Off-Topic Hang out with people and talk about whatever. Feel free to suggest a better description for this forum as everyone seems to have an opinion. :D

TrollandToad.com
Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1    
Old December 24th, 2012 (12:51 AM).
au bon's Avatar
au bon au bon is offline
  • Developer
  • Platinum Tier
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New Jersey
Gender: Male
Nature: Quirky
Posts: 17,313
"I'm sorry if I offended you."
"I'm sorry you feel that way. I didn't mean to make you feel that way."

Are you guilty of using non-apology apologies?
How do you feel when others issue these types of apologies?
Reply With Quote

Relevant Advertising!

  #2    
Old December 24th, 2012 (1:29 AM). Edited December 24th, 2012 by TornZero.
TornZero's Avatar
TornZero TornZero is offline
Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
     
    Join Date: Apr 2010
    Location: In your pantry, eatin' your delicious cake.
    Age: 24
    Gender: Female
    Posts: 1,139
    "Sorry, but I expect my kids to be more helpful." — My mother about three hours after yelling at us for pretty much anything about anything, mildly cut and censored.

    This is the kind of non-apology I deal with on a near-daily basis, where my mother decides to only start with a "sorry", but it's really just blaming us more for anything about anything, which is usually about someone not doing some particular thing around the house, even if they do everything else.

    It's always the "but" that makes it offensive, and they try to pass it off as an apology.



    Of course, not only do I see it a lot, but I make it very clear that I'm not actually apologizing for being offensive when I do it. From me, it's more like, "I didn't mean to actually insult you; I just don't know how to put what I [tried to have] said [constructively] nicely... so I didn't." I was raised in a "do unto others as you would like done to yourself" house, too, so I'm expecting that they should be just as straight with me for the same purpose.
    __________________

    I will be moving my account to Songbird over the course of immediately. The signature will stay as is for posterity and reference.
    Reply With Quote
      #3    
    Old December 24th, 2012 (2:27 AM).
    Overlord Drakow's Avatar
    Overlord Drakow Overlord Drakow is offline
    -CONQUERER
       
      Join Date: Oct 2007
      Location: Down Under
      Nature: Hasty
      Posts: 3,655
      On the rare occasion, yeah. "I'm sorry you feel that way" is the one I've used before. I don't think I've ever seen anyone give out an apology like that before, not that I can recall anyway. On another note "I'm sorry if I offended you" seems like a legit apology to me.
      __________________
      "Power through ambition." - Overlord Drakow
      The Painist
      Reply With Quote
        #4    
      Old December 24th, 2012 (2:27 AM).
      Kura's Avatar
      Kura Kura is offline
      twitter.com/kuraberryart
         
        Join Date: Sep 2004
        Location: Horsham, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
        Age: 27
        Gender: Female
        Nature: Serious
        Posts: 11,014
        This is one of my biggest peeves, actually. I despise when people do this and I usually call them out on it. Likewise, because it bothers me so much, I never do it myself- or if I ever do, it'd just be bad wording on my part. I don't this "I'm sorry I offended you" falls into this category, because it meant just that you didn't mean for them to interpret it in the wrong way, and if you knew it would, you wouldnt say it in the first place, but you may still stand by it.
        __________________
        ~Yuugiou Fan~
        ~Kamen Rider Fan~
        ♡(´・ω・`)LOVE! ☆
        Reply With Quote
          #5    
        Old December 24th, 2012 (8:04 AM).
        von Weltschmerz von Weltschmerz is offline
        the first born unicorn
           
          Join Date: Oct 2012
          Posts: 135
          I never do that. But it's mostly because I just don't apologize. I wouldn't do anything I'm ashamed of admitting or unproud of. Thus even if someone did get offended, I wouldn't care so much--to each their own. But I'm not perfect, so...when I do concede that I am fault, I apologize, quite genuinely.
          __________________
          Being wrong isn't "bad", failing to admit that you are, is.
          Reply With Quote
            #6    
          Old December 24th, 2012 (11:58 AM).
          XIII's Avatar
          XIII XIII is offline
          don't you remember?
          • Crystal Tier
           
          Join Date: May 2011
          Age: 18
          Posts: 1,835
          I don't like it when people do that, because it almost always seems as if they're doing it solely to piss me off or look witty in front of a group. Ugh.
          __________________
          let's meet again
          in the next life
          (tumblr)
          Reply With Quote
            #7    
          Old December 24th, 2012 (12:00 PM).
          Cherrim's Avatar
          Cherrim Cherrim is offline
          the blossom pokémon
          • Platinum Tier
           
          Join Date: Dec 2002
          Location: Waterloo, ON
          Age: 28
          Gender: Female
          Nature: Relaxed
          Posts: 30,829
          I do these a lot, I think. I try to catch myself because I know it's annoying and it doesn't sound very sincere but I'm just not good at wording apologies. :/ It wouldn't surprise me if I offended even more with half the apologies I do take the initiative to make.

