Fan Fiction and Writing Have a story you want to share? Or in the mood to sit back and read one, instead? Then come hang out here!
Thread Tools
Old February 20th, 2012 (7:11 PM). Edited February 21st, 2012 by y stri.
y stri y stri is offline
Got no theme right now.
    Join Date: Mar 2008
    Location: Land of Heat and Clockwork
    Age: 19
    Gender: Female
    Nature: Naughty
    Posts: 113
    Hey, look, I might actually have an original fic idea!

    Anyways, this is A Seer’s Shadowy Path, the first in a series that I’m planning. I hope you enjoy it!

    Also, if you find any spelling/grammar wrong, please tell me.

    Okay, I think that’s it. Let’s get this thing started!

    Chapter One: Breaking Tradition

    It was often said that shiny Pokémon were more powerful than regular Pokémon. That turned out to be true. Shinies, as they were commonly called, had more powerful elemental abilities. And these same shinies were usually enlisted into the service of Mew and Arceus, the king and queen deities.

    One of these groups was the Seers of Mew. It was entirely comprised of male Psychic-type shinies. Female shinies went into the Oracles of Arceus, which accepted Pokémon of all types. That might have seemed imbalanced, but it wasn’t. Due to genetics, male shines were way more common than female ones.

    The Oracles of Arceus are a really interesting group, but the one group we’re focusing on is the Seers of Mew. The seers in the group were immortal and had amazing psychic powers, far above those of normal shinies. This was because they had drunk and been blessed with the blood of Mew Himself. Every year, Mew came to shed some blood for the oldest initiate in the Seers of Mew. And so, a new seer was ordained annually.

    Like every organization, the Seers of Mew had a dark secret . . . but for centuries, nobody knew of it.

    Until one day . . .

    “Dema! You’re back! And you’ve evolved!”

    Hearing his name, the blue Medicham turned to see a green Espeon charging at him. “Whoa!” he exclaimed. “Billy, calm down! I’ve only been gone for a year.”

    Exactly! A whole year! This place was so lame without you being around!” the Espeon, Billy, whined dramatically. “Come on! Can’t I be happy that my best friend’s back?”

    Dema sighed. Well, they were best friends. And honestly, it was great to see Billy too. “You know what?” he asked. “I’m actually pretty stoked to resume my seer training!” Just then, his stomach grumbled loudly. “Right after I get a good lunch and a nap. Meditating for a year on top of a chilly mountain with nothing to eat can take a lot out of you.”

    “You do that.” Billy flicked his forked tail in displeasure. “Did you have to remind me of seer training? Purify’s walking me through the Blessing of the Bells with Rapier again, and I do not want to put up with his bragging.”

    “What’s with Rapier, anyways?” Dema asked. “I mean, his name’s close enough to a true name. And he’s just an initiate, so he should have a normal placeholder name or something. Well, we’re the two oldest initiates, so it’s going to be either him or me being ordained.”

    “I hope it’s him,” Billy said. “That way, he’ll leave us alone. And besides, newly ordained seers act weird for a year or so. Maybe then Rapier will be nice to us.”

    “For a year or so,” Dema reminded him. “After that, he’ll go right back to —”


    The Medicham spun around and noticed a yellow-green Xatu making his way towards him. “Spiriteye!” he called out to the old seer. Spiriteye was one of the first Seers of Mew, and he was a good friend of Dema’s, regardless of age. “What brings you here?” he asked. The seers usually stayed deep inside the temple in places restricted to the initiates. Seeing one of them — especially such an important seer as Spiriteye — in the temple’s initiate hall was somewhat of a shock.

    “I’m not the only seer who’s come to see you,” the old bird said. At that moment, a large pink Alakazam walked up to them. He was the head seer and founder of the Seers of Mew. In fact, his true name was Seer. Seeing him in addition to Spiriteye just about threw everyone in a frenzy. Pokémon threw themselves onto the marble floor so hard that the impacts echoed through the hall.

    “That’s enough,” Seer said telepathically. He could speak normally, of course, but he preferred telepathy much better.

    Dema was in shock. Seer only came to the initiate hall once a year to talk to the newest initiates. If he and Spiriteye had come to see him, then it could only mean one thing. He was in trouble.

    Big trouble.

    “Seer!” he exclaimed, lifting his face off the floor. “It’s an honor that you’ve come to see me, though to be honest; it’s a surprise as well. What brings you here?” I’m not in trouble, am I? Dema thought.

    “Well, we are here to inform you that you have been chosen as the initiate who will be ordained this year,” replied Seer. “Also . . . congratulations on evolving.”

    “Thank you!” Dema gasped, still shocked. He was going to be ordained! And as far as he knew, his ordainment was tomorrow! To him, it wasn’t nearly enough time to get prepared! After all, he had missed a whole year of seer training. “But . . . what about Rapier?” he asked. “I mean, I’m not being ungrateful, but Rapier didn’t miss a whole year of seer training like I did.”

    “While it is true Rapier is far more skilled than you due to your lack of training, he still has a lot to learn,” Spiriteye explained. “Especially when it comes to humility.”

