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  #3601    
Old April 14th, 2013 (2:51 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Somniac View Post
    Congratulations! I'm sure most of us here know how hard that can be, especially to a peer rather than an adult. Glad he seemed understanding, he clearly cares for you as a brother which is great.

    I always wished I had an older brother, I think it would have been pretty cool.
    Yeah, he's kinda stupid sometimes, but I love the poor lug.
    Both he and his girlfriend understand, and they both have a metric ton of bi/gay friends.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
    Congrats! I would tell you the same thing, you can't trust older men. My girlfriend's ex being one year older scared the crap out of me and is still unsettling. But I guess my ego was at stake :P

    What's it like dating someone older? or younger? I can't imagine myself doing either.
    Well, it's pretty much the same as dating someone whose the same age. Especially with him because I believe I'm his first...
    But I love him so much, but, the distance kills me...
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      #3602    
    Old April 15th, 2013 (8:54 PM).
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    XIII XIII is offline
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by FenrirDarkWolf View Post
    GUYS!
    I did it!
    I came out to my brother! And told him about my boyfriend! And the fact he was 19.
    He told me to be careful, and then went to tell me about his little gay experiences...
    And now he's engaged to the woman he's been dating for years...
    It's weird.
    Yay! *claps* I'm glad for you :D

    That's cool you were able to work up courage to tell him. Now you guys must be a little closer.
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      #3603    
    Old April 16th, 2013 (4:11 AM).
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    FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
      Yay! *claps* I'm glad for you :D

      That's cool you were able to work up courage to tell him. Now you guys must be a little closer.
      Ehh, as close as we'll ever get.
      I still want to whack his head for being stupid sometimes though.
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        #3604    
      Old April 16th, 2013 (6:14 AM).
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      Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
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      I think you underestimate your closeness, tbh. The fact that he felt comfortable enough with you to tell you specifics about any 'gay' experience he's had, or any sexual experience at all, says a lot. My sister knows I'm gay and I wouldn't feel comfortable even approaching a sexual topic with her, nor would she with me. I envy that a bit.

      I always wanted a brother too, though.

      Also re: smells... the guy I was dating wore Britney Spears perfume and I really liked him, and my roommate that I'm slowly falling in love with wears men's cologne. So there's nothing to that for me.
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        #3605    
      Old April 16th, 2013 (7:37 AM).
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      Legobricks Legobricks is offline
         
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        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
        Also re: smells... the guy I was dating wore Britney Spears perfume and I really liked him, and my roommate that I'm slowly falling in love with wears men's cologne. So there's nothing to that for me.
        I believe the question pertains only to natural body odour(s), not manufactured fragrances to which we are not genetically predisposed to react.
          #3606    
        Old April 16th, 2013 (7:14 PM).
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          Somehow, I feel like the rest of my family knows somehow, because, while I was working in the kitchen making dinner with my mom and sister, they told me that they're "proud of me for saying that" and my mom said "I'm proud of you for just being you" or something to the sort, and my dad wanted to talk to me earlier...
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            #3607    
          Old April 16th, 2013 (7:46 PM).
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          =) It's best when things need no explanation.
            #3608    
          Old April 16th, 2013 (7:56 PM).
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by FenrirDarkWolf View Post
          Somehow, I feel like the rest of my family knows somehow, because, while I was working in the kitchen making dinner with my mom and sister, they told me that they're "proud of me for saying that" and my mom said "I'm proud of you for just being you" or something to the sort, and my dad wanted to talk to me earlier...
          If you just told a close family member, and then the rest of your family suddenly knows, I'd say it's pretty obvious what happened.
            #3609    
          Old April 16th, 2013 (8:39 PM).
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          FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
            If you just told a close family member, and then the rest of your family suddenly knows, I'd say it's pretty obvious what happened.
            ....Damn it.
            Imma gonna go kick his booty.
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              #3610    
            Old April 17th, 2013 (10:01 AM).
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            Well, at least he made things easier for you, unless you wanted to tell your close relatives personally. Lol

            I mean, now you know that they're fairly accepting of it, so I guess it wasn't too bad. He should have never said anything in the first place, though. :P
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              #3611    
            Old April 17th, 2013 (4:10 PM).
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            FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Gyardosamped View Post
              Well, at least he made things easier for you, unless you wanted to tell your close relatives personally. Lol

              I mean, now you know that they're fairly accepting of it, so I guess it wasn't too bad. He should have never said anything in the first place, though. :P
              Eh. I know I'll have to go face-to-face on them with the topic later.
              Just hearing it from the brother a good source does not make.
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                #3612    
              Old April 17th, 2013 (5:09 PM).
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by FenrirDarkWolf View Post
              Eh. I know I'll have to go face-to-face on them with the topic later.
              Just hearing it from the brother a good source does not make.
              It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.

