2291    
            Old February 16th, 2012 (1:25 PM).
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
              TornZero, don't worry about rambling lol - we love that here! I'm not as sure as you are that your brother's sexuality is just a phase. I read somewhere that male sexuality is stagnant, while female sexuality can be fluid. So while females may go through phases like this, it's highly less likely that males will ever change.
              Mine's actually pretty unpredictable; I use "bisexual" because it's easier for people to understand than "fluid."

              As for my li'l bro, he's the youngest in my family and acts like the typical "family baby." It's actually believable with him if he does something like this to get attention. At least he made a friend/boyfriend that he actually enjoys being around out of it, so romantic orientation I have no doubts about.
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                #2292    
              Old February 16th, 2012 (4:57 PM).
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              Well I guess it doesn't really matter either way. It's sweet that he's found somebody so young though for him to have found a boyfriend is a pretty big commitment to an attention-seeking endeavour. It means if he does turn out to be straight in the end, he'll never live it down haha.
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                #2293    
              Old February 16th, 2012 (6:15 PM).
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                My family doesn't let anyone else in the family live anything down. I mentioned a couple hundred posts back that the 12-year-old niece of my mom's co-worker flat out said, "He's HO~T," about my little brother. We still make a joke out of it, even though it's been a few months now.
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                  #2294    
                Old February 16th, 2012 (8:03 PM).
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                  meh, mine act like they forget, then find those small moments to insult me that hurt the most thinking that'll "fix me," *sigh*
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                    #2295    
                  Old February 16th, 2012 (8:41 PM).
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                  Oh, "fixing" comments. I feel for you. I at least had family who preferred not to talk about, well, anything. It made things a little easier in some respects.
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                    #2296    
                  Old February 16th, 2012 (8:49 PM).
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                    yea, but I basically live in Redneck Bigotry Central, which makes iteven worse
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                      #2297    
                    Old February 16th, 2012 (8:57 PM).
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                    That must be bad. I've lived in pretty progressive areas mostly and even then they aren't a cakewalk. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be in the middle of a place like that.
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                      #2298    
                    Old February 16th, 2012 (9:12 PM).
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                    Yeah, sounds like where I live. Luckily I don't think anyone would ever guess that I'm gay, and my parents are fairly accepting, even though no one else here would be.

                    I mean, my mom basically said that I was a disgusting failure when I told her (I'm paraphrasing, but that's what she said whether she realized it or not.) but she also said that she would do her best to accept it, and has actually stopped making comments about how evil gays are.
                      #2299    
                    Old February 16th, 2012 (11:15 PM).
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                      I've been working with my voice for the past few days, and I have made some progress. What do you guys think
                      http://vocaroo.com/i/s0TbookM6uTS
                      I'm a bit nervous about it, but I shouldn't be >.<

                      Any feedback is good c:

                      On other news, I opened up to all my friends on facebook, and they all love me the same. I'm really happy about it all! c:

                      EDIT - I wanted to make a few things clear on the voice: It kind of goes a bit everywhere towards the end, I'm aware of it. Holding this voice for a lentgh is the big problem. The longest time I was able to hold this voice was 5 minutes and 12 seconds. Which was before recording. ^.^;;
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                        #2300    
                      Old February 17th, 2012 (3:38 PM).
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                      Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
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                      Your real voice is a lot deeper and manlier than I thought it would be for someone who's only 16 haha - then again, I was kind of a late developer voice-wise so I guess my opinion is skewed - as for the voice you're aspiring to, I don't really know how to judge it because I'm not sure what it is you're aiming for. Is it just more femininity you're after? Because if so then you're definitely on the right track but it definitely still needs some work.

                      Also guys, I was on Facebook this morning and came across this article. It's kind of similar to one that was posted here a while back, about those really accepting parents with a son who identifies as gay. From the similarities of the stories, it may well even be the same mother writing it. Regardless, positivity is always nice to read . But then I got to the comment stream and while most are positive, there is this one jerk who I lol'd at:

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by Someone Who is Totally the Executive of a Fortune 500 Company
                      Obviously the son hasn't a clue what he is talking about.
                      If he REALLY Does???
                      Time for Mom, Dad, and the Son to get some help, or contact the law.
                      When the son is 18, then he can "decide" to become Gay, or to take drugs, drink, go to college or any other decision he may want to make.
                      Sorry folks just cause you want it to be? Doesn't make it so...
                      That's 20 years of college from the finest schools, and the Exec. of a fortune 500 company talking.
                      I haven't a single issue with the Gay life style, but please... a 7 year old doesn't have a clue, and shouldn't have!
                      There are plenty of good responses to it, but here is mine:

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by ME!
                      You're an idiot. The fact that you did "20 years of college at the finest schools" and are the "exec of a Fortune 500 company" is very impressive, you know... kudos on that. Snaps for you. Neither, however, is a credential for you to make that judgment. And considerin­g you impart this wisdom on us with such authority despite providing no logical reasoning beyond your exciting-y­et-irrelev­ant job title, I'm guessing none of those 20 years in your fancy schooling were spent studying psychology­, biology or early childhood developmen­t. In other words, you know nothing.
                      I do love it when people on the internet are wrong...
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