    “I have to admit, I wanted Rapier ordained first,” Seer admitted, “but as Spiriteye just explained, it would not be the best idea. Now, I must visit him. He is to do the Blessing of the Bells tomorrow with Billy — where is he?”

    “I’m here!” the Espeon shouted. “In fact, Purify’s going to show us the ritual right now.”

    “Oh, very well,” replied the head seer. “Go on, then. You’re late, and Purify is one temperamental Bronzong. I suppose Rapier’s at the temple’s inner sanctum already. I will speak to him after the session.”

    And with that, the two seers left. Dema couldn’t help but let out a relieved sigh when he saw them walk away. “That was scary!” he told Billy. “I thought I was in tro —” He paused, noticing his Espeon friend was gone. He did have that lesson to attend, after all.

    And so, Dema stuck with talking to himself. “All right, then. I’m getting something to eat.” He walked through the initiate hall, looking for the door that led off to the kitchen and dining hall. Actually, that was easier said than done, as he had been away from the temple for a year. It didn’t help that the initiate hall was ridiculously long due to all the initiates’ rooms.

    “For Mew’s sake! Where is the kitchen?!” he exclaimed, frustrated.

    “Well, I work there, so you should just ask me,” someone said. Dema looked over and saw that it was a Chimecho. Specifically, it was Suzu, the temple’s cook — for the initiate hall, at least. He wasn’t a seer, as he was just regular-colored. Another Pokémon like that apparently worked as the cook for the seers. None of the initiates really knew any specifics. The seers knew, of course, but it wasn’t important for them to mention.

    “Oh! Hey, Suzu. Got anything to eat?” Dema asked.

    The Chimecho laughed, which sounded a lot like bells ringing. “Dema, don’t tell me you’re hungry already! It’s far from suppertime. Say,” — he glanced at the Medicham — “I didn’t know evolving could take that much out of you. Or take an entire year, for that matter.”

    “In order for Meditites to evolve, they need complete mental clarity,” Dema explained. “And the only way to do that is to meditate on top of a mountain peak for a year with no food, drink, rest, or distractions. Which means I haven’t had anything to eat or drink for a year.”

    “All right then,” Suzu sighed, floating to the kitchen, “that’s a good enough reason for me to get you something to eat.”

    Dema followed him into the small room. It really hadn’t changed much since the last time he was in there. The kitchen was, in Dema’s opinion, a nice place. On one wall, a stove, oven, pantry, and sink were all lined up. On the other, a door led to the dining hall. A small table was in the middle of the room.

    Suzu was at the stove, stirring a pot of stew. “It’s almost done,” he said. “Help yourself. Also, there’s a berry tart in the pantry and some milk if you want.”

    “Thanks!” Dema replied. “I’ve seriously been starving!”

    That was the truth. The Medicham practically inhaled three good-sized bowls of stew, five glasses of milk, and two slices of fruit tart. “Hey, don’t clean my entire pantry out!” Suzu joked. “That food’s for all the initiates, you know.”

    “Don’t worry,” Dema said, washing out the plate and bowl and stuff like that he had used. “I’m done eating . . . until supper. Remember, I didn’t eat anything for a year.”

    The cook sighed. “You know what, I’ll . . . I’m going out and stocking up on food. Do you want to come with me?”

    “Sorry, but no,” Dema replied. “I’d better do some . . . seer training or something. I’m getting ordained tomorrow.”

    “Really? That’s great! When you’re a seer, remember to come down and see me some time, okay? But . . . for about a year or so, new seers act strange. It’s like they don’t remember anything.”

    Dema frowned. He had completely forgotten about that it hadn’t mattered before. “Oh yeah, that’s right. But I’m gonna make sure I won’t forget anything! I mean, I’ve already been away from all my friends for a year, and I don’t want to do it again. All right, I’m going now. Thanks for everything.”

    He left the kitchen and saw a green Espeon and — Oh Mew no, he thought — a blue Gallade. “Go away, Rapier!” Billy was saying.

    “Why should I?” Rapier asked. “I just want to see my good buddy Dema! Hey, Dema, you doing kitchen duty with that non-shiny Suzu again?”

    Dema scoffed. “What? Are you discriminating against non-shinies now?”

    “Of course not! That would be stupid. It’s just . . . you’re an initiate, and you’re about to be ordained!” The Gallade was obviously jealous that Dema was being ordained and he wasn’t. “But hey, did you know I’m doing the Blessing of the Bells ceremony with Billy for the ordainment? Well, you know, that’s a big honor and all . . . I might freak out and do it wrong. I might mess up on summoning Mew.” He smiled awkwardly, but Dema could tell it was a poorly disguised smirk.

    “You wouldn’t,” Dema growled. “I mean, Billy’s gonna be there, and he wouldn’t like to see me fail. And so is Seer. He’d have your head if you messed it up.”

    Rapier laughed. “Oh, Dema, you’re so naïve. It’s obvious that Seer likes me better. I heard that I should be the one who’s ordained tomorrow, but that old coot Spiriteye just had to step in for you . . . I bet that crazy Xatu isn’t a seer.”