              I'm glad it's going well
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                #3613    
              Old April 17th, 2013 (6:04 PM).
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
                It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.

                I'm glad it's going well
                Yeah...
                I think the hard part would be telling them my boyfriend is 19...
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                  #3614    
                Old April 17th, 2013 (6:20 PM).
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                Kanzler Kanzler is offline
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                Haha, but at least you're no worse than anyone else in your situation :P I think if they were okay with it so far it's only reason to be confident about the future ahead.
                  #3615    
                Old April 18th, 2013 (11:17 AM).
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
                It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.
                And yet it's really common. At least from what I've heard from people. If you tell one family member and they think another family member will be okay then they often tell them without asking you first. You know, because "OMG, Bobby told me he was gay. Me! I have to tell someone!"
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                  #3616    
                Old April 18th, 2013 (11:22 AM).
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                I had a friend write to me that he thought he was gay before. We stopped talking for 3 years after >.< But when I started to speak with him again, he told me it was just a phase. Do these things happen?
                  #3617    
                Old April 18th, 2013 (12:06 PM).
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                Yeah, they do. Especially when you're going through puberty and/or if you've been raised in such a way that you didn't learn or talk much about sexuality so that you won't necessarily have the frame of reference that you might ideally have.

                Lots of people think they might be gay because they really are gay, or bi, or even trans, but then decide they'd rather live as straight or at least tell people they're straight, and maybe that's how they really feel. (I'm of the camp that thinks sexuality can be fluid for some people, but that's another topic.) And plenty of people go through feeling like they might be gay because they might have strong feelings for one particular person or another, not necessarily sexual or romantic, but strong enough that they wonder if there's something else at work.
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                  #3618    
                Old April 18th, 2013 (12:15 PM).
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                I just hope he made the right decision ._. But then again it is high school, and everything happens during high school.
                  #3619    
                Old April 18th, 2013 (5:21 PM).
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                Nakuzami Nakuzami is offline
                 
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
                What's it like dating someone older? or younger? I can't imagine myself doing either.
                Lolololololol
                yeah, well, it's nothing big, in my opinion. It's maturity that matters; not age. Well, personally. LEGALLY age still matters. xD Too big a difference can seem odd . . . and obviously dating someone too young is just really freaking creepy. By that I mean <13, and that's if there's less than a four year difference between you. A) because it just seems odd for a twenty-year-old to date a thirteen-year-old, and B) it's kinda illegal in most places. However, if we take minors out of the equation (but I am one, so it's somewhat hard to do in my personal cases xD) then . . . well, the difference doesn't matter at all. Just maturity.
                And even then that can be worked around in some cases. xD

                As for the whole smell topic . . . UM, I actually understand this question completely. And it can certainly get some odd answers . . . like most people here say, they don't like the smell of sweaty people. When it comes to guys, or, more specifically, my guy . . . I kind of enjoy the smell of sweat. It's odd, but hey, whatever.
                When it comes to girls? Normally they smell good, but that's typically artificial. And I'm kind of not shoving my face into the armpits of every female I see.