          That said, I don't notice when I make those kinds of apologies since I don't usually notice when others do it unless the apology itself is another insult altogether. :s
          __________________


          Reply With Quote
            #8    
          Old December 24th, 2012 (4:43 PM).
          Hannah's Avatar
          Hannah Hannah is offline
          beep bop boop
          • Gold Tier
           
          Join Date: Oct 2012
          Age: 16
          Gender: Female
          Nature: Quiet
          Posts: 1,162
          I consider all apologies as proper. I don't think any apology can be a non-apology, if you catch my drift.
          __________________

          beep bop boop
          Reply With Quote
            #9    
          Old December 24th, 2012 (5:37 PM).
          antemortem's Avatar
          antemortem antemortem is offline
          farewell, fated few
          • Crystal Tier
           
          Join Date: Jan 2012
          Location: Texas
          Gender: Male
          Nature: Naughty
          Posts: 7,589
          I'm not the best when it comes to wording apologies either. I trip over my words, even, when attempting to apologize, no matter how sincere I am, and, of course, doing so makes it seem even less sincere. 'I'm sorry about that,' is an apology I use extremely often but I can never come up with anything else to say. It's become my go-to apology, and I've tried to wean myself off of it to no avail.
          __________________
          TURN ON THE BRIGHT LIGHTS
          Reply With Quote
            #10    
          Old December 24th, 2012 (10:38 PM). Edited December 28th, 2012 by Sweet Smoochum.
          Sweet Smoochum's Avatar
          Sweet Smoochum Sweet Smoochum is offline
          Banned
             
            Join Date: Dec 2005
            Location: NEW JERSEY, Sayreville. 08872.
            Gender: Female
            Nature: Bashful
            Posts: 1,402
            Sometimes, rarely, I say, I'm sorry you're a (insert word filled with *'s here.)

            Yeah, if the person's not accepting of a legit apology. That's if I'm not being myself.

            How would I know how you really feel about a situation?

            (That was indirect at someone who doesn't come on here.)
            Reply With Quote
              #11    
            Old December 24th, 2012 (11:24 PM).
            Esper's Avatar
            Esper Esper is offline
            • Silver Tier
             
            Join Date: Jun 2009
            Location: California
            Posts: 10,621
            It's easy to see through these. There's really no reason to pretend you're actually apologizing. It just makes you look juvenile, especially if you insist that you have apologized after someone calls you out on it.

            If someone's not going to apologize sincerely I'd rather they didn't say anything and just go away. That, or I'd want to argue it out because sometimes I just need to argue something out.
            __________________
            Reply With Quote
              #12    
            Old December 26th, 2012 (1:45 PM).
            outfox's Avatar
            outfox outfox is offline
            in
               
              Join Date: Aug 2012
              Gender: Female
              Posts: 459
              Maybe it's my misunderstanding but the two sample apologies given in the op don't seem phony at all. :x I take any apology with a grain of salt, actions are louder than words.
              __________________
              Reply With Quote
                #13    
              Old December 29th, 2012 (5:11 PM).
              Shining Raichu's Avatar
              Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
              Expect me like you expect Jesus.
              • Platinum Tier
               
              Join Date: Feb 2011
              Location: Australia
              Age: 26
              Gender: Male
              Nature: Adamant
              Posts: 9,075
              I don't do these because it drives me up the wall when people do it to me.
              The form of a non-apology apology that I really hate is the "I'm sorry, but..." like, "I'm sorry, but you wouldn't do what you were told." It's really saying "this is your fault but I'm apologising for appearances." and that's just not good enough.
              __________________

              "So this is why God bombed us."

              Moderator of General Chat

              Reply With Quote
                #14    
              Old December 29th, 2012 (5:20 PM).
              Sableye~'s Avatar
              Sableye~ Sableye~ is offline
              Back to PC~
              • Silver Tier
               
              Join Date: Nov 2012
              Gender: Male
              Posts: 4,056
              Yeah, pretty much. Only when I'm literally being forced to apologize for something I'm not sorry for. T:
              __________________
              I can't think of a good signature.
              Reply With Quote
              Reply

              Quick Reply

              Join the conversation!

              Create an account to post a reply in this thread, participate in other discussions, and more!

              Create a PokéCommunity Account

              Sponsored Links
              Thread Tools

              Posting Rules
              You may not post new threads
              You may not post replies
              You may not post attachments
              You may not edit your posts

              BB code is On
              Smilies are On
              [IMG] code is On
              HTML code is Off

              Forum Jump


              All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:38 AM.