    “Shut up!” the Medicham screamed. “You don’t know anything! And don’t you talk about Spiriteye like that! He’s a good seer and a good friend! Quit butting in when you don’t know anything. . . .” He trailed off, remembering something. I have to admit, I wanted Rapier ordained first, Seer had said. Rapier was right! But Spiriteye had a good reason for choosing him over the Gallade. “Also, Spiriteye wasn’t just stepping in for me. He told me that you need more respect, huh, Billy?”

    “That’s right,” the shiny Espeon confirmed.

    “Oh, good for you,” Rapier said dryly. “You have a loon who barely does anything but ‘talk to spirits’ all day on your side, whereas I have the most powerful seer who just happens to be the founder of the Seers of Mew on my side. I can see why you two are so much better than me.”

    “Thank you!” Billy replied.

    “You do know he was being sarcastic, right?” Dema asked.

    “Of course I do! But if I say ‘thank you’ like it was a genuine compliment, it’ll catch him off guard! Do you catch my drift?”

    “That is the stupidest thing you’ve ever said,” was all the Medicham had to say.

    “You know what? I’m not wasting any more time hanging around you losers,” Rapier said, sauntering off. “See you guys later!”

    “I hope not,” Billy said once the Gallade was out of earshot.

    “Hey, Billy, I have to tell you something. Something important.” Dema wanted to talk about the memory loss with someone, and his best friend was a good candidate for that.

    “What is it? I’m all ears.” To accentuate that, the Espeon flicked his large ears.

    “So . . . you know how newly ordained seers act weird for a year or so? I was talking with Suzu, and he said it was straight-up memory loss. Now, I don’t want to go through that. I’ve already been away for a year, and losing my memory for another one is kinda like doing the same thing again. So I’m making sure I won’t get my memory wiped. In fact, I promise to Mew that I won’t get my memory wiped!” Promising to Mew was a strong thing normally, but to the Seers of Mew it was an unbreakable pact. “Let He look down on me and make sure that I keep the promise,” Dema finished, which was the right thing to say after making a promise to Mew.

    “Whoa, that’s deep stuff,” Billy replied. “But wait. You seriously promise to Mew?”

    “Yeah I do,” Dema said. “I even said the right words and all that stuff. I’m not losing my memory, and they can’t make me!”

    “That’s good for you.” Billy walked down the hall, staring at the doors. “Well, we’ve got some down time right now, so — where’s our room? — let’s hang out and catch up on stuff. I mean, you were gone for a year. So, what were you up to for the last year?” The Espeon used his psychic powers to open a door and walked in.

    Dema rolled his eyes. “Do you even have to ask?” He went into the room he shared with Billy and sat down on the bed. The sheets were all wadded up from when he had gotten up last year, and they were probably going to be stuck that way seeing how stiff and cold they were. “Really, Billy?” Dema asked.

    “What?” the Espeon protested. “It’s your job to make your bed, and you weren’t around!”

    The blue Medicham scoffed. “Yeah, right. I already know you’re lazy. But whatever, I’ll clean this up.” Dema stripped his bed of the stiff sheets and dumped them in the laundry basket. “But you have to go wash them,” he told his friend.

    “Why?” Billy asked. Dema just met his question with a stern glare, and Billy sighed. “Okay, okay, you got me.” The green gem on his forehead glowed and the laundry basket began to levitate. He walked out of their room, the basket floating after him.

    Seriously, what’s wrong with Dema? Billy thought angrily as he walked down the hall. Ever since he came back, he’s kinda been acting like that jerk Rapier! And speaking of him, if he messes up on summoning Mew tomorrow I’m gonna kill him.

    Suddenly, his paw touched water. With a start, he green Espeon realized he had already reached the Pool of Washing. All around him, initiates were bathing or washing laundry in the pond. Billy dumped the sheets in the water, wrung them out, and spread them on some rocks. Then, he realized he had forgotten the soap.

    “Hey . . . hey, you!” Billy said a little awkwardly, tapping the initiate next to him (who was also doing laundry) with his tail. “Can I borrow your soap?”

    “Sure.” The bar of soap splashed into the water in front of him, and Billy levitated it over to the sheets and scrubbed them. While he did that, he kept talking to himself.

    “Stupid Rapier . . . he’s probably planning something,” he grumbled. Now, it seemed like Billy had a grudge on the Gallade, and as a matter of fact, that was completely correct. When Billy had been a young Eevee, he had been subjected to constant bullying by Rapier, who was back then a Kirlia. Rapier often made fun of him for not being a Psychic-type. Of course, being the kind of Pokémon he was, Billy had teased him back, laughing at his girly appearance and wondering if Rapier would evolve into a Gardevoir. He didn’t, of course, but his older brother Comet did.

    Someone walked up behind him and cuffed him in the back of the head. It wasn’t too hard to be hostile, but not too light to be friendly. “Me?” the other Pokémon asked. “Planning something? What on earth would ever make you think that?”

    Billy turned around and fixed Rapier in a glare that would kill him on the spot, if looks could kill. “Oh, I dunno. The fact that you hate me and Dema for no real reason!” He paused. “Oh, and the fact that you’re jealous that Dema’s being ordained before you are.”

    “Why would I be jealous of that idiot?” Rapier asked. “You know, Seer told me — well, sorry, Billy. It’s top secret, not that I would tell a loser like you in the first place.”