                @FenrirDarkWolf - Regardless, I think it's good to get such things out in the open. Sometimes we need an outside mind to help us be objective. And sometimes it takes someone outside of the equation to find it's solution. So, while it can be a bit . . . um, rude, I guess, for someone to tell others that, it can be helpful. And, honestly, if it's one family member telling others, and they're genuinely trying to be helpful, I think that's . . . somewhat more okay than in other cases, if you know what I mean?
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                  #3620    
                Old April 18th, 2013 (5:25 PM).
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Nakuzami View Post
                @FenrirDarkWolf - Regardless, I think it's good to get such things out in the open. Sometimes we need an outside mind to help us be objective. And sometimes it takes someone outside of the equation to find it's solution. So, while it can be a bit . . . um, rude, I guess, for someone to tell others that, it can be helpful. And, honestly, if it's one family member telling others, and they're genuinely trying to be helpful, I think that's . . . somewhat more okay than in other cases, if you know what I mean?
                I tend to be really Machiavellian about this. If they tell someone and it turns for the better, I'd say they made really good judgement and they should be praised. But if they tell someone and it turns for the worse, I would want to smack them. I don't really care about what they do, just as long as they can bring into the world the result they intended.
                  #3621    
                Old April 18th, 2013 (7:04 PM).
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                Inkblots Inkblots is offline
                   
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                  *pokes head in* Hello! May I join in?

                  I am aromantic asexual. Hopefully I don't step on any toes by joining, I know there's still a lot of controversy about whether asexuals who aren't bi-, homo-, or pan- romantic should be able to call themselves "queer". I myself am still struggling with whether I feel right joining in under the queer umbrella, as it's only been a couple of years since I discovered asexuality and realized that this is what I am.

                  Actually, I think that might relate somewhat to a question I saw above about whether or not being gay can be a "phase." I - and many asexuals - for the longest time assumed that because I didn't feel any kind of attraction to guys, ever, not even once, that I MUST be gay. I never came out as gay, partly because I was afraid of getting the "you're too young to know what you want" speech, and partly because, even though I knew I definitely wasn't straight, and it always felt wrong when I said I was straight, I had also never felt any kind of attraction to girls, and this confused me quite a bit.
                    #3622    
                  Old April 18th, 2013 (7:14 PM).
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                  Don't ever feel pressured to decide whether you fit under a label or not. That's the opinion other people hold of you and you'll always find people with differing opinions. Personally, I consider asexuality to be a sexual minority and that suffices for you to be called queer. If others decide to exclude you then that's their ignorance and their loss.

                  All the while though, there is some fluidity in sexual and gender identity and people change over time. So whatever happens, it might be a phase? I mean this only that it's a possibility, and the important thing is not to focus on questions of identity too much. There's no point questioning yourself if you aren't going to find an answer and you, as an individual, don't really need an answer - only society and other people need answers.
                    #3623    
                  Old April 18th, 2013 (7:36 PM). Edited April 18th, 2013 by Inkblots.
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                    Thank you ^_^

                    I never felt pressured to label myself, just kind of awkward, because I didn't have the words to describe the way I felt, and didn't have the confidence when I was a teenager to tell people that I just wasn't attracted to ANYONE, because well, that was just weird (now, I don't really give a damn if people think I'm weird). I'm no longer struggling with my identity in terms of orientation, I basically knew within minutes of reading about it that hey, this is me. When I came out, it was the first time I was able to give myself a "label" (for lack of a better word) that didn't feel weird to say. Right now, like I said, it's just whether I consider myself queer or not that I'm still trying to figure out. I'm not overly concerned about it though - if an LGBTQ group wants to include me, I'm cool with that. If they don't, I'm fine being an ally. And if, eventually, there's some kind of collective agreement that aces will have their own group, I'm good with that too. As long as no one's trying to tell me my orientation doesn't exist, I'm happy, haha :)
                      #3624    
                    Old April 18th, 2013 (7:52 PM).
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                    FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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                      Y'know, I often considered myself to asexual for a time...
                      And, I think I still kinda am, in a sense, because, I'm normally not attracted to people, and I'm really still not. It's weird, because, whenever I do feel attracted to someone, it's either gender...
                      I think my mate just kinda wormed his way into my heart, and I love him for that, because, no one else has been able to do that before...

                      Does this make any sense at all?
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                        #3625    
                      Old April 18th, 2013 (7:59 PM).
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                      Kanzler Kanzler is offline
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                      I'm not normally attracted to people either, but I don't consider myself asexual :P Okay that is kind of a lie - I can be easily distracted by assets, but I'm very rarely attracted to someone in that way. If that makes sense and it's fair for me to differentiate between the two.

                      @Fenrir

                      I just realized what you posted. Dude! Aren't you ecstatic about being intimate with your boyfriend? I can't even say the same myself :S
                       

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