    “Eh?” Billy was immediately suspicious of the Gallade. “Top secret? Or are you just making that up so you can sound cooler?”

    Rapier scoffed. “Why would I want to sound cooler? I’m already way cooler than you and Dema combined. All I would end up doing is wasting time and effort.”

    “Shut up and go away!” the Espeon yelled.

    “See? You had nothing to say to that!” A wet blanket suddenly attached itself to Rapier’s face. He quickly pulled it off and chucked it into the Pool of Washing. “Real mature,” Rapier said.

    Somehow, Billy managed not to retort. He just went on washing the sheets, ignoring the Gallade next to him. It was a good strategy — Rapier was confused by the normally talkative Espeon’s lack of reaction and eventually left.

    When the washing was done, Billy hung the sheets on a nearby clothesline to dry and returned to his room. Dema was meditating on his bed.

    “Hey!” yelled Billy, getting Dema’s attention.

    “I was meditating!” the Medicham said irritably. “If you don’t remember, I told you never to interrupt my meditation!”

    Billy flicked his tail. “Aren’t you sick of it, though?” he asked. “I mean, you were meditating for an entire year!”

    “Not at all,” his friend replied. “But anyways, what’s up?”

    “I showed Rapier!” Billy exclaimed. Dema didn’t ask as to what Rapier had been shown, as he knew it was one of those juvenile expressions Billy loved using.

    “Great,” Dema said dryly. “How did you do that?”

    “I didn’t talk to him, and he just left!”

    Under his breath, Dema muttered, “You should do that more often.”

    Billy, who had heard that, whacked Dema with his forepaw. “Shut up!” he hissed. “Quit being an ass to me!”

    “What, does everybody except me — and maybe Spiriteye and Suzu — hate you?” Dema meant it as a joke, but then he saw the harsh look in Billy’s eyes.

    “Pretty much,” the Espeon said. “You know how much that sucks?”

    “Okay, okay, sorry,” Dema replied. “Calm down! I didn’t know that.”

    Billy scoffed. “Come on, Dema. Remember when we were little and practically everyone bullied us?”

    The Medicham groaned. Of course he remembered that, but he didn’t like to. “Billy, just . . . just don’t remind me,” he said.

    “Well, sorry,” replied Billy. “But anyways —” The Espeon paused. Outside, there was a lot of commotion. Now, there was always quite a bit of chatter, but commotion outside meant one thing: it was time for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. “But anyways, it’s time for supper!” he finished.

    The two of them walked to the dining hall. That room was rather large, its main feature a banquet table designed to seat hundreds of Pokémon. Dema and Billy quickly found two empty spots at it and slipped into them. Fortunately for them, they were far away from Rapier or anyone else who liked harassing them (not that there were many besides the Gallade).

    For supper, they were served the same stew Dema had eaten earlier in the day. The blue Medicham was still starving from going without food for a year, so he went for seconds and thirds and fourths and fifths and sixths and sevenths and eighths — all the way to elevenths. After that, Suzu refused to give Dema any more food.

    “Really, Dema, at this rate, you’re going to deplete my entire pantry!” the Chimecho exclaimed. “I know what happened to you, but this food is for other Pokémon, as well! A lot of other Pokémon.”

    Dema sighed. “Well, have there been any other Medichams in this temple?” he asked.

    Suzu shuddered. “Don’t get me started. . . . Once, there were five Medichams who evolved in the same year. Do you know how much food we had to buy? Everyone was starving! As for the Medichams, they were malnourished. But somehow, we pulled through, thank Mew.”

    “Oh,” Dema replied. “That sounds like it sucked a lot.”

    “It was horrible,” Suzu confirmed.

    “Well . . . okay. Bye, Suzu!” Dema didn’t really feel so hungry anymore, possibly due to the conversation they had just had. Everyone had been starving because of the malnourished Medichams. Granted, there were five of them. But still, Dema thought. I won’t be like that. I’ll become a seer tomorrow, and seers don’t just sit around and eat food!

    When Dema returned to his room, he found that Billy was already asleep in the basket in the room’s corner. Yawning, he climbed into his own bed, falling asleep immediately. He needed that sleep.

    It was going to be a big day tomorrow.

    “Come on, Dema! Get up!”

    Dema just groaned and rolled over. Billy was trying to wake him up. Was that Espeon seriously trying to bother him? Billy never got up before him unless there was something important like —

    “The ordainment!” Dema screamed, suddenly rocketing up and throwing Billy off his perch on the Medicham’s bed. “I almost forgot!” Dema looked out the window. The sky outside was gray — judging by that, it was early in the morning. Well, that was no problem. As far as Dema knew, all ordainments happened in the early morning. Once a year, he had woken up and found out that one of the initiates was gone forever. Even though he knew that they were being ordained, it was still extremely creepy.

    “All right, this is it,” the blue Medicham said under his breath, hoping to psych himself up. Before he could start thinking second thoughts, Dema began to walk towards the large, elaborate staircase at the end of the initiate hall. It led to the rest of the temple, an area that was only accessible to seers. And initiates being ordained or participating in the Blessing of the Bells.

    At the foot of the stairs, Seer and Rapier were waiting. Rapier opened his mouth to make a snide remark about how Dema and Billy were late, but Seer beat him to the punch. “Ah, it appears everyone is present. Now, let’s proceed with the ordainment. Follow me.” The shiny Alakazam began to lead them up the stairs. They were heading for the shrine at the very top of the temple, the place where Mew would be summoned.

    It would be safe to say all the initiates involved were extremely nervous, Dema most of all. Billy even had a friendly conversation with Rapier, which showed how nervous they really were. “So, did you memorize your part of the story?” Billy asked. “I think I know mine, but I think I really might get nervous and mess up on summoning Mew.”

    “Yeah, me too. I wasn’t just messing with you and Dema when I said that before,” Rapier replied. “Why do we have to recite the story of the origins of the Seers of Mew, anyways? I think using the psychic energy on the bells and ringing them is the part that really calls him.”

    “Yeah, the story’s just tradition, I think,” Billy said. “But I have to wonder, what happens after that? I know Mew draws blood from himself and the initiate drinks it, but after that . . .”

    Seer, who had been listening to their conversation, decided to jump in. “You two will know when it is your time,” he said sagely. “And I can tell you right now that one of you will be ordained next year, and the other one ordained the year after that. You three are the oldest initiates in the temple, and it’s time you all become full seers.”

    “Ah,” Rapier said. “How much you guys wanna bet that I get ordained before Billy?” Well, he wasn’t nervous anymore.

    “Guys, stop!” Dema exclaimed. “You guys have to work together to summon Mew, remember? If you keep arguing and screw up on that, then — I don’t know — you two might get kicked out of the temple.” That was a big probability. Summoning Mew was serious business.

    “In cases like that, I can always finish the summoning,” Seer replied. “However, I can’t say you two won’t be punished.” The Alakazam gestured to Billy and Rapier with his spoons.

    The Espeon’s ears immediately flattened. “Oh, okay. I’ll try not to fight with him. . . . But it’s hard not to fight with an annoying jerk like Rapier.”

    Seer sighed. Never in his long life had he heard any Pokémon fight like that. Sure, there were always bullies, but they picked on younger initiates who didn’t have the guts to even look at the older initiates. He had never seen anything like the hatred between Billy and Rapier. Dema and Rapier hated each other to an extent, but at least the Medicham was keeping his mouth shut and not adding fuel to the figurative flames.

    The four Pokémon came to a stop in front of an extremely elaborate door. This led to the shrine, a place where only Seer and whoever was being ordained were allowed in. The summoning of Mew would have to be done in the antechamber. In the middle of the floor, there were five brass bells. One of the bells was larger than the others, which were arranged in a square around it. Billy and Rapier quickly hurried to the bells.

    “Ready?” asked Rapier. With a slight hiss, blue blades slid out from his elbows.

    The gem on Billy’s forehead started glowing softly. “Ready,” said the Espeon, flexing his tail over his head. “All right, let’s do this!”

    Billy swung his tail, sending psychic energy at one of the smaller bells. When the energy hit the bell, it turned a light pink and began to levitate. “Long ago, the king Mew was attacked and gravely wounded. He passed out in a stream, his blood mixing with the water.”

    Rapier fired a Psycho Cut at another bell, causing it to float up as well. “A shiny Abra from a nearby village came to the stream to drink. As there was Mew’s blood in the water, the Abra gained immortality and heightened psychic powers.”

    Billy hit the third bell. “The Abra did not open his eyes to see and therefore did not see Mew, but he managed to sense the king’s aura. And so, he took Mew to the village, where his wounds were healed.”

    The fourth bell was, of course, hit by Rapier. “When Mew came to, he found that he had been healed. Standing nearby was the shiny Abra who had found him. Now, this Abra wanted nothing more than to serve Mew. And so, Mew made it be.

    Together, Billy and Rapier struck the fifth bell with a large wave of energy. The large bell floated up, glowing almost white. In unison, the two Pokémon recited, “And Mew said, ‘You shall call others like you to serve me, and every year, I shall bless them with my blood.’ Mew! We summon You! Come to us and bless this initiate with Your blood!”
    The bells then rung, the strong, clear sound reverberating through the room. It also sent out a ripple of pink energy. The door began glowing. It opened a crack, and Billy and Rapier lunged for it, trying to catch a glimpse of the deity they served. Seer and Dema slipped through it, shutting it before Billy and Rapier could even try to take a peek at Mew.

    “Ah, King Mew,” Seer intioned. “It is an honor to —”

    “Seer!” the pink feline exclaimed, clapping the Alakazam on the back. “How goes it? You don’t have to go through all those formalities; a simple ‘good morning’ will suffice!” Mew looked around the room. “So, who’s the lucky initiate today?” His gaze fixed on Dema. “Is it yooou?”

    Dema, who in quite a bit of shock from seeing Mew, could only answer, “Ten guesses.”

    That took Mew aback. “Jeez, Seer, the initiate’s kinda cold, don’t you think?” he whispered to the Alakazam.

    “Huh? Well, I’m not always like that!” Dema exclaimed. “It’s just — anxiety, that’s what I think it is.”

    “Anxiety?” Mew asked. “Why would you have that? You’re not the one who has to cut themselves open! Sure, I just slash both of my forearms, but what if they get infected? I mean, I’m immortal, but it’ll still suck.”

    Hearing Mew’s casual banter, Dema began to relax a bit. “Aw, don’t worry about it!” he replied. “The first thing I’ll do when I become a seer is heal you.”

    “Nice of you to offer, but hopefully, that won’t be much of a problem,” Mew replied. “Now, let’s get started!”

    Seer held a tray aloft. On it, there was a gold goblet and a knife. Mew picked the knife up, dug it into his forearm, and made a long cut. He didn’t even flinch while doing so, or even when he slashed his other arm. Well, he had done that for centuries. It probably didn’t even hurt anymore.

    Mew then held his arms out, letting the blood drip into the goblet. He seemed to have a lot of it, as it streamed into the cup quickly. When the goblet was half full, Seer took it and handed it to Dema. For a while, the initiate just stared uncertainly into the cup. He knew he was supposed to drink it, but that was just nasty. The smell — actually, now that he thought about it, there was no smell. Holding his breath, Dema gulped down the blood. And strangely, as he did, he felt his body filling with energy.

    “All right, I did it!” Dema gasped.

    “Good for you!” Mew exclaimed. “Now, I better take care of this.” The skin around his wounds glowed and patched itself together. Using his telekinesis, Seer picked up the drops of blood that were still on Mew’s skin and deposited them in another goblet on the shrine.

    “I think . . . I finally have enough,” he murmured.

    “What was that?” asked Dema.

    The old Alakazam turned quickly around. “Oh, nothing,” he said. “Disregard that.”

    Well, that sounded suspicious. “Okay,” the Medicham said. “So, what do I do now? Am I a seer now?”

    “Not yet,” Seer answered, taking something off the shrine. It appeared to be a crown made of a white metal. “First, you must go through the Cleansing.”

    “The . . . Cleansing?” Dema asked. “What’s that?”

    “Oh, there are things in your brain . . . things that can hinder the growth of psychic power you get from drinking Mew’s blood,” Seer explained. “Like your memories. And, believe it or not, your will. This, the Crown of Cleansing, will cleanse you of those things. For a year, you’ll go into intense meditation to hone your powers, similar to the meditation you had done in order to evolve. At the end of the year, your memories and will shall be restored.”

    “Will?” To Dema, that sounded ominous. “That crown of cleansing will take my will and memories? Well, I’ll get them back in a year, but without any will, who controls me?”

    “I will,” Seer replied. Quickly, he added, “But only for a year!” However, that was only a half-truth. You see, a seer’s will was never fully restored. Seer could take control of any of the seers at any time. Having control over some of the most powerful Pokémon in the world . . . the possibilities were endless. Even Mew had no idea about it. “So, proceed with the Cleansing!” the Alakazam proclaimed, holding the crown out.

    Fortunately for Dema, he was saved from an eternity of being a mindless slave by the promise he had made to Mew. “Well,” he began, “I can’t. I made a promise to Mew that I wouldn’t lose my memories.”

    “He’s a good one, isn’t he?” Mew asked, elbowing Seer. “He honors his promise to me! Of course, it’s unbreakable, but —”

    Nobody accepts the blood but denies the cleansing!” Seer roared. On its own accord, the crown began moving towards Dema. Instinctively, one of the Medicham’s powerful legs shot out, kicking it away. The crown smashed into the shrine and broke.

    “It’s fine if my powers aren’t honed!” Dema exclaimed.

    “You — I should not need to explain! And you . . . you broke the crown!” Seer’s eyes glowed blue. “Seers! Attack!”

    Instantly, seers began to flood the room, charging up attacks. All of their eyes were glowing the same eerie blue.

    “He never gave them their wills back!” Mew screamed. “Oh man, this is not good! Quick, Dema! Escape! I’ll hold them off!”

    Too frightened to speak, Dema leaped through the open door. Billy and Rapier were standing there. Well, Dema couldn’t just risk his best friend’s life. “Billy!” he screamed. “Follow me! We have to get out!”

    “Wh —” the Espeon began. Then, he spotted the seers battling with Mew. “Oh, Mew, this is not good!”

    “What are you doing?!” yelled Seer. “They’re getting away! After them!”

    Instantly, the seers turned to Dema and Billy. “Mew help us!” Dema shouted.

    “Someone call for help?” asked Mew, teleporting by their side. “Don’t worry, I got this!” The god Pokémon formed a pink energy bubble around them. “There, let them try to get through that!”

    Meanwhile, in all the commotion, Rapier was just standing by. “What’s going on?” he asked no one in particular.

    “THEY ARE TRAITORS!” Seer roared. “AFTER THEM!”

    “Traitors?” Rapier’s blades extended. “I knew there was something up with those two.” And so, he joined the hunt, but it was on his own free will.

    Mew, Dema, and Billy just kept running and running. The bubble around them began to flicker. Then, it popped entirely. “This is one of those times when I’d say, oh, me,” Mew said. All around them, Pokémon fired their attacks. “I mean, one of these seers alone is almost as powerful as me. Nothing a little transformation can’t fix, though.”

    “Transformation?” Billy asked. “What’s that —” However, he completely gave up on making a cynical retort when the full-scale mental assault began. He screamed and screamed, thinking the pain would never end — but it did. The Espeon still didn’t feel right, though. “Mew, what did you do?” he asked, looking around for the pink feline. However, there was none. Instead, there was a large black wolf standing by them.

    Almost immediately, the seers began to take up the cry of “A Shade!” Seer’s hold on their wills began to slip, as well. Shades, or Dark-types, had an aura that completely blocked all usage of psychic powers. Not ever Mew or Arceus (using her Mind Plate) could use their mental powers in a Shade’s presence. And now Mew had transformed into one — a Mightyena, to be exact. There didn’t seem to be a way to revert that transformation, as, of course, dark auras blocked psychic powers.

    “Mew, what did you do?” Billy asked.

    “Saved your asses,” the Mew-turned-Mightyena replied.

    Billy had no response to that.

    “Come on, let’s get out while they’re still shocked!” Dema exclaimed.

    And so the three of them ran and ran and ran. They escaped from the temple and from the surrounding city. And then, even though there were no more seers chasing them, they kept running and running until they felt that they could drop dead from exhaustion (of course, two out of the three were immortal).

    Through all that, there was a lingering thought between the three of them: What did we just do?

    So, hope you guys are interested by the premise of this. Until next time!

    And yes, I did reverse the traditional genders for Mew and Arceus.
    Reply With Quote

    Relevant Advertising!

    Old February 20th, 2012 (10:53 PM).
    bobandbill's Avatar
    bobandbill bobandbill is offline
    shake that booty
    • Administrator
    • PokéCommunity Daily
    • Discord Moderoid
    Join Date: Mar 2008
    Location: Central Coast - Australia
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Jolly
    Posts: 13,305
    Hey, look, I might actually have an original fic idea!
    Uh...yeah, I suppose a fic about shiny Pokemon drinking the blood of a Mew in a yearly ritual only for it to be corrupted by an Alakazam using mind control shenanigans is fairly original. =p

    It comes off as a bit strange, what with taking it in such a direction and with the 'shiny Pokmeon are stronger and mostly male' bits did make me raise an eyebrow or few (or is it a long bow aimed at how IVs worked in gsc...? idk), but the characters are well established here and their interactions are certainly entertaining thus far (my favourite part of the story atm), and it's an interesting situation as well that these characters are in.

    I did wonder a bit at the dark-type = Shade thing there, and being a dark type wouldn't necessarily make them immune either... as they should know more than psychic-type moves for instance, so the fact they stopped attacking so quickly surprised me a bit.
    Like every organization, the Seers of Mew had a dark secret . . . but it had been kept secret for centuries.
    Normally one doesn't see ellipsis spaced out like that, but I suppose it's up to you; personally though I'd have it as '...' rather than '. . .'. 'secret' was repeated twice there as well in the one sentence and so sounds repetitive; I suggest changing one of them.
    He had completely forgotten about that, it hadn’t mattered before.
    The comma there doesn't sound quite right there. It would probably be better as two separate sentences or using a hyphen or semi-colon instead.
    “Of course not! That would be stupid. It’s just . . . you’re an initiate, and you’re about to be ordained!” The Gallade was obviously jealous that Dema was being ordained and he wasn’t.
    One issue I feel could use work is that sometimes you told rather than shown. By that I mean that you tell us facts rather than show us things that lead us to realise those facts without being told bluntly. For instance, here you stated '...was obviously jealous that...'. Rather than saying that show us some actions that will indicate to us that he is jealous. Is he frowning? Does he make a huff after he says those words? Doing so is also often a more interesting way to read info as opposed to 'he was obviously jealous' and keeps the story moving with events rather than statements, and makes the scene easier to visualise as well.
    “Okay ,okay, you got me.”
    You'd want to move the position of the first comma to the left a touch.
    Suddenly, his paw touched water. With a start, he green Espeon realized he had already reached the Pool of Washing.
    the. And is the pool of washing needing the capitalisation? It seems an odd place to be of significance to the story personally.
    It led to the rest of the temple, an area that was only accessible to seers. And initiates being ordained or participating in the Blessing of the Bells.
    I feel this reads better as one sentence rather than two - it reads a bit clunk-y as-is.
    “Ah,” Rapier said. “How much you guys wanna bet that I get ordained before Billy?” Well, he wasn’t nervous anymore.
    Sometimes you made statements like the one bolded that seemed to interrupt the flow of the story to tell us facts (again, a 'show don't tell' thing); it's arguably at least close to "breaking the fourth wall" which is when the narrator interrupts the story to address the audience directly, such as here to tell us he wasn't nervous anymore. Rather than say it like that, show us how he isn't nervous, like describing how he said it, or something that indicates it (smirking, etc). There were other moments like this too such as explaining how the Seer had actually still had access to everyone's wills and parts around there that seemed out of left field.
    The fourth bell was, of course, hit by Rapier. “When Mew came to, he found that he had been healed. Standing nearby was the shiny Abra who had found him. Now, this Abra wanted nothing more than to serve Mew. And so, Mew made it be.
    You're missing a quotation mark at the end there.
    “Mew, what did you do?” Billy asked.

    “Saved your asses,” the Mew-turned-Mightyena replied.

    Billy had no response to that.
    I liked this interchange, haha.

    Not a bad start albeit what I'd call a weird premise. =p Just watch out with telling the readers too many details as opposed to showing them, is the main thing I'll advise so far. Good luck with the rest of your fic!
    Reply With Quote
    Old February 21st, 2012 (5:21 PM).
    y stri y stri is offline
    Got no theme right now.
      Join Date: Mar 2008
      Location: Land of Heat and Clockwork
      Age: 19
      Gender: Female
      Nature: Naughty
      Posts: 113
      Thank you for reviewing! I've noticed that I'm good with character interaction and things like that, which is why I'm very dialogue-reliant, I think.

      But yeah, I do need to stop infodumping, I tend to do that a lot.
      Reply With Quote
      Old February 27th, 2012 (9:12 PM).
      psyanic's Avatar
      psyanic psyanic is offline
        Join Date: May 2011
        Location: The USA
        Age: 21
        Gender: Male
        Nature: Lax
        Posts: 1,283
        How dare you. You changed the genders! I am going to have to sue someone. I want my logic to be compensated. Nah, I'm kidding. Ironically, I thought Mew was male at first. Then Arceus, the majestic llama, came along and screwed up all my beliefs.

        I'll agree with bobandbill on the interactions. It was pretty solid, and I especially liked Mew's popping in on the seer and totally killing the mood. I almost thought that Mew would be like Jesus and sacrifice his blood. Such a cryptic thought...

        One of my main problems with this was the lack of description. I think this is a bit evident in the kitchen scene. It's a bit flat. There's a table, a stove, an oven, and that's just saying what's there. You say that it was a nice place, but I just didn't feel that vibe. When I thought nice, I imagined a wood brick oven with an inflating piece of dough inside. The smells of buttermilk and the heat of the flames... That would create more vivid imagery. Don't just say what's there; that's bland. Describing things should be more in the eyes of a character. I find it easier that way. So Dema would see these things and look on with nostalgia, such as looking at the stove where he burnt his hand once. It's just more descriptive that way. As a matter of fact, I think description is really the only thing you don't have. Mostly, you don't seem to need it, but at other times, especially in big pivotal scenes, I think adding in some would really help the tone.

        Also, Dema's reaction was really short. I feel like I say this a lot, but you want to dedicate word space to important events. Obviously, being ordained is a big deal. bobandbill did say this, and I'll repeat it. "Dema gasped, still shocked" should be more of a show, don't tell situation. Oh he gasped, yay. That doesn't tell me much other than he's... excited? Think about it, putting in something like clutching his chest and fainting onto Billy (which is probably the most common name in this whole story) is more expressive. Now, that is a bit ridiculous since Dema totally wouldn't do that, but I hope that got the message across. It's a lot different than saying he was shocked.

        Originally Posted by Electricmudkip View Post
        “I have to admit, I wanted Rapier ordained first,” Seer admitted, “but as Spiriteye just explained, it would not be the best idea.
        You use admit and admitted in the same sentence. It's repetitive, so you might want to change the "admitted" to just "said" or something.

        Originally Posted by Electricmudkip View Post
        Dema wanted to talk about the memory loss with someone, and his best friend was a good candidate for that.
        Honestly, this whole bit was pointless. You say what he's going to talk about, then he says it two lines later. It's a bit... repetitive. Again. I think it's more interesting for readers to find out what Dema will talk about. I mean come on, create a bit of suspense or something. Keep the readers on their toes and keep 'em guessing.

        Originally Posted by Electricmudkip View Post
        The green gem on his forehead glowed and the laundry basket began to levitate.
        Believe it or not, an Espeon's gem does not change color if it's shiny. It stays the same old red. Only the fur changes color. I was wondering why the whole thing would be green...

        Originally Posted by Electricmudkip View Post
        Billy turned around and fixed Rapier in a glare that would kill him on the spot, if looks could kill.
        I've seen this expression used so many times, I can't even count the times I've read it on my fingers. Usually it's like, "If looks could kill, Raper would be dead ten times over." Meh, I'm picky aren't I?

        And that's about it. At least, that's all I wanted to really go over. It's getting late so I had to cut this review short. I need my beauty sleep, just so you know. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It's definitely an interesting story and I'm wondering what will happen next now that they can't go anywhere. What's more questioning is that what will happen to the seers? Without Mew, who would they worship. Or how would they react knowing that they attacked their deity... Oh questions, you make my head hurt.
        Reply With Quote

        Quick Reply

        Join the conversation!

        Create an account to post a reply in this thread, participate in other discussions, and more!

        Create a PokéCommunity Account

        Sponsored Links
        Thread Tools

        Posting Rules
        You may not post new threads
        You may not post replies
        You may not post attachments
        You may not edit your posts

        BB code is On
        Smilies are On
        [IMG] code is On
        HTML code is Off
        Minimum Characters Per Post: 25

        Forum Jump

        All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:16 PM.